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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

hurt on behalf of my niece re using same name

83 replies

cansantabuildsnowmen · 26/10/2015 16:02

My cousin had a baby last week on my nieces birthday. They named her a different name to my niece but both will go by the same short version. Think Isabel and Belinda both going by Bel. Both children are unlikely to ever meet, we aren't close to cousins but we are a tiny family. There are now 15 of us total so whilst they wont grow up together its very obvious they have the same name. Cousin has made it clear the new baby will be called by the short name.

What is upsetting us is my niece isn't biologically my brothers nor are my brother and nieces mum married however they've been together 8 years and my niece was 3 when they got together. In that time my auntie has had 4 grandchildren and we've always sent birthday cards, bought Christmas presents for the kids and my niece has had nothing from my auntie or that side of the family. It makes me wonder if they would have used this name if my niece was biologically my brothers. Aibu to be upset over all this

OP posts:
LadyLonely1 · 26/10/2015 16:05

I can't understand what exactly you are upset about? Two completely different names and children who are unlikely to grow up together, can't see what the issue is.

coconutpie · 26/10/2015 16:05

YABU. You aren't even close to these cousins! You are being massively unreasonable.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 26/10/2015 16:05

YAB totally U and reading far too much into it imo.

They are using a different name, just the shortened version that's the same.

Even if it was the same name there are thousands of people with that name in the world.

oldspeckledtam · 26/10/2015 16:05

Short version, yes I think yabu. You've said yourself the children aren't likely to meet and I think you are massively overthinking the biological child aspect. It's most likely that they just like the name!

LittleRedSparke · 26/10/2015 16:05

"Both children are unlikely to ever meet, we aren't close to cousins"

so they have a similar name, its not even worth worrying about

mayaknew · 26/10/2015 16:06

I understand what you're saying regarding presents etc. It's the acknowledgement or lack of, of the child in the family.

What does your nieces parents think?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 26/10/2015 16:08

You are giving this far too much head space and causing yourself unnecessary upset.

Let it go.

Arfarfanarf · 26/10/2015 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Seriouslyffs · 26/10/2015 16:10

Oh don't encourage her maya
If ever I post such a 'looking for trouble mindless post' I hope I get roundly called on it.
Give your head a wobble OP and snap out of it.

Lunastarfish · 26/10/2015 16:11

I really don't understand why you're the one upset Confused. I could understand if your brother or his partner was upset and posting but why does it matter to you?

Coconutty · 26/10/2015 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
cansantabuildsnowmen · 26/10/2015 16:15

The full name is different but my niece only ever gets asked the short version and when cousin announced the birth she announced it as baby bel is here, my mum asked her sister so grandma of baby if it was short for anything and we were told the full name but that she'll ho by the short name so basically they have the same name. As for not close, my mum and her sister are close its just my cousin doesn't make any effort to see us, we don't socialise with them other than Christmas, my nieces parents aren't happy either.

OP posts:
x2boys · 26/10/2015 16:18

i have a 70,s double barrell name say sarah -jane and one of my many cousins is called say sarah we saw each other twice a year tops as children it wasnt an issue ! a cousin on my mothers has a daugher called 'sarah' also i have met the child [ well shes about sixteen now] maybe three times in her life honestly its not worth bothering about!

LadyLonely1 · 26/10/2015 16:19

Even more of a non issue. I still can't understand what the problem is? Do you want only your niece to have the short name?

TheMshipIsBack · 26/10/2015 16:19

Sorry, totally derailing, but I had to laugh at "baby bel" because ... cheese.

EastMidsMummy · 26/10/2015 16:20

YABU.

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 26/10/2015 16:21

It's just a name though. They haven't stolen it... your brother and his partner don't own the rights to it. I don't understand the angst.

OurBlanche · 26/10/2015 16:22

Oh stop it! There are 2 of me in our family, we are cousins and the other one is a boy! Same name different spelling. We have never lived all that close, only one set of grandparents had a pfaff, and they knew who they meant every time they referred to either of us In the long run, no one will really care.

Now, give yourself permission to disengage from this. It is a non problem that you had no hand in causing!

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 26/10/2015 16:23

Why aren't they happy?

It really is a non issue.

Your cousin just gave birth to a healthy baby, all is well, and you are all bitching because the shortened version of her name is the same as your nieces instead of being happy for her. I can see why she maybe doesn't choose to socialise with you all if you are all so self absorbed.

Utterlyclueless · 26/10/2015 16:23

YABVU I don't understand why you're upset she is going to meet other people with the same/similar name so it doesn't matter that these two who will never meet have the same/similar name.

x2boys · 26/10/2015 16:25

also my sister named her son the same name as one of our other cousins as she liked the name and another cousin [ i have many] named her son the same name as yet another cousin as presumably she liked the name too i really dont understand why you are upset.

Axekick · 26/10/2015 16:25

I am really trying to see this from your PoV. But I can't see the problem

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 26/10/2015 16:25

And tbh I'd be annoyed at you for making the birth of Babybel all about you and your brother.

Wigglebummunch31 · 26/10/2015 16:28

I don't get the problem about the name but I would be upset about not getting a card for her birthday.

Twitterqueen · 26/10/2015 16:28

I gave my daughter the same name as my cousin because I liked it.

I don't get your problem OP - you are making a fuss over nothing.