To think men don't need to walk between a woman and the road and wonder where that idea came from?

[Damselindestress]

I saw this picture on Facebook. After staring for a while I eventually realised that they were saying he should be walking on the street side and that was confirmed in the comments but I don't know why that is considered correct etiquette. I've only heard of walking on the street side when walking with children so they don't run into the road, seems a bit patronising with an adult. I wondered if anyone could let me know where this idea comes from?

I walk closest to the road because I'd rather get hit by a car than my DP.

DH was conditioned to do it. He knows I find it ridiculous and unnecessary, although I don't make a song and dance about it. As Chunky says, to insist or force a woman to move is really quite rude. I have had a few incidents at work with two male colleagues. They would both refuse to walk through a door if I reached it first and held it open for them. They will now, but still have to make it clear they're not happy about it. It is ridiculous and, yes, insulting behaviour.

I find a lot of 'gentlemanly' behaviour quite infantilising to women actually.

My boss's dad once propelled me across a road with his hand in the small of my back. He had typical gentlemanly manners and I think his wife liked being treated that way. I did not.

The first automobiles were quite unsafe and don't forget they thought your head would drop off over 20 mph
You couldn't steer very well, brakes were just slow and women needed protecting from this and of course large puddles.

Here we go.

I think it dates back earlier than automobiles. I think a coach and four bombing past you, going through a puddle, would be quite splashy, and roads were likely to have more horse shit around, if the road sweeping boy wasn't around.

Eh? I've never even heard of that as being a 'thing', and walk where I damn well please! Not bothered whether dh on the left or right of me
I'm all for manners though, and holding doors open for people and offering up your seat is lovely.
This = strange though!

*StealthPolarBear

Is he nice to everyone solina or just women? And if just women why??*

He is nice to everyone yeah.

What I dont get is why is it so wrong for men to be nice to women? Or anyone to be nice. I also open doors to people or carry shopping for other people if they ask or sometimes without asking just to be nice.

I think it is sad that act of being polite/nice is being seen as an issue of men "patronising" women. I really dont think there is anything wrong of wanting to protect/help someone you love even if they dont "need" it. It just shows you care.

My dad insists on this. I think it's cute.

THe least vulnerable person walks in the most dangerous area
that is the Kerb
so
mum with kids
mum on the kerb

adult with elderly parents
adult on the kerb

couple
heavier one on kerb

friends
heaviest on kerb

having seen cars mounting pavements,
put the strongest person with the fastest reaction on the kerb

chivalry meets common sense
no sexism or anything else

I used to work with a bunch of ex policemen. Lovely guys, fun to work with, but dinosaurs on this sort of thing and it was quite irritating. We once went to visit a faculty with a lot of stairs and corridors and locked doors. The tried to make me walk in front of them all the time and it was awkward and stupid as a) I didn't know which way to go and b) I didn't have the keys. After a while I started to think they just wanted to look at my bum or something, which I am sure wasn't the case but it made me feel very self conscious.

I like polite people and have no issue with having doors opened for me etc, so long as I can return the favour. Men who need to race to the doors, or who open the other door when you are holding one open for them are not polite or chivalrous, they have a problem with seeing women as equals.

I do like the chivalry of this BUT
I was until recently dating a man who constantly swapped about to be on the outside. Most of our dates were in meandering village type settings wandering about and the conversation was constantly interrupted by his incessant pavement hopping. Drove me insane.

If a car mounts the pavement then weight isn't going to protect you.

You put your kids on the inside because they are young and unaware of all the dangers a road can present. I'm a grown woman and quite capable of walking on a pavement without any special protection.

So his (right) sword arm is free to protect you from footpads. Or something.

I had no idea it went back to medieval times.
Surely the man walking on the outside though would put the woman directly under the potties.

No, because mediaeval buildings usually have overhanging eaves, like in this picture - commondatastorage.googleapis.com/static.panoramio.com/photos/original/5137868.jpg

So throwing the contents of a chamber pot from the first floor or higher would have probably meant the person nearer the building would be sheltered by the overhanging eaves, but the person nearer the road was at risk of being splattered if they ignored the call from above.

I think its more because if a car lost control and came onto the pavement the person on the inside is more protected? Can't say I know many young men who do it now, but my father and men of his generation do and my mother does it to Me (motherly instinct I suppose) .I do it to the dog and any young children. It really sets my teeth on edge seeing a child and parent walking along and child on the outside - maybe the way I was brought up but to me the adult should be walking on the outside to protect the child if needed.

I never noticed this before I met DH. Then he wanted me to walk on the inside because he lived in a rough area where there were some recent reports of abductions going around.

When we moved to a safer area it stopped, and he walks on the inside because I tend to drift towards the person I'm talking to pushing them to the grass or road, DH would rather be "pushed" to the grass.

I think the PP who described this as infantilising is spot on. Not individual men doing it, as it could become habitual as a result of upbringing, but the underlying attitude that women need protecting. I love DH, why on earth would I want him to be hit by a car rather than me? I don't buy the swords and chamber pots excuses either - it's not an explanation for continuing a behaviour several centuries after the cause for it has disappeared.

Men as a whole "being nice" to women as a whole is patronising. Because if you delve down into why, it can be traced back to women being less capable and men needing to make up that shortfall as well as manage themselves.
Men being nice to women (ad well as other men) because they are just nice people isn't what we're talking about here. I have no problem with that.
It's along the same lines of thought as men providing for their families and women being less involved in important decisions. Because it's the man's duty to head the household.

I know its unreasonable. Even you, Rhonda Rousey, know its unreasonable yet you choose to play along anyway. Why?

Nope, wrong again. Your opinion is that it's unreasonable.

I'm with Stealth. Manners are for everyone. 'Chivalry' is tiresome, reactionary nonsense that has no place in 2015. I would be wondering why someone was so automatically invested in me being a vulnerable ickle creature that they moved between me and the traffic.

Nooka, your dinosaur police chums were looking at your ass, I fear, rather than being polite. Trad etiquette dictates that a man goes upstairs in front of a woman, so he can't see up her skirt. The hero of John Fowles' Victorian-set French Lieutenant's Woman realises the governess is not socially 'ok' when she doesn't wait for him to go up in front of her, and then leches at her pantalettes the whole way.

Ivejust realised DP does this, and it made me smile when I realised. I asked him why and he said because he was brought up to do so, but also because I have a tendency to forget what's happening if I'm
Chatting away and have been known to step off the pavement into the road

Thinking about, he definitely does to more now I'm pregnant. I like it, I don't feel patronised, I feel cared about.

And Rhonda Roussey isn't a kick boxer. If you think you are being clever and passive aggressive by giving someone a nick name, do try to be accurate.

Bloomsbury I thought the going up/downstairs thing was to prevent the lady falling (so man goes behind on way up to catch her if she falls, in front on way down to do the same)?

Interestingly, when I was doing some work with armed police (none of whom were dinosaurs, many of whom were women) they always made sure they were walking behind me and joked that it was so I wasn't able to grab their gun

An x boyfriend of mine used to do it because he was brought up to do so. I presume it was to protect the woman from being splashed by puddles etc which is quite nice. I'm sure he would have swapped places if I had insisted but why would I?