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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

861 replies

Sequine · 29/10/2015 17:29

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
HairyLittleCarrot · 29/10/2015 22:59

Pinot : it's a private thing to do
Me: no it's not.

Your turn pinot...
(Debating for beginners)

goodnightdarthvader1 · 29/10/2015 23:00

I wish somebody would have man handled my boobs and helped me.
There was no support and I cried for days as i thought I was a failure.
There is so much support now and so there bloody well should be.
You have to be a pretty bad to object to a mum feeding her baby, anywhere she chooses.

THIS ALL THE DAY LONG starts trumpet parade

avocadoghost · 29/10/2015 23:00

pinot I've seen adults make more of a mess while eating than my baby does while feeding, and I sure as hell don't want to hear a lot of the conversations I overhear on a daily basis. But you know, I suck it up and get on with it because I'm not a fucking idiot.

I'm not going to apologise for anyone being offended by my feeding my baby in public.

I will, however, always acknowledge the kindness and good sense of those who make things that bit easier (like the member of staff in my local cafe who brought me a glass of water over and reminisced about feeding her own kids, or the manager in a Starbucks that my friend observed asking someone to leave when they kicked off about a breastfeeding mother being "disgusting" in public). Thank goodness not everyone is like you, eh.

PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 23:01

pinot it's very well saying I think it's embarrassing" and "it's private" but where's your reasoning?

SummerNights1986 · 29/10/2015 23:01

You keep trying to insinuate I have a problem with breasts

OK, REALLY NOW - take a minute and go back and read my comments from when I first posted a few minutes ago.

I honestly think you're confusing me with another poster because your replies make absolutely no sense in response to me Hmm

NewLife4Me · 29/10/2015 23:01

Sorry OP.

Congratulations. You feed baby where ever you feel fit Thanks
Good luck.

FlowersAndShit · 29/10/2015 23:02

Piper because I know that I won't be able to express my opinions without a load of emotional women losing their shit because I happen to have a different opinion to them.

pinotblush · 29/10/2015 23:03

Do I have to repeat myself. Ok then.

I think its a private matter.

There are of course environments where its fine.

I think if out in public then it shouldnt be done due to not everyone wanting to see it.

But there again I sort of go with the norm.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 29/10/2015 23:03

pinot on the name calling, I agree. I spent a while on MN not calling anyone names. It was a point of personal ethics with me. But everybody called me names left right and centre for expressing my opinion, so I decided, fuck it, if nobody else is bothering to be noble, I won't either.

FlowersAndShit · 29/10/2015 23:04

A lot of women these days lack any class and self-respect, hence the boob mafia.

Goldmandra · 29/10/2015 23:04

I think breast feeding in public is a it embarrassing.

Whoever taught you this is wrong. It was probably because they saw breast as being primarily sex objects. People who perceive them in this way need to be taught to think differently and the next generation needs to be brought up to see it as totally socially acceptable to bf wherever, whenever and however it suits the mother and child.

BFing isn't embarrassing. It's just the same as giving a baby a bottle.

The only thing that's embarrassing is when people get all funny about it because they can't get over their perception of breasts a sex toys. Now that I do find odd and awkward.

pinotblush · 29/10/2015 23:05

I've done it too as im sure most of us have goodnight :)

PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 23:05

So you further irritate them? Your opinion is backed up with nonsensical reasoning. Saying "ooh you emotional women" is horribly sexist and draconian. This is a debate. No one is getting emotional. Here's a tip - picture us as being men, maybe that will work for you?

minifingerz · 29/10/2015 23:06

"I think breast feeding in public is a it embarrassing."

Maybe don't do it then.

Other people aren't embarrassed by it, like the OP, so it's fine for her to do it.

lieselvontwat · 29/10/2015 23:06

Hey flowers, have you managed to comprehend yet that loads of the people who can see how stupid you sound are not breastfeeders, and in a few cases not even women?

pinotblush · 29/10/2015 23:08

No-one taught me it was wrong? I just know that its not applicable in certain circumstances and places due to others embarrassment. A breast feeding mother doesnt take priority.

RufusTheReindeer · 29/10/2015 23:08

sequine

If you're still reading this you should feed your baby whereever you want

A glimpse of boob wont kill anyone

good

Pretty positive i manhandled my friends boob when she was trying to feed Grin she was so desparate and it is really hard trying to explain verbally

Ds1 didnt breast feed for ages, at that point anyone could have grabbed my tits...as long as they got him to feed i could give a shit!!

PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 23:08

pinot WHY is it embarrassing or private?? Why is this so hard for you to answer? And your opinion is most certainly not the norm. If it was there wouldn't be laws to protect BF mums. It's like saying homophobia or racism is the norm

DoodleCat · 29/10/2015 23:08

Hee hee pinot you're very funny. You do like winding people up don't you. I absolutely agree with you, a mother feeding a child is very private. From now on I shall only feed my 3 year old & 6 month old at home - milk, solids or otherwise- because feeding is private. Gosh, how right you are. I feel awful now that I helped my 3 year old eat his chicken yesterday in public. How embarrassing for other people.

Oh, this thread has made me chuckle.

RufusTheReindeer · 29/10/2015 23:09

pinot

A breastfeeding baby does

PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 23:09

flowers are you gonna give good reasons for your beliefs or are you just gonna randomly insult the female race?

goodnightdarthvader1 · 29/10/2015 23:09

I just know that its not applicable in certain circumstances and places due to others embarrassment. A breast feeding mother doesnt take priority.

Ugh, I'm going to bed.

FlowersAndShit · 29/10/2015 23:10

A breast feeding mother doesnt take priority.

A FUCKING MEN! Grin

Have some dignity, class, self-respect and manners. You feed your baby in public = you be discreet about it.

pinotblush · 29/10/2015 23:11

are you for real there doodle?

PiperChapstick · 29/10/2015 23:11

A breast feeding mother doesnt take priority.

A baby does though.