To teach my children that sometimes you give up

[Shazziedazzie]

Why are some people so keen on "never giving up" and its so important to teach your children to never give up?

Sometimes giving up is the best thing to do and its wasting time and preventing progression by continuing. I've given up on jobs and relationships many times, was totally the right idea. If anything I should of given up on them sooner!

ThenLater yes, that's exactly what I meant and I put it down to fat fingers on my phone keyboard.

I actually assumed that the comment was supposed to be funny. I do happen to be a grammar pedant, I hope I wouldn't be rude when doing it. Either way, whether it be grammar or something else MNHQ deleting comments sets a rather dangerous precedent.

Disappointed, hanging about on threads correcting other people's grammar errors doesn't make you a 'linguist' it makes you a petty minded arse.

How does that help when general standards are so shockingly low?

It. Doesn't. Matter. It's an anonymous internet forum people post on for help and advice.

Why don't you come over and introduce yourself?

You might learn something.

I use rule of fifty. Do something for 50 hours/days/minutes/attempts/years and then evaluate keep going or move on. I sometimes think so many of the teachings of my youth, like 'never give up', were created by a*holes to make everything seem impossible, and to enable them to keep their privileged position and feel superior. Apologies

ThenLater I'm sorry, introduce myself to who?

Whats with the obsession with grammar btw? As an ex teacher I couldn't care less about the grammar people use on an internet forum. Some of us had a great education , some of us didn't. I am not going to make posters feel bad because of it. I'm not marking their homework and there aren't children on here who need to learn grammar basics. Plus now I am in the corporate world, the grammar that routinely goes into external/internal emails and client presentations is appalling - and its written by educated Public School boys who dont take kindly to the educated PA correcting it. They put it back the way it was!

Pedants' Corner I'd imagine.

This is an Internet forum, it should not be the responsibility of MNHQ to police opinions.

Likewise it shouldn't be the responsibility of MN members to police the spelling and grammar in people's posts.

Some people are always in such a rush to point out people's errors. Such a rush to make themselves look like an arse.

'Never giving up' is a bad thing to teach.

Discretion is the better part of valour.

Sometimes it is better to make a tactical retreat to live to fight another day, and win the war, rather than just trying to win every battle.

If you learn something from the experience, then you have achieved. If you don't learn from banging your head against a brick wall, then you haven't necessarily won.

The perfect example is the climber who wants to conquer the mountain.

He could keep going at all costs to reach the top. He reaches the top of the mountain but dies on the descent. And therein lies the issue. What's the point in getting to the top if you don't live to tell the tell for the rest of your life? He leaves his wife and child behind, in his recklessness and single-mindedness to achieve his goal without releasing that life isn't always about a single goal. Does that make him a success for reaching the top of the mountain or a failure for not getting down and not being there for his family?

Ultimately life is about balance. If you have the opportunity and the ability to pursue your dreams then that's great, but you should always consider whether doing it to the exclusion of all other things, comes at a cost and is that price worth paying?

and how is making this thread like swiss cheese due to deletions better than just having a Hide Poster option?

A Hide Poster option would be fabulous.

I wasn't talking to you Scarlet, I was talking to DO.

I agree that HQ finally beginning to deal with grammar bullies sets a precedent. And not before time. Many of us have been pressuring them to do so for quite a few years.

Because "hide poster" would need to be put into action by an OP who has probably crept off quietly after having been made to feel like a bag of shit because some smartarses think it's funny to criticise her use of language. By deleting the arsewit comments HQ are showing they aren't going to stand for it any longer.

Good post sazzle, I agree completely.

I know it "makes people's teeth itch" to see incorrect grammar, even on a chat forum, the spag corrections make mine itch. What is even more annoying is that they hide pretence that they're helping, what utter bullshit, they're just getting they're rocks off by putting people down on the Internet.

My spag is shit, I lurked on here for ages because I was worried about being pulled apart for it. I did have a decent education - sort of. I hardly went to school for a while though as I was bullied horribly. I don't necessarily think that's the reason why my spag is shit, I think I just don't get it unless I really think about it, I forget the rules and just blurb out what I mean to say.
Although it might be why I hate the way some posters correct others grammar on here.
If I can understand posts with incorrect grammar, why can't the highly educated grammarists.

I think there's a middle ground between sticking with something to the end or giving up early. I think it's useful to teach children to re-assess the situation after they 'fail' to achieve something. If you gather up new information that you didn't know beforehand, and then consider what could be done differently and use that to decide whether it's worth another attempt or whether it's more cost effective to stop (cost in this case could be anything, money, effort, emotional stress, time, losing an opportunity to do something else).

I don't agree. I think that having moderator who can delete posts because they don't agree with the tone of them is very big-brother-y.

Ah see, I used the wrong their , proof that I am too thick for MN, and bringing the precious demographic down.

*moderators. Sorry ??

MNHQ delete posts all the time for a wide range of reasons. Other websites are available.

This thread has got way out of hand - and shame on Mumsnet for deleting posts which might upset someone! Really! You're going to be very busy if that's your policy now.

FWIW I verbally spoke out against Disappointed One but really this is completely uncalled for.

You are so right Squoosh. For me this is the last straw.

Blimey - OP do you want to start another thread where people answer the actual question? All the pedants would be marked down in an English exam for deviation from the topic.

It is such an interesting question. I don't think we should teach our children to give up as such, but instead teach them they are allowed to change their mind. There's such an important distinction between giving up on something because it seems too hard and giving up on something because you genuinely no longer have any desire to pursue it.

it's incredibly hard to know the difference. I desperately wanted to give up on a work project last year. It had poor leadership and was beyond me. But DC were so proud of me for getting it. The only thing that kept me from quitting was the thought of their faces when I explained I'd failed. Now the worst is past and it's on track. I'm so glad I stuck with it. I wanted to give up because it was so hard and I was so sure I couldn't do it. But by sticking with it, I discovered I could, and that was a huge career breakthrough.

I think we need first to teach them that any thing worth doing is hard at times: sports, music, exam grades, and not to assume that it comes naturally to the successful ones. If they want to get good at stuff, encourage them to put the hours in and find their grit when they fail. But if they really dislike something, and have done their best to improve it, then learning to walk away is OK.

It is an interesting parenting question and has made me think so thank's OP.

It. Doesn't. Matter.

It does, sort of. Every time a blatant error appears on a highly public forum like this one, especially in the opening post which everyone reads, it reinforces the belief that it's correct. That wouldn't matter except for the fact that this is a parenting forum and all our children (or at least those in the UK) are currently being taught under an educational regime which puts heavy emphasis on spelling and grammar. Therefore it's in all our interests to be able to help our children, which won't happen if we think wording which is blatantly wrong is in fact OK.

I would accept absolutely that MN should delete when people are making similar comments on sensitive threads, but I really can't see how this one qualifies. There is also a serious question as to why MN will delete a fairly light-hearted correction to "should of" but won't deleted considerably more aggressive posts telling OPs that they sound hard work, or entitled, or bullying, or vile - and we all know these are regularly left to stand. Indeed, I've reported that type of post myself and been told by MN that they don't contravene its policies. Are they seriously trying to tell us that that type of post is more acceptable than a grammar correction?

As I've said, what really irritates me about these posts is that they are regarded by so many people as a green light to derail the thread as they leap with glee and massive self-righteousness to condemn and vilify the poster in question, to the extent of repeating what dozens of people have already said; and that's the main reason why I sit on my hands when I see an error that makes me cringe. But when the derailing has already happened then I see no point in censoring the original post.