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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think men don't need to walk between a woman and the road and wonder where that idea came from?

243 replies

Damselindestress · 24/10/2015 19:02

I saw this picture on Facebook. After staring for a while I eventually realised that they were saying he should be walking on the street side and that was confirmed in the comments but I don't know why that is considered correct etiquette. I've only heard of walking on the street side when walking with children so they don't run into the road, seems a bit patronising with an adult. I wondered if anyone could let me know where this idea comes from?

To think men don't need to walk between a woman and the road and wonder where that idea came from?
OP posts:
feckityfeck · 25/10/2015 09:13

friends
heaviest on kerb

Err, what?

Do you really think that the heavier of two men walking down the street together would step to the outside of the pavement? And how exactly do you think the lighter man would feel about the need to be 'protected' by the heavier man?

Not too much of a leap from that to realise why some women might feel patronised by a man 'protecting' them...

ivykaty44 · 25/10/2015 09:16

Op I always walk with my dc inside and me nearest the road, that makes me feel better.

AnotherCider · 25/10/2015 09:21

The sword thing has to be bollox, because it woukd only work for one direction on the footpath!

Jux · 25/10/2015 12:00

All the men in my family do this. Except dh, of course!

SevenOfNineTrue · 26/10/2015 14:22

My Grandfather once stopped my Aunt from going out with a chap again because the guy didn't walk between my Aunt and the road Smile

Excitedtoday · 26/10/2015 14:27

FIL does this and suggests that DH might like to walk on the outside if we're out and about. I usually remind him its not the 18th century, there's no need for chivalry. Us womanly people can vote now and everything.

overthemill · 26/10/2015 14:35

Chamber pots and splashing from carriages going past.According to my dad in the 70s who used to embarrass me by instructing boyfriends how he expected them to treat me ...

Fink · 26/10/2015 14:55

A guy I was at uni with did it to me. I had never heard of the practice until then and, at 21, was at my most militant feminist stage.

I spent the whole length of a road insisting on crossing backwards and forwards to look at things just so I could suss out what he was doing. We eventually got to the restaurant and he turned out to have some bizarre etiquette about who sits where.

It took another six months of patient hint dropping before he finally got the message that I wasn't interested.

OfaFrenchmind2 · 26/10/2015 14:57

Meh... That's the kind of thing that makes me smile rather than annoy me. If a dude wants to take the splash instead of me, I am all for it, as my shoes and clothes are more fragile most of the time. And As long as I know that I am not a timid flower, and I am confident in myself, chivalry and good manners is just a bonus for me. Apparently masculinity is not the only one to be so fragile :)

Agent160 · 26/10/2015 17:29

Did anyone else open this thread thinking of the Flight of the Conchords scene where Jermaine is trying to work out why Sally broke up with him?

I did all my moves. I walked on the outside of her. I bought her a kebab. I paid for half the taxi. Should I have paid for the whole taxi?

Now every time DH finds himself walking on the outside he says the above to me.

bilbodog · 26/10/2015 17:47

I always thought it was because a woman might be pregnant so a man is protecting more than just the woman if that is the case.

CassieBearRawr · 26/10/2015 17:59

And Rhonda Roussey isn't a kick boxer. If you think you are being clever and passive aggressive by giving someone a nick name, do try to be accurate.

God bless you posting twice to correct me Grin I know Rousey isn't a kick boxer so your lessons in semantics are unnecessary.

Still haven't answered why you enjoy play acting along to men infantilising you.

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 26/10/2015 20:33

I thought it was to do with saving the child/woman if a car unexpectedly mounts the kerb. Ie the man would be the human shield.

Also, this is just my theory but it would keep the man's right hand (his sword hand) free to defend her. That's the reason why the bride and groom stand on the sides they do in church.

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 26/10/2015 20:35

Oh, I see the sword point has been dismissed :0(

Trills · 26/10/2015 20:49

It's annoying when people shuffle about oddly in order to get on "the right side".

listsandbudgets · 26/10/2015 21:34

DP does this - oddly enough I've never thought about it but he does. Mind you he also opens doors, is the first to carry bags for anyone who needs help and is generally a gentleman :)

whattheseithakasmean · 27/10/2015 06:25

I open doors & carry bags for people - does that mean I am a gentleman?

I am totally going to start making sure I walk on the outside of all 'gentlemen' from now on, just to mess with their heads Grin

Scoobydoo8 · 27/10/2015 06:36

Surely it's so that the man's right arm is free so that he can unsheath his sword and fight off marauders.

Thought everyone knew that.

LindyHemming · 27/10/2015 07:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Busyworkingmum71 · 27/10/2015 07:22

My dad did this, I think it's lovely. He told me it was to protect against splashes, the chamber pot story could well be true too.

I don't think the sword wearing would be right, as swords were worn on the left, so the could be drawn with the right. The sword would be banging against the lady's dress. Of course if he were to draw his sword, with his right hand, it would be away from the lady, if she were on his right he would be drawing it into her face, so that could be it.

Busyworkingmum71 · 27/10/2015 07:32

Clearly I didn't RTFT before posting. I have now. quite proud I managed to work out the sword thing all by myself tho

Abidewithme3 · 27/10/2015 07:36

Dh always says it's in case he has to 'draw his sword' think he's just being rude to be honest.

zippey · 28/10/2015 08:10

It is demeaning because it implies women need protecting. But on the same hand it implies that men's lives are less important. A bit like when people say "women and children first". Women aren't weaker anda mans life isas important as a womans.

redstrawberry10 · 28/10/2015 10:12

A man at work helped me carry something that I was more than capable of carrying myself but I still thought it was nice of him to do that. Maybe that makes me a bad feminist. I would rather be viewed as a bad feminist than be a person who takes offence at someone doing something nice for me, no matter the history of the act.

I am a bit baffled by this attitude. I think if your attitude is that "it's nice" when men open doors for women only, then there is a dark side to that attitude. It's a double edged sword.

hazeyjane · 28/10/2015 10:19

jesus, I just read this thread title as

'To think men don't need to wank between a woman and the road....'

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