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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

861 replies

Sequine · 29/10/2015 17:29

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 22:56

*knows

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 22:58

Not sure what part of my explaining you dont get?

If you dont get it then fair enough...

kali110 · 31/10/2015 22:58

piper i actually reported some of your posts, so not an anti bf!
Sorry to ruin that for you.
Just hated to see you gang up on people.
I don't care if you don't change your views, but there's no reason to abuse others for not sharing yours.
It's not the swearing either, i don't care about that.
It's calling people sick, ignorant, thick, and accusing them of being trolls just because they refuse to bow down.
Plus it's funny how you say breasts are sexual and then have ago at other posters and say that they aren't just to suit your posts.

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 22:59

And why does your (ridiculous) embarrassment trump their baby's right to have its dinner comfortably. Give a proper reason for once on this thread please as I've asked his question many times now. If someone asked this to your face what would you say?

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 22:59

Piper, really?

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 22:59

pinot you haven't done a single bit of explaining so there nothing to get!

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:00

Really what??

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:00

Piper really?

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:01

Soap box?

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:03

kali when did I say breasts weren't sexual? I have always said sex isn't their primary purpose, and they've been over sexualised. Not the same as saying they're not sexual

It's fine to report my posts if they offend you no apology needed. That's what the report buttons there for and I admit I was close to the bone In many of them.

And I haven't been alone in being offensive to people (see my previous responses to you detailing offensive things other said ) so my sure why you're only having a go at me? And not the likes of pinot Elle and flowers who have been horrendously ride to others. Hey ho like I said I don't wanna play he said she said anymore

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:04

Pinot it's very hard to debate with you when your posts are only a few words long and you don't make sense. If you're gonna state your opinion at least have the good grace to back it up with reasoning. Otherwise I'm not sure why you're on this thread?

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:09

I've not been "ride" Piper.

Im on a forum.

Im not in debate.

I dont talk in riddles.

BondJayneBond · 31/10/2015 23:09

I dont want to see someones tits in public. A muzzy over the tit is fine and wont kill the baby.

I agree it's unlikely to kill a baby. It may, however, stop a baby from breastfeeding.

I tried this once or twice with DS2 when he was going through a nosy stage and kept breaking off from feeding to have a look around, and he hated it. Wouldn't feed at all with his head covered, squealed and thrashed, and all in all, the "muzzy over the tit" approach drew a lot more attention to the breastfeeding than no covering at all did.

I'd be very surprised if DS2 is the only baby to ever object to attempts to feed them under a cover.

FlowersAndShit · 31/10/2015 23:11

Oh ffs. People don't want to see you with your breast out in a public place because it makes the majority (YES THE MAJORITY) of people uncomfortable. If you choose to have a baby, choose to breastfeed, and choose to do it in a public place amongst others - the least you can do is have some consideration for others and put a scarf or shawl around you to hide some of the boob. Breastfeeding is a very primal thing and it is not something to put on display, it's an intimate thing between mother and baby. If you have to do it in public then cover up, please.

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:12

If this is the case then express. Enjoy a meal without worry!

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:14

Applauds FlowersandShit!!!

BondJayneBond · 31/10/2015 23:14

If this is the case then express. Enjoy a meal without worry!

??? If what is the case?

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:17

Read what FlowersandShit just said Bond Grin

BondJayneBond · 31/10/2015 23:18

Not any clearer....

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 23:20
Grin
53rdAndBird · 31/10/2015 23:21

If this is the case then express. Enjoy a meal without worry!

If I'd done that in the early months, I would have had to express during said meal as well, to avoid ending up with yet another painful blocked duct. And I somehow don't think you'd like the sight of women using breastpumps at the table, either...

Hollyweeeen · 31/10/2015 23:22

I must have lived a very sheltered existence for I have never had someone "smash their tit in my face" Shock whilst breastfeeding their child or otherwise. In fact, I've never seen someone "flop" their breast out either. I've been around many, many breastfeeding mothers too.

I used to volunteer with teenagers who had a specific physical disability that affected their body but not their cognition or behaviour. Part of the programme was for them to be integrated into normal life. You would not believe how many members of general public asked for the teens to "sit elsewhere" (usually as a restaurant or similar) as it made them feel uncomfortable. They could have averted their eyes and problem solved but some people just like to air their views while others get on with their lives; going out to eat and feeding themselves/their children.

BondJayneBond · 31/10/2015 23:27

Yes, 53rd, I can't imagine someone who's uncomfortable with public breastfeeding being at all happy about publicly expressing breastmilk. There's a lot more breast and nipple visible when expressing milk than there is when breastfeeding. It's noisier too.

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:27

i don't talk in riddles

HA!!

Name one time on this thread you've given a proper explanation for your opinions? Even now you're posting irrelevant nonsense such as spelling mistakes, but not actually taking part in the discussion? Why are you on this thread because you just seem to be aggravating everyone who doesn't support you? I have explained why I don't believe discretion is required with BF, why haven't you put across your own argument?

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 23:28

flowers can I see your evidence that the majority of the U.K. Don't want to see BF in public? And why is it that you think people should be discreet? You also haven't given a proper explanation