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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed with all the people on FB thanking God for 'miracle' recoveries

211 replies

bumbleymummy · 25/10/2015 20:14

Another one tonight where a boy's church are thanking God for him being found cancer free and thanking everyone for their prayers to make this possible. Lots of comments thanking God and Jesus and praise for how wonderful and gracious He is. Not a single mention of the doctors, surgeons, nurses etc who played a much more obvious role in his recovery! Angry

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 25/10/2015 21:02

People have even asked me, 'Had she lived you'd think differently.' Um, well, she didn't, fucker, she died.

bumbleymummy · 25/10/2015 21:14

I often wonder about those things myself hidden.

Expat, I don't even know what to say to that. Some people just baffle me.

OP posts:
LeaLeander · 25/10/2015 21:21

I always wonder why those people aren't asking God to just wipe out cancer and other plagues in the first place instead of "curing" people, or not, on a case-by-case basis....

A quote I read somewhere goes like this:

“Either God can do nothing to stop catastrophes like this, or he doesn't care to, or he doesn’t exist. God is either impotent, in which case he's not God, or evil, or imaginary. Take your pick."

Excited101 · 25/10/2015 21:28

YANBU

DioneTheDiabolist · 25/10/2015 21:28

YABU OP. If you read people's posts on FB, they're eventually going to annoy you. Block them if you don't like what they post. Or question them and challenge them if you think they have done something wrong.

BrightonMum36 · 25/10/2015 21:32

I completely agree it drives me fucking nuts. Remember when that footballer Muamba had a heart attack on the pitch and the doctors, nurses and surgeons worked for hours to save him, and did eventually. All those people working their asses off for years to help people in their hour of need... And who does he come out and public ally thank? God. Well if thats who you want to help you next time and not the medical staff you won't be alive again to thank anyone again you fool.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 25/10/2015 21:37

YANBU

When both of my children were dying and the doctors had tried everything I tried praying, I would have tried anything, they still died. Why would a god save some and not others, and why would a god let children suffer? Its a crock of shit, I found that out the fucking hard way.

KatieLatie · 25/10/2015 21:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 25/10/2015 21:39

Oh and the doctors were amazing with my children. My daughters doctor put his retirement back by a week for us so he could see her through until the end, she was his last patient. I'll be forever grateful to the doctors for all they did.

Rinceoir · 25/10/2015 21:40

I am a HCP, it doesn't bother me if people thank god. I don't expect thanks from patients/their families (although it is of course nice).

southeastastra · 25/10/2015 21:40

hi expat, i was asking after you the other day, always enjoyed your posts x

myotherusernameisbetter · 25/10/2015 21:43
bumbleymummy · 25/10/2015 21:48

Dione. This is a post that some of my friends 'liked' so it just comes up on my feed through that.

Elsa Thanks I'm so sorry :(

Katie, again, I'm not criticising people for praying or having faith. I know it can be a huge comfort to them.

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 25/10/2015 21:56

Can you not challenge your friends about "liking" such a status Bumbley?

ComposHatComesBack · 25/10/2015 22:29

Well the hospital staff wouldn't see it would they?

Is the Almighty on Facebook now? I always thought when people said God is my friend or I have a friend in Jesus, they were talking figuratively not bragging about famous mates on FB.

zeezeek · 25/10/2015 22:41

I had cancer nearly 30 years ago. At one point it was touch and go whether I would survive, but I did. It had nothing to do with God or prayers and my survival wasn't a miracle - it was just a good combination of chemo and surgery and being diagnosed at an early stage which meant that the tumour hadn't had time to metastasize too far.

myotherusernameisbetter · 25/10/2015 22:47

Btw, god is on Facebook. He's quite funny.

EastMidsMummy · 25/10/2015 22:52

If God's so good at healing things, how come he never grows anyone's arms or legs back if they lose them in an accident?

LucyBabs · 25/10/2015 22:52

Why ae people taking offence? The op and others are not criticising those that have faith!

I don't care what you believe in but the only fact i know is that God does not cause or cure cancer, he can't because he doesn't exist

lougle · 25/10/2015 22:54

I think that part of faith is thanking God for the skill of the incredible staff who do their best to bring loved ones through these terrible illnesses.

I can't answer the question of why some do survive after prayer and some don't survive despite fervent prayer. I don't think it can be answered.

This thread must be very painful for some to read though [sad!]

tiggytape · 25/10/2015 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EastMidsMummy · 25/10/2015 23:00

I can't answer the question of why some do survive after prayer and some don't survive despite fervent prayer. I don't think it can be answered.

It's really easy to answer: Prayer makes no difference, so those who were going to survive survive anyway and those who weren't don't.

Happy to help.

lougle · 25/10/2015 23:01

I don't think that's true, but thanks for sharing. Smile

GruntledOne · 25/10/2015 23:15

This reminds me of that incident when that plane hit a flock of birds but the pilot managed to guide it into a landing on the Hudson river and everyone survived. I saw so many comments on social media and newspaper websites claiming that God must have guided the plane down, even a cartoon showing him doing so. None of those people gave the pilot credit for doing an incredible job, nor did it apparently occur to them that if God was that bothered about the plane he would have prevented the birdstrike in the first place. Nor could they explain why he would decide to save that plane whilst leaving numerous others to crash disastrously.

manicinsomniac · 25/10/2015 23:26

YABVVU

My Dad died of cancer when I was quite young. I, my family and friends and church prayed long and hard for him. He didn't recover.

That in no way negates either the experiences of the people who have recovered or have had loved ones recover against the odds or the peace and comfort it brought him and us in his final weeks.

My Dad had his first cancer diagnosis 8 years before he died. We were told no hope without a bone marrow transplant. A match could not be found. Then suddenly it was. The operation went ahead and he was discharged long before doctors thought he should even be on his feet. They couldn't understand how quickly he got well. He didn't look back for 7.5 years. I can't say my faith wasn't massively shaken when his cancer came back so aggressively and terminally long after the 5 year 'safe remission' cut off and he died within weeks. But during those extra 7 years he saw both myself and my younger sister turn 18, 21 and graduate from university and he saw the birth and first few years of my oldest daughter. I try to see those 'bonus' years as God given and I know he did. I remember asking him a few days before he died if he was scared of dying. He looked at me, smiled and said 'of course not. What's to be afraid of? God's looked after me for 50 years, he isn't going to stop now.' He said he was only afraid that we would stop trusting God and wouldn't let Him comfort and look after us. I have tried so hard not to do that. It's not easy and sometimes I get so confused and angry when I hear of other people's miraculous recoveries. But then I look back over my family's experience and see the ways God was with us, even though it didn't end in a miraculous recovery for us. Things like my grandparents making it to the hospital from the other end of the country just in time for my Dad to be able to recognise them and smile at them and the endless spiritual, emotional and physical support we had from those around us, both Christian and not.

I don't and never will understand why some prayers are answered and others are not. But that cannot make me stop seeing or accepting the miracles that do take place.

A friend from my church had a suspected broken hand last week, 3 days before an important piano recital. She woke up on the morning of the concert with pain gone and no swelling, just a small bruise. There is no serious importance to that healing. It mattered to her but it wasn't life and death. Just a small, inexplicable blessing for her.

Much more significantly a mother from a church I went to years ago and a toddler from the church I currently attend experienced spontaneous and supposedly impossible remission from terminal cancer. Not a slow healing process, a very sudden 'I'm sorry, the tumors are too large/aggressive to treat' to 'there are no longer any tumors showing' type recovery.

But alongside that, in the church I grew up in there is a family where the Dad died of a brain tumor aged 55 one year and the 25 year old engaged daughter died of breast cancer the next year. There is another family where the 5 year old daughter died of a chronic heart condition. The Vicar travelled down to Alder Hey to be with and pray with the family. The mother asked the little girl to pray to Jesus to heal her. The little girl closed her eyes and said 'no, Jesus says I can go home with him today' and she died. I don't know why. It's heartbreaking. But while it confuses me it cannot take away from the times God does heal.

I suppose that's what faith is isn't it. Belief despite doubt, confusion and anger.

Several people asked me or assumed that I wouldn't believe in God anymore once my Dad had died. To me that made no sense. How could I believe in God when genocide and mass starvation was happening around the world but not when someone I was close to died.

Faith is hard work. And when you see something that you believe is a miracle it's precious and worth shouting from the rooftops about. No way should that family be considered unreasonable for talking about their special experience.