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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

861 replies

Sequine · 29/10/2015 17:29

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
kali110 · 31/10/2015 17:06

Inope they want it when theyre hurt, scRed, simply for comfort.

kali110 · 31/10/2015 17:07

Wow is it possible for touch screens to stop working as mine is seriously having errors!

53rdAndBird · 31/10/2015 17:08

You seem to give a fair amount of a crap yourself, Elle. You've been banging on about how other women are breastfeeding 'indiscreetly' (whatever it is you mean by that) for ages now, and you've spent quite a few posts describing the appearance of other women's breasts. Sounds like you care quite a lot about where/when/how people are breastfeeding, tbh.

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 17:10

Luterally no one breast feeds to make a point, they do it because their child is hungry. Where do people get this idea that women are trying to "make a point"?

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 17:12

Elle people who aren't confident about BF in public give a crap, seeing how other people fed in various public places will give them a small boost of confidence to give it a go as well. I'm not sure what kind of chip you have on your shoulder but it seems to be clouding your judgement of BF altogether

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 17:14

You're right re not just asking for boob when hungry- it's a comfort thing too, which is equally as important as nourishment

GruntledOne · 31/10/2015 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 17:22

How is announcing you managed to breastfeed halfway up a mountain going to empower the poor woman whose baby keeps slipping off the breast in Costa?

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 17:23

Gruntled, you are reported. Troll-hunting is not permitted on mumsnet.

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 17:25

Very interesting Gruntled that's made me feel a lot better knowing someone so anti-BF generally talks nonsense in other areas of their life too.

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 17:27

Elle well it probably won't as she already has the confidence to BF in public but the women who feel they can't even do it outside their home will be inspired. I didn't leave the house for 6 weeks when DD was born as I didn't think anyone BF in public, that it wasn't the "done thing", luckily MN showed me otherwise and knowing that loads of people did it made me realise it's not a big deal or something to be ashamed of

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 17:27

Thankfully your nonsense simply gets repeatedly deleted, Piper.

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 17:29

Ah, so you are the one around here with the baggage who cannot help being aggressively and emotionally invested in this discussion. Makes a lot of sense.

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 17:29

Oh the irony

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 17:30

Yeah it's not baggage though is it, baggage would be anti-BF because it didn't work out for me. Which is not the case. I learnt from an experience and hope that others aren't shamed into staying indoors. Hardly baggage. Hmm

Runningupthathill82 · 31/10/2015 17:39

Elle - not that it matters because I'm not going to change your mind, but I really, really struggled with feeding for the first 3 months. It's really fucking hard for some people and I was one of them.

Long story short is, DS was readmitted to hospital twice with weight gain problems, and I got mastitis four times which didn't help either. With formula top ups, lots of pumping round the clock and some hideous experiences trying to get milk into him with sippy cups, we got there in the end.

And then all of a sudden it went from being one of the hardest things in the world to one of the easiest. And when we were on holiday when he was five months old it had "clicked" to the point where ibcould feed him anywhere. Including halfway up a mountain.

But the reason I raised it in the first place wasn't in some weird braggy way - if you read my post in context you'll see I was making the point that babies need feeding when they're hungry. Regardless of where they are. And feeding up a mountain isn't making a fucking point, it's feeding a hungry human being in a place where there isn't much in the way of nice private locations.

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 17:42

So why not write your post thus instead of reeling off a list of what huge successes you've had?

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 17:45

Did you have issues with BF or something Elle you sound tremendously bitter and I'm trying to figure out why, this seems the best explanation to your attitude. You don't get to dictate someone else's posting style.

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 17:47

As in BF your own children (we know you have issues with BF in general).

If you are religious please refer to the image I posted of the Virgin Mary BFing Jesus. With her buzwams Hmm

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 17:49

I have been lectured persistently about my posting style and been accused of being a man!

Would you like me to report you for goading me about religious opinion expressed on other threads?

Runningupthathill82 · 31/10/2015 17:50

Elle, it clearly wasn't a list of "huge successes." I'm finding your posts really upsetting to be honest. I'm out.

PiperChapstick · 31/10/2015 17:53

Er I have no clue what you've posted on another thread, another poster claimed you're a Christian Hmm

Running I enjoyed your post ignore Elle she's clearly bitter and taking it out on you

Sighing · 31/10/2015 18:15

The onus is on the observer to not be offended. This is a good thing. If you're disapproving of breastfeeding you're merely opening your mouth away from infringing on the law. Your 'opinion' isn't for sharing with the public, you need to address a change in the law. And I'll be one of the many people who would no doubt counter a move which would be of detriment the rights of babies and mothers. Take your vile sexualised notions of women out of the public domain and let bfeeding women get on with their lawful lives.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 31/10/2015 18:21

If I'm BFing in public and anyone offers me their negative unsolicited opinion, they will get a mouthful of abuse and a lecture on the law Grin with absolutely no guilt or apology.

ElleAndAitch · 31/10/2015 18:29

Running, please let's not play all injured, eh? In your post to the person who talked about 'making a point's you listed your public breastfeeding successes with an odd flourish and finished your post in shouty and mocking capitals.

And you say you're upset!