Earlier this year, in April, I went to a friend's band's gig with some friends. Friends were two couples - I know the first couple pretty well and the other was a friend I've known from school but not been particularly close to and her husband who I have only met on a handful of occasions. (Let's call this second couple Sarah and Dave.) My then eighteen year old daughter and her boyfriend also came.
A couple of days after the event, my daughter rang me to tell me that she thought that Dave had been acting in a sleazy way towards her. The dancefloor had been completely jampacked but dd thought that Dave had been trying to manoeuvre his way so that he was dancing way too close to her in a way she wasn't comfortable with. And that his whole attitude had been kind of sleazy. She had mentioned it to her boyfriend the next day but then had put it out of her head because there was nothing definite she could put her finger on and she had been quite drunk so thought she might have misinterpreted.
However, after the event she received several friend requests from Dave via social media. That's when she rang me to say "Is this weird?" and told me about Dave's behaviour on the gig night. I agreed that it was totally bloody weird and inappropriate and wrong. She decided she would just ignore/block the friend requests and would let me know if he tried to contact her again which he hasn't.
I haven't seen Sarah and Dave since then. (I didn't go to a gig a few months ago when I realised that Sarah and Dave would be the only people I knew there.)
I have spoken to a couple of mutual friends about it. The first was outraged on dd's behalf, the second (part of the other couple from the gig) kind of tried to minimise it. I don't know if it is relevant but Dave is quite a bit younger than his wife - still closer in age to me than my daughter but probably not that much in it.
I did wonder if I should contact Sarah to let her know but have taken the coward's way out and not done anything.
The thing is, I have a party this weekend which I hold every year. Sarah and Dave have come for the last 4 years or so. I haven't invited them this year. I have no problem with Sarah but I definitely do not want to invite Dave into my house.
I totally believe my dd when she thought that Dave was acting inappropriately. Women know when they're being sleazed over. He was probably drunk too, but the whole thing kind of horrifies me. Not only was his wife and dd's boyfriend (and mother!) there, I think my friends and their partners should be like aunties and uncles to my daughter. She has plenty of people on hitting on her in pubs and clubs. When she's out with her mum's friends she should be safe from that sort of thing.
Should I have let Sarah know about this? Should I email her to let her know why she's not been invited? Other people at the party might well ask whether they're coming or mention it to her (they've shared lifts with other friends in previous years). Pictures will probably go up on FB after the event. If other people ask, I don't want to be all "because I don't like Dave" and start gossiping about them, particularly if Sarah has no idea. Maybe she knows her husband in sleazy when drunk, maybe it was a one-off. I assume, without any other kind of evidence, most wives would dismiss this.
Am I being a terrible coward about this whole thing, basically? I'm basically ignoring it. AIBU to do so?