to think that after 20 years, MiL should stop being such a dick and accept me?

[Tinklewinkle]

MiL doesn't like me. I don't know why, I've always been nice to her, organise flowers for Mother's Day, send Christmas/birthday cards, email photos of the kids, etc, etc. Normal stuff, I do the same for her as I do for my own family.

She phoned at the weekend to speak to DH, apparently she wants a 'family only' Christmas this year, so she has invited DH and our kids. I am obviously not considered her 'family' as I am specifically excluded from the invite. She wants them to travel up Christmas Eve and stay over until Boxing Day

DH just said "er...no, of course not" and now she's having a strop about never getting to see her family at Christmas, etc, etc.

This isn't the first time she's done something like this, and it won't be the last. DH bollocks her, she goes off in a huff then comes back with something else

I found her quite hurtful, but I'm now at the point where don't actually care if she likes me or not. We live 200 miles away, she's not on my door step so I kind of grit my teeth, make polite chit chat and get on with my life, but honestly we've been together 20 years, marred for 15 with 14 and 10 year old daughters, get over it already!

This isn't the first time she's done something like this, and it won't be the last.

I would like to hear more!

Op are you me in about 15 years?

Mil told me on Christmas last year that she didn't consider me to be family anymore. On Christmas morning. while I was 12500 miles away from home and my family -with dh. Visiting her.

I've not forgiven her for that. And I doubt I ever will.

I've told dh I'll never spend Christmas with her over there again.

She's invited dh to stay this year for Christmas. He's declined and she's kicked off.

We both know that there'll be some emergency come January that he'll have to fly over for - last minute flight to NZ not cheap- and by the time he gets there she'll have made a miraculous recovery.

she sounds terrible .obviously you would not leave your own children at christmas or any other event .the only thing i agree with is you are not her family because even after 27 years i dont think of my inlaws as my family .hubbys and sons yes mine no .just be thankful you dont have to go see her every week knowing she dislikes you like like mine

I like MILs use of the term 'family only', as if you're just something the cat coughed up

My mum invited my PILs my dhs brothers, and one of my daughters, to her Christmas do.

I think that's a bit off.

Please just all stop doing things for your vile MILs! Let their darling sons deal with presents. They'll soon realise how little contact they'll actually get without you.

I don't do presents for DHs family. He does. The only time I have bought a present for MIL was her 60th where I bought her something from me because I wanted to (her sons bought her an actifry. ... she asked for it). And I adore my in laws.

piglit I've stopped. Dh now has to remember to Skype her once a week (her request. He's managed about once every month since the beginning of the year). He's responsible for presents for birthdays Christmas Mother's Day etc. Mother's Day he forgot. NZ Mother's Day he forgot (it was going to be the back up for the uk one) and he forgot to send her 60th present in time.

We argued about this one. But I pointed out that if I'm not family I'm not responsible for making sure things get sent.

Christmas should be interesting....

And I dread to think what'll happen if we have babies.