to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

[Sequine]

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

Luckily in RL I have never seen it be a problem-no one objects and half the time they don't realise it is happening anyway.

Can you explain pinot how it is supportive of BF women to insist on discretion? Rather than just saying "no it's not"?

Do you really have to ask that Piper?

I dont understand why this has to be extreme.

Unless you think whilst breastfeeding its all about you.

minifingerz I like your post, says what I was thinking.

It's just a body, don't look if you don't like it.

Well of course I think my views are right. That's the point. And why should I agree with anyone else who counters my views - I don't believe BF in public should be discreet. Or should I say "no I've changed my mind" to appease you?

pinot was revolting to many members here so yes she did deserve much of it. And she refuses to explain why she thinks BF should be discreet, which you must understand is frustrating when you're having a debate.

I'm not taking the moral high ground at all. I'm just saying I wasn't alone in pouring scorn, but because mine had swear words in for some reason that means people think the sentiment is worse than the awful (but non-sweary) accusations people received from anti-BF posters. And like i say the majority deleted were from the anti-brigade, and that number could be higher - I haven't reported a single post on this thread despite being incredibly offended by many. Taking those posts into account one could argue that I have certainly not been the worst behaved poster here

All I'm hearing is "Piper your posts were awful you bully" - which people are entitled to think - but Igoing back to the OP I've yet to read an attempt from anyone to explain why they think BF in public should be discreet

Yes pinot I really have to ask as you don't seem to offer any reasoning for anything as I'm not psychic

If its "just a body" Raspberry then why the hell do you wear clothes on a really hot day in public? Go naked

*and I'm, not as I'm

She wears clothes because it's not socially cape table, or legal, to go naked. BF in public is legal and socially acceptable - even though, for some reason, you don't think the latter is true.

Gah acceptable, not cape table

Here's a very discrete breastfeeding woman, she looks really comfortable

Lots of things are legal. Discretion is thoughtful of others.

Elle, I didn't tell anyone to go searching for your previous posts, and indeed I didn't go searching myself. I'm quite sure people who have seen them will find them quite memorable, given that they were in the same unpleasantly aggressive style. And, as I said, you clearly aren't bothered about hiding your identity.

I've had this from my DF, he took us for a pub lunch and I was feeding DD2 at the table, he said "that makes me feel very uncomfortable." I pointed out that DD was having her lunch too, and would he like to eat his in a loo? Also I've never been able to express.

pinotblush
If its "just a body" Raspberry then why the hell do you wear clothes on a really hot day in public? Go naked

I have done. So that rather kills your argument.

Discretion is thoughtful of others.

I'd put feeding a baby ahead of others when that baby is hungry.

@If its "just a body" Raspberry then why the hell do you wear clothes on a really hot day in public? Go naked"

Why do you refuse to ignore the context of the act of breastfeeding?

Would you say to a woman who is OK about taking her clothes off for a medical examination: "if that doesn't bother you why not take your clothes off in front of any old stranger?"

I'm happy to breastfeed openly. I'm not happy to display my breasts in other contexts.

Interestingly, in cultures where open breastfeeding goes without comment, women are often fairly modest in their dress in other contexts.

Discretion means caring about others embarrassment. Im a woman and have the vote, doesnt mean I smash it in everyones face.

I dont want to see someones tits in public. A muzzy over the tit is fine and wont kill the baby.

What counts as indiscreet?

That attention-seeker in Chipped's photo.

HTH

Im a woman and have the vote, doesnt mean I smash it in everyones face.

What?

Pinot, you need to explain why you think it is supportive of breastfeeding to ask that it be conducted with discretion because, as others have pointed out, it implies that is is something rather shameful which has to be kept out of people's sight. You don't come on here demanding that adults carry out other lawful activities with discretion or claim that they are embarrassing you, so you clearly think that breastfeeding is different.

Discretion means caring about others embarrassment.

I thought about this claim in the context of, for instance, telling someone discreetly that they've got their skirt tucked into their knickers, which obviously is connected with embarrassment: but the point is that you are telling them that to save them embarrassment, not because you are embarrassed. Also, of course, that is something that genuinely is potentially embarrassing, whereas breastfeeding isn't. So no, that definition doesn't work, pinot.

And you still haven't explained why, if you're embarrassed, you can't just look away.

Elle, you seem to be acting under the assumption that I know perfectly well what you and others mean by 'discreet' breastfeeding, and am just acting oblivious.

I don't. I seriously have no idea.

I am genuinely asking you: what would 'discreet' breastfeeding look like? When does it cross the line into 'indiscreet'? Why are you so reluctant to explain?

(I probably still wouldn't actually care about following whatever these mystical hidden guidelines are, tbh, but I am kind of curious about whether it's something I am doing already, or whether I am one of these shameful breast-wielders you're complaining about.)

pinot at any point are you going to give reasons as to why women should BF discreetly. "I don't like it" and "they should be considerate" are not valid reasons. To make it easy I have you several options upthread

Im a woman and have the vote, doesnt mean I smash it in everyones face.

But you vote don't you without going to a private little place or wearing a blanket over your body to make sure no one k owe your a woman?