Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

861 replies

Sequine · 29/10/2015 17:29

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:29

Stop banging on Piper.

I dont argue when there is nothing to argue about.

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 23:30

Oh great, bring racism and disablism into it Hmm

Well said, Flowers.

Hollyweeeen · 31/10/2015 23:31

There are lots of things that I find uncomfortable and indiscreet e.g. I hate seeing people chew gum. However, I am grown up enough to realise that my own views don't trump someone else's view to do something non-offensive and non harmful. Even if I did find it offensive, so feckin' what?!

Hollyweeeen · 31/10/2015 23:32

Some people are disabllist. It is a fact of life. They have to learn to live with things they don't like.

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 23:33

Piper, why do you think nursing tops/dresses are designed so that baby can be fed discretely? Why not merely demand breastfeeding women pull their whole outfit down?

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:34

flowers sex is intimate - eating is not. End of.

Seriously you guys crying about discretion - what part of BF is offensive? If you actually define what shouldn't be seen then maybe we could have a half decent conversation. I know neither of you are trolls but this is very troll-like behaviour - stirring the pot, not giving answers, making the conversation go round in circles, having ulterior motives (you're clearly getting a humorous kick out of this). I'm actually embarrassed for you, my 2.5 year gives better reasoning for things. Only when she's not swinging off my flopped/wopped/whipped out buzwam of course

GruntledOne · 31/10/2015 23:34

pinotblush, Piper asked you what is your reasoning for saying breastfeeding needs to be discreet other than that it embarrasses you to look, because obviously that isn't a reason in itself. If you've explained that, I haven't seen it and it looks like Piper hasn't either. Could you either explain it again or refer to the post where you say you did so?

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:34

Is this thread getting more weird by the second. Oh yeah, its Halloween Grin

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 23:35

If I had paid good money to dine out and someone was masticating loudly on the table next to me I would ask to be moved. I hate ostentatious chewers Grin

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:35

Elle those clothes aren't made for the common good, they're made to make money.

If a woman actually prefers to BF discreetly - and many do - that's fine. It's the demand from others that all women should I take objection to.

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:36

Why on earth do I "have" to explain?

hahahaha

GruntledOne · 31/10/2015 23:36

People don't want to see you with your breast out in a public place because it makes the majority (YES THE MAJORITY) of people uncomfortable

Evidence, Flowers?

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:36

pinot if there's nothing to argue about why are you on this thread arguing with people and talking shit

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:38

So are Jellycat toys, v expensive and I bet your child has one Piper Grin

GruntledOne · 31/10/2015 23:38

Elle, asking to be moved because you find someone else's eating habits unpleasant seems the sensible response. Perhaps people who don't like seeing breastfeeding could do the same?

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:38

good money to dine out and someone was masticating loudly on the table next to me I would ask to be moved. I hate ostentatious chewers grin

Snap! But chewing gum is generally considered rude. Despite the beliefs of many, BF is not.

GruntledOne · 31/10/2015 23:39

Pinot, you don't have to explain. But when someone is asking you politely to do so, it might be nice. And if you can't explain yourself, you do rather invite people to draw the conclusion that your views aren't based on any sensible reasoning.

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 23:40

That's more than a tad disingenuous, Piper. Are you suggesting that only some breastfeeding women would prefer to feed discreetly? If so, how do the rest do it?

Hollyweeeen · 31/10/2015 23:40

Elle You proved my point. Grin All I was saying is that, if you have a problem with something, then you take action. If you were sat next to a noisy eater, you said you'd ask to move. You didn't suggest asking them to staple their chops together.

kali110 · 31/10/2015 23:40

My last post as my migraine is getting worse
why would you be repulsed by a non sexual body part? Now that is odd!
you were refereeing to breasts as non sexual then later on as sexual.
People may not like bf in their faces but i don't think we should start being the thought police.
Ill leave everybody to carry on going round in circles and trying to say what they did and didn't say.
People will never agree on the same thing.

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:40

WTF is a jellycat toy?! And how does it have relevance?

Are you a 10yo pinot? I can't think of any other reason for you displaying such utter Childishness and nonsense. Are you actually going to tell us why you think BF in public should be discreet?

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:41

I find it rather strangely fascinating.

GruntledOne · 31/10/2015 23:43

Just by the way:

Definition of "discrete": individually separate and distinct.
Definition of "discreet": careful and prudent in one's speech or actions.

I don't think it's really possibly to breastfeed discretely. Unless you mean using each breast separately, in which case most breastfeeders do that anyway.

BondJayneBond · 31/10/2015 23:43

Well, we've already heard that the mere thought of me (or anyone else I guess) breastfeeding my 2 yr old makes Flowers feel sick.

I'd guess that this sort of irrational overreaction to someone else breastfeeding their child is why Flowers would like anyone breastfeeding an infant to be discreet and hide away in a corner.

I'd also guess that she lacks the ability to understand that not everyone thinks the same way that she does, hence the comments about how the majority of people are equally uncomfortable with public breastfeeding.

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:43

That's more than a tad disingenuous, Piper. Are you suggesting that only some breastfeeding women would prefer to feed discreetly? If so, how do the rest do it?

Yes I'm suggesting that.

Well you seemed to give a very elaborate description many times of how you believe people BF indiscreetly, so why do you need to ask me? I believe the descriptions involved flopping, lobbing, whopping, and all other manner of juvenile words