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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really cross and say no my parents only

46 replies

Dollymixtureyumyum · 21/10/2015 06:56

I have booked Ds in to go and see santa (early i know but needed in order to get in) we invited my parents and inlaws along and they said yes.
My inlaws announce yesterday that they have booked to go and see santa with DS the week after we are all due to go but it's ok it's there say to have him anyway do they dictate what they do with him!!! Which yes I would normal agree with them but FFS. Both my and DH work and can get out.
I know i would prob be unreasonable to tell them they cany take him to see Santa but would I be wrong to say well its just my parents now when we go and see santa the week before.

OP posts:
SoreArms · 21/10/2015 07:00

Why are you annoyed they're taking him though? If it was the week before you were going then I could maybe see why you might feel it was stealing your thunder but the week after? I don't know if there's a back story but on why you've said there, I think YABU.

Floisme · 21/10/2015 07:01

I don't understand the problem either.

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 21/10/2015 07:01

By the way Ds is 2

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 21/10/2015 07:01

Yep. Completely unreasonable. He'll love going with all his grandparents. And he'll love going again. FC will probably come to his nursery or school too- he has lots and lots of helpers!

TheOriginalWinkly · 21/10/2015 07:02

YABU. Why would you punish them by leaving them out for doing something nice on a day where it sounds like they provide childcare for you? One year I went to see Santa 3 times including once with my childminder, I wasn't emotionally scarred and it didn't damage my relationship with my parents.

NinkyNonky · 21/10/2015 07:02

I don't understand why you're upset? I could understand it if they wanted to take him before you. Is there some kind of back story?

Difficultchoice · 21/10/2015 07:03

Can't see a problem either!

christinarossetti · 21/10/2015 07:04

Sounds like you have two lots of grandparents who want to be involved in your DS*s life.

Iwould try to be grateful for rhat. Tbh.I

Axekick · 21/10/2015 07:06

So you are leaving them out of the family trip to Santa as punishment because they are taking him after?

Think my kids saw Santa about 4 times last year. We took them, then they saw him a few time s while we were out as something to do. Christmas parties etc.

Yabu

LadyLonely1 · 21/10/2015 07:11

Yabu and sound like you're looking for a problem with them. I can't see what the issue is. Your ds will love it so don't make it about you.

Salene · 21/10/2015 07:11

Your being a dick. You should be grateful they take him at all, I'd be delighted if my sons GP offered to take him to Santa even if he had been 10 times before.

Stop acting like a kid.

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 21/10/2015 07:12

There is a bit of a backstory.
We all went to see santa with my inlaws and SIL and her little boy last year. It was a santa boat ride thing. I have posted about my SIL before and her tantrums and how inlaws pander to them. After the boat ride she starts saying she wants to go shopping and we had a knackard Ds who just wanted to sleep (18 months at the time) and no pram with us as inlaws had been before and was adamant we would not need one and we would be coming home after the santa ride.
Anyway we it ended up with SIL getting her own way after a tantrum and calling us all the names under the son and DH, DS and I had to get the train back home with an overtired very grumpy little one (We had all gone together in one car/people carrier).
We said we would not be going this year when asked due to what happened so now they are taking Ds on a day they have him to get around this.
I guess I am a bit worried that they will pander to SIL and no worry to much about what DS needs (such as sleep).
But I will suck this up and let them and allow them to come to the first santa as well :)

OP posts:
verystressedmum · 21/10/2015 07:13

Eh? You're annoyed because your in laws are taking your 2 year old to see Santa the week after you all go?
What's the matter with you why on earth are you annoyed?

Axekick · 21/10/2015 07:15

But you aren't planning in saying 'actually given what happened last year, I would prefer it if you didn't take ds out on the trip with sil. The reason being....'

You are planning to exclude them from an earlier already planned family trip. Which is a shitty thing to do.

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 21/10/2015 07:15

And thankyou for pointing out I am being a dick about this, yabu would have done. Hmm

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confusedandemployed · 21/10/2015 07:15

Back story or no you're still BU. And a bit precious.

verystressedmum · 21/10/2015 07:15

Oh right you should have said this at the start.
Just tell them to take a buggy because of what happened last time. Least then if he's tired he can sleep.

Leavingsosoon · 21/10/2015 07:17

Santa is a minefield! No, I wouldn't be annoyed. I think your second post is more general worry about care of DS but 2 year olds do let people know when they have had enough Wink

VegasIsBest · 21/10/2015 07:18

YABU

What happened last year was almost a year ago and has no bearing on anything in your question about this year's trip.

Let bygones be bygones and enjoy having both families involved with your child.

AtSea1979 · 21/10/2015 07:18

Let them? They are his GP. So what he gets over tired, surely that's their problem when he's kicking off

SoreArms · 21/10/2015 07:18

Ok so thi isn't about a Santa visit so much as you don't think the in laws will take proper care of him. That's a completely different issue to that in your OP. i have to say, even eith the extra info I still think YABU. Last year's events sound like a pain in the arse but there's a lesson to be learned there about going in one car (always a nightmare when people have differing needs)

TheOriginalWinkly · 21/10/2015 07:19

You said it's on 'their day'. Do they provide regular childcare?

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 21/10/2015 07:20

Ok I concede I am AIBVVVU
I have not said anything to DH and my inlaws it was just how i felt.
I will just suck it up let it happen :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 21/10/2015 07:22

Well yes and know they do not provide regular childcare on a week to week basis but about 5 days a year I need to work an extra day at work so they have him on these days which are pre agreed with them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 21/10/2015 07:24

Can I duck out of this thread now after being suitably told off with a promise I know I am being unreasonable.
Thankyou for your input Smile

OP posts: