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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that if a surgeon refuses to operate until you lose 21/2 stone than you should br offered some support with said weigt loss.

234 replies

northernsoul78 · 23/10/2015 14:57

So I need an operation. I am not a fool so know that losing weight makes sense before going under thr knife. So I asked my GP for help. They told me I didn't qualify for help as I don't get free prescriptions. This is a complete turnaround as the surgery used to offer nurse led clinics. It now does Slomming World referrals for people in receipt of free prescriptions.
so whilst waiting to see consultant I managed to lose maybe 10lbs.
I basically saw the Consultant who basically told me to come back in 4 months and they will book op if I have lost the best part of 21/2 stone.
Now I know this is a great incentive to lose weight but they are expecting me to lose more than the recommended 1 to 2lbs per week without support.
yet on the NHs podcast there is a woman on there with a lower BMiI than me who had no major health issues. She didn't want to pay out fow a slimming club so she went to GP and they referred her to dietician and prescribed Orlisat.
So it seems that support is there but not in my case. Obviously I am not asking for medication but I would have hoped they could offer something.
Realise I am probably being unreasonable but just fed up.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 23/10/2015 17:05

I'm not entirely sure what you are expecting here.

By that I mean, what sort of support do you think you should be getting?

Do you think that the same support should be available everywhere? Well yes it should but the NHS has such great differences in policy between postcodes that really there is nothing national about it, and there hasn't been for years. It is an unfair system. Its wrong and the debate is a well versed one that has been going on for many years.

However, you apparently do seem to be able to afford Slimming World. If that is the support you are looking for, then rather than expecting things to happen and the NHS to change over night, its better to just get on with it and find the support you need rather than expecting it to be given to you.

My experience of the NHS has been that even if you have a legitimate case and are eligible for x, y or z it doesn't mean that will happen without you having to make it happen too.

If however you think this is an important issue that really isn't being taken seriously, rather than just being about you as an individual, the YANBU. The best thing you could do in those circumstances is to use the energy you have moaning to be more productive. Help others in a similar position and give each other support or campaign against the inequality and postcode lottery within the NHS more generally.

BoffinMum · 23/10/2015 17:09

I think ultimately you just have to lose as much weight as you reasonably can by picking one weight loss system and absolutely sticking to it, surrounding yourself with other people who are happy to help you. You can control that, you can't control anything else in the chain. I am sure if you keep an accurate food diary and weight diary and were able to articulate serious lifestyle changes, that would add ammunition to any case for surgery.

Florriesma · 23/10/2015 17:10

The trouble is the cuts are biting!
I would be a bit daunted too op but nhs choices is a good start. A friend has lost 3st through that and kept it off. Unlike anyone I have known through sw and ww! Council gyms round here have good weight management support
Also have you thought about chatting to the pharmacist of you thinking of orlistat?

ihavenonameonhere · 23/10/2015 17:15

Ffs no wonder we can't get things we need when people want the nhs to pay for everything.

I need to lose 1 stone so I've joined and paid for sw to help me.

hackmum · 23/10/2015 17:15

OP, I don't know whether you are BU or not, but I do think that ultimately, you're the only person who can help yourself. Take a look at your diet and look at what the problem is: Fizzy drinks? Cakes? Frequent snacks? Too large portions? Then whatever it is, just stop it. Reduce what you eat. If you feel hungry between meals, have an apple. If you feel thirsty, have a glass of water.

Four calendar months is 18 weeks, and you need to lose 35lb. That's just under 2lb a week, so quite doable. I have noticed that once your body goes into weight loss mode, it gets easier and the pounds start to drop.

Lisajonasuk · 23/10/2015 17:16

Have you tried the grapefruit diet? Just farce on grapefruits for three days and the results are amazing, especially for cellulite.

mice · 23/10/2015 17:17

As someone who has lost a lot of weight by "eating less and moving more" I found what I needed more than anything was self motivation to succeed. I can honestly say it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I went from a size 24 to a 10/12 in about 18 months, I was almost 40 when I started. I have maintained my weight now for almost 3 years. I have also maintained only eating when I am hungry and eating small amounts despite still exercising every day. Just because I now weigh less I can't go back to my old ways or eat cake too often, it has to be a complete change of lifestyle. The one thing I had to learn was that I couldn't lose this amount of weight without being hungry. So often I hear people say they don't succeed because they were always hungry etc I had to learn that before a meal I really should be really hungry - that when I woke up I should be hungry as I hadn't eaten for hours and after a few weeks when my body started to get used to this it got easier - but it was hard. Now it has become a way of life and I know if I over indulge one day or one week to do something about it the next day/week to avoid getting myself back in the same situation. I didn't lose weight for any surgery - but just after losing weight I required emergency surgery followed by further follow up surgery and was quite seriously ill. (ovarian cancer) My recovery times were surprisingly quick and my fitness levels (heart rate, blood pressure etc) impressed the doctors and made me realise just how important looking after my health really is and I am sure helped with my positive prognosis.
I would never underestimate just how hard it is to lose weight, but if you want to succeed you need to accept that, accept that you will sometimes be hungry, will have to say no to dessert or cake or chips with a meal and as you start to see the results it makes saying no the next time even easier. There is no easy solution, so many people ask me what my secret has been and there really is no secret - just hard work.
10lb so far is really good going, be determined, keep going and believe in yourself - you can do this and it will be worth it in the end. Good Luck :-)

Muckogy · 23/10/2015 17:25

YABVU.
there's vast oceans of support out there for those who need to lose weight.

surgeons have enough responsibility without managing and controlling the weight of their patients.

i know how hard it is to lose weight. it's a battle for me and will be till the day i die.

but as an adult, you need to take control your own health, diet and exercise. that's your job, not a surgeon's.

hefzi · 23/10/2015 17:31

I don't think you're being unreasonable, as one of your later posts said that what you were after, rather than free SW or meds (and Orlistat only works if you have a high fat diet anyway, by making you essentially faecally incontinent...), was a sort of supervised session at the surgery.

I don't think that's precisely a drain on NHS resources, and would probably serve the whole population, not just those on free prescriptions, better. That said, you need to figure out why you're overweight - it's not just eat less, move more for everyone - and try to tackle that: so if you're hoovering up kids leftovers, rather than binning stuff, work on allowing yourself to throw away food etc or whatever.

My mum found the NHS download 12 week thingie really helpful (she's an ex WW person from my childhood) - but if you're an emotional eater, something like OA might be more appropriate.

You have my congratulations for losing ten pounds so far - and my commiserations for needing to lose more: I am fat as fuck myself, and despite what people say, it's just as hard to lose two pounds a week when you're fat as when you're slimmer.

HOWEVER - I guess it also depends what your op is for: if you're classed as obese, apparently they need to have two anaesthetists present, for example, which is an extra cost. But there is also a significantly increased risk from the anaesthetic to you - so it's weighing up the cost/benefit analysis not just about the finances for the NHS but also for your health. If it's something to do with your joints and/or lower limbs, it actually makes sense to get you to lose first, simply because you'll be also at a lower risk of DVT following surgery, and also because your recovery will be smoother, as you are carrying less bulk and putting less stress on your joints etc

Good Luck, anyway - and again, congratulations on shifting nearly a stone already!

WhereYouLeftIt · 23/10/2015 18:07

OP, what sort of support would you like your GP to provide? How would you see it making a difference to your weight loss? (Genuine question, not being arsey although I can see it could be read that way.)

northernsoul78 · 23/10/2015 18:12

Thank you for further replies. I visited the NHS Choices site and just got wound up by the podcast wher they showed a woman in her fancy kitchen with about 20 types of oil in the background go on about how she cba to pay for slimming club but its ok because the Gp referred me to a dietian and give me tablets. Anyone struggling to lose weight like me will see this and think help is available but clearly that is not the case. I wouldn't want tablets and anyway I am breastfeeding a toddler so I couldn't take them anyway.
We could afford Slimming world at the moment but as Dh is out of work I am trying to economise.

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 23/10/2015 18:19

Yabu.

Surely, you know what you need to do. It all comes down to willpower.

Good luck!

northernsoul78 · 23/10/2015 18:19

Was looking for something like counterweight program with 2 weekly weigh ins and a plan to follow. I don't have an accurate scales at home. Also in the past I would weigh myself too much and of course this doesn't help. I understand why I need to lose weight for surgery and I have been trying.

OP posts:
Gnomic · 23/10/2015 18:21

If it helps, I've been using the nhs 12 week plan. It's been a nice steady 0.5kg loss most weeks, and I haven't been really calorie counting or doing enough exercise. I'm down over a stone since starting it, and I'm way less food oriented than I was when I began.

Don't lose hope. You can do this. Sugar cravings and appetite get easier to manage once you'real past the first month.

BoffinMum · 23/10/2015 18:22

When it has gone well for me, after a month I more or less stopped wanting things like sugar and chips and the like. They just lost their appeal. You can train yourself to like different things.

Gnomic · 23/10/2015 18:22

Oh, andd I'm losing weight for surgery too.

lashawn · 23/10/2015 18:25

35lb over 4 months is completely achievable

Weight loss doesn't have to cost anything. Download MFP, it's free and it works. Stick to it and you'll lose the weight. Why on earth should the NHS fund you going to slimming world?! Madness.

northernsoul78 · 23/10/2015 18:26

Thats great gnomic thank you although I need to lose 2lbs. I just feel like I will wait so long as I bet I will hwve to wait another 10 weeks for surgery after achieving the magic BMI.

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 23/10/2015 18:29

My doctors practice had a dietician attached and I saw her once a week for three months. Just a ten minute appt but long enough to weigh me and discuss how things had gone.
Does your doctor have a dietician?

TheLambShankRedemption · 23/10/2015 18:29

i feel for you OP. If you knew how to control your weight or food issues you wouldn't be in the position you are in now.

If weight management was as simple as eat less and move more we'd all be slim. That line makes me think of people saying 'stop taking drugs' to an addict, 'stop smoking' to a smoker, 'stop drinking' to an alcoholic and then being infuriated as to why people aren't cured.

I've had CBT for eating issues; The counsellor thought that my issues came from childhood where food was a comfort, distracting me away from being abused. I can't say that CBT has cured my food issues but it helped with the negative thinking about myself being a worthless piece of shit because I am living in a fat body. That in itself assists with motivation to try to make small changes, because you are worth it.

It may help to tap into what will help motivate you or identify negative beliefs that are keeping you on the road to self destruct. Small steps take you on the journey of progress and you're already losing weight.

I don't have the answer for you but wish you well.

BondJayneBond · 23/10/2015 18:31

YANBU.

Given the increasing scale of obesity in the UK, it would seem reasonable for patients who need to lose weight before surgery to be able to access support via the NHS. Especially given the type of support OP says she wants.

I agree that willpower makes a big difference to losing weight, but willpower also matters a lot with, say, quitting smoking, and there's lots of NHS support available for that if the posters in my GP surgery are anything to go by.

Footle · 23/10/2015 18:41

My scales were £3.00 from Asda. They seem to work very well. I don't think that lack of scales should get in your way.

northernsoul78 · 23/10/2015 18:50

The weight has probably crept up gradually. It has taken 15 years to get to this level although I have lost some every so often.

OP posts:
Londonista123 · 23/10/2015 18:54

5:2 diet.

It actually saved me money.

You can get scales for a couple of quid from argos.

^^This.

I'd also suggest getting a weight-loss buddy, ideally in RL or on MN/the 5:2 forum.

Can you build walking/movement into your day somehow? Get off the bus one stop earlier / take the stairs instead of the lift anywhere / take DC for a longer outing to a park or similar?

northernsoul78 · 23/10/2015 19:09

I already swim or do aqua 3 times a week. I had to cut down my gym sessions due to the condition. I can still do cardio but weights are now out.

OP posts:
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