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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think men don't need to walk between a woman and the road and wonder where that idea came from?

243 replies

Damselindestress · 24/10/2015 19:02

I saw this picture on Facebook. After staring for a while I eventually realised that they were saying he should be walking on the street side and that was confirmed in the comments but I don't know why that is considered correct etiquette. I've only heard of walking on the street side when walking with children so they don't run into the road, seems a bit patronising with an adult. I wondered if anyone could let me know where this idea comes from?

To think men don't need to walk between a woman and the road and wonder where that idea came from?
OP posts:
feckityfeck · 28/10/2015 19:23

I asked this earlier on in the thread but didn't get an answer - Do you think bigger and stronger men routinely walk on the outside of the pavement when walking with smaller and weaker men? Do you think it even goes through their mind to do that?

StealthPolarBear · 28/10/2015 19:32

Good question. I suspect the answer is no because it's only women that need protecting. By definition. Genitalia is the key.

feckityfeck · 28/10/2015 19:34

Yep, but people keep on insisting it's because we're so naturally small and weak that it makes sense for big strong men to take the hit from the car...

CandyCaneCottage · 28/10/2015 19:34

So a big strong man can turn into the hulk/ superman and not sustain injuries or die when a car hits them?

Just because an adult is bigger/stronger doesn't mean they won't be hurt the same as a smaller adult.

The elderly or young children yes but I don't believe that being a man/ woman makes you any more/less vulnerable to getting injured by an oncoming out of control car

3littlebadgers · 28/10/2015 19:38

I guess the issue is if the person on then outside begrudges being on the outside. I think it will be different for everyone. There will be some people who it doesn't even occur to do that, some who will do it through obligation and then others who it just feels like a natural thing to do. As long as we are understanding and support the individuals choices, regardless of what they are.

CandyCaneCottage · 28/10/2015 19:49

But aren't men generally taught to do it because it's the right thing and it's the way it's always been? So it's been ingrained in them to do it and told that they're more expendable, I don't believe that it's because they are stronger not I genuinely think it's because they are men protecting women. Otherwise men and women would still be taught to do it with everybody, be it man and woman , woman/ woman, man/man but it's just a man / woman dynamic generally with exception to children

Mrsnoo72 · 28/10/2015 20:12

She's doing ok in the picture - my DH takes your hand and drags you into the gutter and the traffic (me or the kids/baby/pushchair) just so any oncoming pedestrians won't potentially be inconvenienced by having to slightly move around us. Drives me demented. Not to mention it's unsafe and you risk stepping on dog poo...
I remember screeching like a banshee at him for doing it with my 4-day-old baby in a sling. considering divorce

Melfish · 28/10/2015 20:17

DF always did this, he reckoned it was to do with drawing his sword (against who, a passing motorist). You'd think he was born in 1640 not 1940!

StealthPolarBear · 28/10/2015 20:22

This reminds me of when my parents took my children on a trip to a nearby city, booked a nice hotel.
With work I was staying in the same city, b and b literally 2 mins walk away. I went to see them for dinner then headed back to mu hotel. You could just about see where I was staying if you craned your neck out of their window. Mum wanted dad to walk me back. Dad is about an inch taller than me, probably a stone lighter and has no martial arts training I'm aware of. He's a very intelligent and lovely man but his "fighting off robbers" skills wouldn't make his cv.
Update: I made it back through the streets of the hostile northern city unscathed.

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 28/10/2015 20:25

I don't really accept 'how I was raised' as an argument. You are an adult, you apply reason, judgement, reflection to decisions. My DH was 'raised' seeing his stepdad beat his mum into hospital. I was 'raised' hearing that if women are out late, it's their fault they're raped. Neither of us have taken this into adulthood, because we have minds of our own, and decide our own ethical positions. I walk wherever I want on the pavement, including after dark.

bumbleymummy · 28/10/2015 20:36

"more likely to survive" is not the same as 'won't get hurt'/'sustain injuries' Hmm

This is not something I'm going to get worked up about.

CandyCaneCottage · 28/10/2015 20:46

Bumbley

if that was to me, can you please explain how men are less likely to be injured than women if a speeding/ out of control vehicles rams into them?

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 28/10/2015 21:22

I am just gobsmacked by the number of people who actually think it's "nice" or "sweet" that men do this.

redstrawberry10 · 28/10/2015 23:10

Good question. I suspect the answer is no because it's only women that need protecting. By definition. Genitalia is the key.

a man can bat an out of control car away with his penis. It's a fact.

TheNewStatesman · 28/10/2015 23:19

My experience in developing countries is that the outside of the road is worse to walk on. Tiny narrow pavements with crumbling kerbs or no pavements at all make the "outside" lane hazardous and dirty.

justgoandgetalife · 28/10/2015 23:20

Good grief - so much fuss! It's because when couples walked towards each other the men would pass sword hand to sword hand (more often right hand side) so it allowed the man to draw his sword to protect his lady if he had to.

Now it's morphed into the man walking nearest the traffic. I do the same thing with my kids for the same reason. To protect my children.

Traditional good manners & chivalry goes a long way in my book.

bumbleymummy · 28/10/2015 23:26

Candy, it's from my comment at the top of the page "Most men are bigger/stronger than women so more likely to survive an impact with a car/be able to support a woman if she fell."

If you can't see how size/weight of a person might make a difference then I wonder why you think children are more at risk.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 28/10/2015 23:27

I need to go for a walk with DH, do you think his boss would mind. I never have noticed this before and need to know.

redstrawberry10 · 28/10/2015 23:31

If you can't see how size/weight of a person might make a difference then I wonder why you think children are more at risk.

I don't do it because I think I can withstand an impact better than children. It's to stop children from using poor judgement and leaping into the street. Also, they are small and difficult to see, especially from a reversing car.

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 28/10/2015 23:32

My Grandfather used to say that you walked a dog with the dog on the outside, i.e. street side. This seems doesn't seem likely to be right when I think about it.

bumbleymummy · 28/10/2015 23:34

Yes, red, we established up thread that that is the main risk with children. Crazy and I were discussing the reasons why men may do it with women when they are unlikely to use poor judgement and jump into the street.

feckityfeck · 29/10/2015 07:16

If you can't see how size/weight of a person might make a difference then I wonder why you think children are more at risk.

So, bumbleymummy, please answer the question I've asked a couple of times now. Do you think bigger stronger men should walk between smaller weaker men and the road?

bumbleymummy · 29/10/2015 07:36

Should? I don't think I've said anywhere that men should do anything. If they feel that they want to then fine. I can imagine that a father may do it for his teenage sons still (even though they aren't going to run into the road).

feckityfeck · 29/10/2015 07:38

Not fathers and sons, and not should, but can you imagine a bigger man protecting a smaller man like this?

motherofallhangovers · 29/10/2015 07:46

I walk between my DC and the road.

I would feel totally infantalised if a man insisted on doing this to me.

It's not nice, (although i accept they think they're being nice) it's deeply patronising IMO.