to breastfeed in public even though DH is uncomfortable with it and thinks I should find somewhere private?

[Sequine]

DS is 7weeks. He often struggles to latch and slips off repeatedly during a feed, so I dislike feeding under a shawl and find it hard to be discreet, as I need to keep reattaching him. I wear wrap dresses so I can just pull dress and bra down at one side. I don't really care if anyone sees my breast and don't feel the need to hide away in a corner or find a baby changing room for privacy. I've BF in the middle of Costa, in restaurants, in clothes shops and in a furniture shop, also in GP waiting room and in the back of a taxi as DS was crying and hungry. However, DH thinks BF should be a private thing and thinks I should either feed under a shawl or take a bottle of expressed milk. He said not to be surprised if shop manager asks me to feed elsewhere. My BF support group all say they feed anywhere and are against shawls as they think it makes BF out to be something obscene.
What do others think? Would you be offended by someone BF a small baby without a shawl? Are there places where its inappropriate to BF?

Who takes priority over the need of a tiny baby to feed in the way it finds most comfortable?

You? Your need not to see something you don't like?

Yup - that says heaps about your values.

Breastfeeding mothers do take priority, actually. As I explained upthread, if you're the sort of loser who can't cope with the sight of uncovered public breastfeeding, your options are shut up or fuck off.

pinot absolutely! I think you are hilarious.

Pinot
You are deluded. The norm is to mind ones own business and respect other people's rights.
Oh, and to respect the law.

You're not the norm. Thankfully.

why is this about men? its about everyone. very strange.

You feed your baby in public = you be discreet about it.

But why? Give a good reason.

Note to self: eating is private. But only involving children. Cancel lunch date with friend and toddler tomorrow as it's something to be done indoors.

Seriously flowers you can't see how what you're asking bfers to do is exactly the same as you eating with a blanket on your head?

i dont want to be a public with tits out. simple. Discreet, ok.

twat No they do not. Just because someone decides to breed, doesn't mean they are more important. Have some dignity and manners fgs. Shame on you.

I almost missed this!!

A lot of women these days lack any class and self-respect, hence the boob mafia.

Hear that my friends. It's not ladylike for us to stand up for our baby's right to feed when they want and our right to get on with out normal lives.

That's one of the most insidious woman hating sentiments I've ever heard Flowers. I invite you to take a good hard look at yourself.

Pinot, are you really making a case that people's right not to be offended by the sight of others engaging perfectly harmless and intrinsically decent behaviour (like breastfeeding, or same sex couples holding hands) takes precedent over other people's human right to freely engage in normal life?

I dont understand why i have to give a reason. I just dont like it. I dont like the way that breast feeding women think its their right to be so damn pious about others not liking it.

I'll just leave these here

I'm probably wasting my breath here, but most women I see breastfeeding in public are already being discreet about it.

Usually - unless you happen to glance over as the baby is latching on or coming off the breast - there is very little to see other than the back of the baby's head. All these people fretting about seeing a bit of exposed breast have probably wandered past plenty of breastfeeding babies without even noticing it.

If seeing that tiny bit of breast is really a problem, then goodness only knows how they cope if they go to a swimming pool or the beach, or even happen to see a lingerie catalogue or a scantily clad woman on the front of a magazine in the newsagents.

And even if the breastfeeding mother isn't being discreet enough for your liking, then yes, just don't look. No-one's forcing anyone else to watch them breastfeeding. The baby's need to be fed trumps other people's desire to not see the baby feeding.

I don't see how feeding your baby is necessarily private.
It can be, obviously, like bedtime and night feeds etc.
This whole debate sounds bizarre to me, and having not really looked at these threads before I'm surprised tbh.

Yes flowers they do, because that's what the law says. Your desire not to see women breastfeed in public ranks below women's desire to do it. Basically they outrank you. And brush up on your comprehension, I formula feed because I don't want to breastfeed. I have enough manners to keep my views off other women's bodies though, unlike certain incredibly rude individuals.

pinot you still aren't giving reason for how you feel? Why exactly don't you want to see it? What's your problem with breasts? You're terrible at debating!

Just because someone decides to breed, doesn't mean they are more important.

Well that's good then as a breastfeeding baby hasn't bred yet, making their rights more important, no? You know their right to actually feed, one of the only things they need in their life.

If it was just so accepted then there wouldnt be a problem would there.

I think its a private thing to do.

I dont want to see it when Im out at a dinner table.

I dont want to see it when im purchasing something from argos.

I dont want to see it when Im waiting for a bus.

Its private!

You're allowed not to give a reason pinot, its just that if you will insist on spouting your drivel people are going to call you on it.

I just know that its not applicable in certain circumstances and places due to others embarrassment.

The embarrassment of others is never a reason not to BF. In fact it is a very good reason to BF.

For the sake of future babies, those people who are embarrassed need to become desensitised by seeing people BFing as much as possible. Then they are less likely to pass on their prejudices to their children. That way, it will, eventually, naturally become accepted by all members of society.

Anyone who feels embarrassed by looking at someone else's boob has a thousand other places to look. If they continue to look, that is because they are choosing to do so and must accept the consequential embarrassment as it is of their own making.

"A lot of women these days lack any class and self-respect, hence the boob mafia."

Yes - the Virgin Mary, to be seen in images showing her openly breastfeeding the infant Christ. Images generally hung in churches and public buildings.

The dirty, dirty woman. No class!

i don't understand why I have to give a reason

Because you chose to join this debate - no one asked you to - and have been unable to back up your opinions with reason or logic. When people spout such utter tripe it peaks the curiosity of others. Do I really have to tell you that?

There isn't a problem pinot. Women get to breastfeed in public as indiscreetly as they like, and you have to put up with living in a society where their wants are more important than yours. No issue with that situation at all. Your impotent whining is nothing.

"Its private!"

For you.

Not for other people.

Your personal feelings about breastfeeding don't take precedence over other people's need to feed their baby as and when they feel necessary.

I dont like the way that breast feeding women think its their right to be so damn pious about others not liking it.

You have the right not to like it. However, there are consequences of you expressing your dislike so forcefully on a public forum. It has a detrimental impact on mothers deciding whether to breastfeed or not. Not everyone is strong enough to say 'I don't give a fuck what Pinot thinks'.

There are still many barriers to breastfeeding, rates are not what they should be, it's a wider public health issue.

You being vocal about your dislike contributes to the problem.

Why is it private? Why can't you answer that? "I don't want to see it" is not an answer. You're just embarrassing yourself