I had a half decent job (HCA), where I had to do 3 different shifts.
Whilst on maternity leave, my partner ended our relationship and started drinking heavily. So, me going back to my job, while he did the child care was no longer an option.
So, I became self employed, working from home. I am also a carer for my adult son. He has regular crises, often in the early hours. This usually involves talking him down over the phone, sometimes for hours. I simultaneously cope, all alone, with a 5 year old who wakes up to 6x nightly. I have to sleep on his bedroom floor, as he just senses if I leave the room and wakes up hysterical.
My business was never going to work. I was one of those single parents bought a printer by my lone parent advisor, and persuaded that I could make it work. I couldn't. Most months I lived on the tax credits.
So, I claimed Income Support, temporarily.
I want to go back to work, but try finding a child minder to take a non sleeping 5 year old, overnight, for 1 week in 3!
I've trawled the agencies. Most local ones were set up by and for Eastern Europeanfinancial migrants. I never got a look in.
My son's employer has vacancies - zero hours contracts, hours often texted the previous evening.
A local after school club collects from my son's school, but can't offer ad hoc places at short notice, so I would need to pay whether he was there or not, then pay alternative child care for the awkward shifts, assuming, of course I could find an overnight child minder.
When my other son was at secondary school, my brother would stay over, with his little one when I was on nights. This cost me a takeaway for them both, plus a couple of beers for him. So, on weeks where I did 3 consecutive nights, I was out of pocket, as he was not registered, so the childcare element of tax credits didn't apply. I
I also had a car, then. I don't now, and I can't afford to buy one out of my Income Support, never mind run one.
Even when my older boy was 10, and we were in a homeless hostel and I was working 2 jobs for the same employer, sometimes racking up 80 hours a week, including sleeping nights, it just covered the rent on the hostel, and the cost of running the car. Community care workers have to be car owners/drivers, so I can't go back to that. I used to cycle to my now grown up son's nursery, with him in a seat, then to my morning cleaning job, then up to an industrial estate to my 'school hours' job - around 50 miles a week. At 47, malnourished and with my knees and hips knackered, I just can't do that, now.
I want to work. In fact, I have to work, as my little one it's now 5, so my Income Support will stop very soon.
I can't see a way out. My only 'help' is my adult 'aspie', who never knows what hours he is doing, due to his zero hours contract. His MH crises are also unpredictable - and exhausting for us both. I suspect that SS would take a dim view of my 5 year old being in the care of his suicidal brother. As they would have done, had the hostel manager reported me 10 years ago, when I was leaving him with the woman in the room opposite, or her for leaving her daughter with me while she worked, or was called out, at midnight, as the key holder to the 'bookies' she worked at.
There are so many obstacles that wouldn't even occur to people who have regular hours/a partner/a car/ family support.
I have no TV, no internet and I only get dressed if I'm going out, due to being down to just 2 sets of clothes that haven't yet fallen apart, and aren't hanging off due to the stone and a half I've lost in the past year (without trying). My hair is a mess, my nails are bitten down to the quick. I'm scruffy.
I have no TV, no internet just a crappy phone (which is why I can't check before posting, so please excuse typos and rambling, as I can only see 4 lines at a time!).
All suggestions gratefully received :)