To ask those of you who have a later family dinner get young dc to bed on time?

[Newtothis2015]

My 2 and 6 year old normally eat dinner at 4.30pm with me, there dad gets home at 6pm and reheats his later. I have been doing a trial of us all eating dinner at 6pm and it is not working for the following:
1: dd is starving after school and is eating a dinner sizes snack after school (think toast, biscuits, cheese, sausage rolls, Apple, all at once!)
2: it takes youngest dd 45 minutes to eat dinner as she is slow and steady and has a pudding too which she also eats slow and steady
3: dh sometimes has a late lunch at work and doesn't always want to eat straight after work
4: I am tired by 6.45pm and am slow at cleaning the kitchen
5: the kids are not in bed until 7.30 with a 6 dinner and take an hour to fall asleep so are not asleep until 8.30 and do not want to wake in the mornings

Shall I put this down as not working? Or are there any of you who manage a 6pm dinner and kids asleep by 7pm? If so how do you do it??

I never said I feed my kids at 4.30

I originally responded to someone who said that it was an odd time to give tea. where's I don't think it is. and to me and if circumstances regarding activities or work or trips out meant it was a toss up between an early tea or eating at say half 6 I'd choose the early tea. for reasons I've already stated.

I also don't think. 7 is an odd bed time.

mine have always gone to bed at that time as babies and toddlers. and even at nearly 5 dd1 is still in bed by 7. half past at the latest.

And actually being awake is no indication of not being tired. Kids can go from falling asleep on the sofa clearly ready for bed to jumping around like mad things in a very short space of time.

and being hyped up and not going to sleep cab actually he a sign. of being over tired. the more tired you are the longer ot takes and the harder it is to fall asleep. and you don't sleep as well either.

Snack after school/preschool of fruit or yogurt or crackers and cheese, dinner at 6. No dessert. Finish at 6:30 ish bed for the little ones is 7:30.

DH isn't home until 630, so we do dinner at 5, bathtime at 6 and bedtime at 7. DH and I eat separately between 730 and 830 depending on what we are doing that evening. We try and eat as a family at weekends though.

It works for us - the older DC are in bed by 7 and then lights out is 745 or earlier if they are both asleep.

I can't really remember exactly when we ate when DS was younger but personally I just can't imagine eating an 'evening meal' at 4.30 pm. We would eat around 6pm - DS would then have a bath straight afterwards and be in bed lights out for 7pm. We'd only every have one course, no puddings. Usually DH would eat with us depending on his work pattern but if he was later I would always eat with him rather than DS - I would sit and have a coffee with DS but I would always rather eat with an adult than a child .

But do whatever suits you - we now eat around 7.30pm/8pm depending on evening activities etc. I can't stand walking in the door from work and having to get a meal ready immediately - or eating the minute I get in. If DS is hungry he is more than capable of getting himself a snack.

We both work, the earliest one of us manages to go pick up the kids (toddler and baby) is between 6-6.30. So dinner is no earlier than 7, by the time usually the other parent will be home as well. Their bedtime is at 9.

Even though my dc are much older, we still eat around 6 - 6.30

They're 11,13 and 15 but even with a small snack after school (and for 13yo ds a "small snack" is half a packet of biscuits!) they're ready to eat at that time. Dh doesn't get in until 7.30 at earliest, 9 on a "late surgery" day (he's a GP).

Sometimes I eat with the dc, sometimes I wait until dh gets in.

If they eat early then supper is fruit/cereal/yogurts/toast with or without cheese etc, 11yo goes to bed at 9, older 2 in bed by 10 (when the wifi goes off!!)

Weekends we all eat together, usually a takeaway or something on Saturday then roast on Sunday at 6ish (we get snack lunch at church each week).

Sunday roast is our non-negotiable - everyone is there. It's the one point in the week, with 3 teenage-ish dc that we can guarantee we'll sit down as a family to eat. And then find out the homework they haven't done!!!!

Mine are now 5 and 8 and it's quite recent that I've moved towards more family dinners in the week at around 6-6.30. It's now the weekends where dh and I have a more leisurely dinner later, with wine and no homework to supervise.

Until now the dc ate 5-5.30 and dh and I ate at 8. Anything in between meant that younger dc fell asleep into her plate or was so hyped up that she dissolved into tears and tantrums.

We all eat together at 630, then youngest (4) goes to bed at 7, the oldest (7) a bit later. Bath is always before tea and not every day. We are usually not in from school till 5, as if no after-school activity or violent storms we go to the park and they have a snack then. Doesn't cause us any problems, it's what you are used to and what suits. I will have to feed mine early today as they're back to school for 5 for Scary Film Night and they will be starving again by 7 !

If it's not working Monday to Friday then go with the flow and as your doing now and try to eat together at the weekends.

It's what we do, my dc are starving at 4.30 pm / 5 pm so they have there dinner then and then we have our's any time from 7 pm depending when DH gets home from school.

It's only now DD1 is in high school and now has her 2nd dinner with us.

Unfortunately my dd2 and DS (8 & 6) still get up early 5.30am so are to tired to eat later and it's just not worth the stress. So we make time when we can to eat as a family.

Our all much older now but when little it was Nusery tea at 6, Dh home at 6:30, he then helped with bath and bedtime story, lights out at 7pm. Then downstairs to cook our meal together and focus on us as a couple. Young children are hard on a relationship and its all too easy to lose sight of each other. We purposely took time to discuss each other's day and spend adult children free time. Children were either very good and just naturally stayed in bed or were smart enough to read the signs that no nonsense about bedtime would be entertained. They are now mostly all young adults and we love to have meals together.

Clutter -5.30am at 8 years still! What time do they go to bed? Would that change if you just let bedtime be 9/10pm?

Funnily enough I have just brought the DC's dinner forward to somewhere between 4:30 and 5:30. The two youngest eat much better than they did before. The older two prefer to eat dinner before going out to their various activities rather than later.
I eat with them if DH is getting in late or if I haven't eaten lunch.

We used to all eat together at around 6:30 or as late as 8 but then the older ones clubs and things got later and we needed to start getting up earlier. DS2 is in school now so eats lunch much earlier he gets really grumpy when hungry.

We've always have had tea at around 6.30pm except now not on swimming lessons night when DS eats at 5pm as we don't get back until 8pm.
But we don't do a nightly bath, we've done it since DS first started eating, we don't really do puddings. DS is also really good with bedtime and will put himself to bed if we're not quick enough. Pjs on at 7.30 and reasing in bed usually asleep by 8 except swimming night when it's 8.30pm.
There is no right way to do these things what works for one family might not for another. We try to eat together but DH often doesn't get in from work until late (hospital hours are rather unpredictable) so we eat together when we can but don't sweat when we can't.

We eat together about 6. Either me and the kids if DH is away or all of us if he's been working from home.

Finish dinner by about 6.45. Bath about 7. Into bed some time between 7.30 and 8 (will get a move on if they seem tired). Wake 7ish (sometimes closer to 7.30) in the morning.

I think you do get used to certain meal spacing. At home we always ate about 6.30/7. Which I continued through uni. When I started work and rarely ate before about 8.30/9 I was famished. For about 3 months. Then I adjusted and a quick bit of fruit or whatever saw me through.

My kids are 6, 4 and 1 and all last until 6 with a snack after school. TBH, the baby would rather eat about 5 but he has a more substantial snack.

With a later meal there is no faffing with snacks before bed, so you're just swapping the two around.

Clutterbug- 6 and 8yo getting up at 5:30 , have you tried putting them to bed at 9, they only need 10.5h on average?

Katherina but don't your DC get tea of some sort at nursery? They don't go from lunchtime to 7pm with no food do they?

Our nurseries both did lunch at 12.00 sharp, then tea at 4.00ish so it was out of the way before parents collected.

No, not tea - DC1 gets a snack at childminder's around 4 though (gouter as they call it here, we're in France). But just a snack.

I am still struggling with this (albeit time-shifted a few hours) and my DC are 9 and 12.

DC2 gets home at about 6:15pm. Needs (whatever it may think) to be in bed at or very shortly after 8pm or is impossible to get out of bed at 7am.

DC1 gets home at 7:45pm. Has has "tea" at 6pm but still needs/wants something else.

DH and I may be working at home, home at the same time as DC2, or DC1, or one of us may be away in which case DC2 has to be taken to pick DC1 up.

Suffice to say we have no routine. I have tried feeding DC2 at 6:30pm, leaving it and prioritising shower and jamas then feeding them both/us all as soon as DC1 gets home, or 3 entirely separate meals on the basis that DC1 really only needs a snack. No completely satisfactory solutions as yet, and we generally only get to all eat together at weekends.

I would continue to feed them at 4.30pm and eat a snack yourself at that time and eat all their leftovers Then eat with DH once kids are asleep.

Forest - mine don't get tea either. They eat lunch at school, piece of fruit if they want about 4pm, and dinner around 7.30pm. 6/7 hrs is a perfectly normal time to go between meals.

Artandco Clutter -5.30am at 8 years still! What time do they go to bed? Would that change if you just let bedtime be 9/10pm? It doesn't matter what time she goes to bed she gets up at 5.30am. She has never needed sleep. Although she goes to bed at 7.30pm she does her 'school books' until about 8pm then she will read until 8.30/9pm.

We eat seperately everynight and im sure it hasn't done our son anyharm whatsoever.
For some people its just not possible to eat together not even 1 day a week....in our house my dp works 2 jobs....and i work as well.....he comes in the door as i got out and the nights im not working he isnt in until late anyway !

Also my son goes to bed at 6pm everynight so that means bath etc starting at around 5.30 and he to takes forever to eat so he has his early...if i left it any later he would be falling asleep in his dinner

So if it works for you and is less stressful to feed them earlier thats what i would do

I too have a child that however exhausted, or late to bed, is up by 5.30.
He is in his element now, as the school bus goes at 6.30. School starts at 7.15. UK school starting at 9 meant we were often at the park as the gates were unlocked at 7. Saved anoying the neighbours by being in the garden.
But you lot would have freaked today. Thursdays class has had to be moved to Wed this week. So today we had football at 4.30, and swimming at 6. Both kids had packed lunch at school (told to send a snack, but they don't manage 6 til 2 on snack, so I send sandwich, fruit or veg and biscuit), spag bol at 3, then big bowl of yoghurt and fruit between classes. DS2 was then in bed at 6.15, and will more than likely be hard to wake at 5.30.
DS1 went to bed at 7.30, and will be up before our alarm goes at 5.30.
Right, I'm off to bed (I'm not in the UK, its an early, but not unreasonable time for bed here)

When DC were small they would eat about 5pm and DP and I would eat after 7.30pm. Now they're older (8 and 10) we all eat together about 5.30-6pm. I think it's just about age appropriate meal times. Go back to what works, there is plenty of time for family dinners when DC are older.