To ask those of you who have a later family dinner get young dc to bed on time?

[Newtothis2015]

My 2 and 6 year old normally eat dinner at 4.30pm with me, there dad gets home at 6pm and reheats his later. I have been doing a trial of us all eating dinner at 6pm and it is not working for the following:
1: dd is starving after school and is eating a dinner sizes snack after school (think toast, biscuits, cheese, sausage rolls, Apple, all at once!)
2: it takes youngest dd 45 minutes to eat dinner as she is slow and steady and has a pudding too which she also eats slow and steady
3: dh sometimes has a late lunch at work and doesn't always want to eat straight after work
4: I am tired by 6.45pm and am slow at cleaning the kitchen
5: the kids are not in bed until 7.30 with a 6 dinner and take an hour to fall asleep so are not asleep until 8.30 and do not want to wake in the mornings

Shall I put this down as not working? Or are there any of you who manage a 6pm dinner and kids asleep by 7pm? If so how do you do it??

I thought 4.30 was strangely early and not something I could comprehend. BUt 3.30?!? For dinner? That's almost late lunch time? It's quite normal to have an after school snack (or in my grandparents world "tea" of a scone or slice of bread) to tide you over but an evening meal.

Did you eat an evening meal at 3.30 pre kids? I just can't quite imagine getting to a point where I'd think that was time for the evening meal!!

We have 2 DC - 8yo and 4yo - both in full-time education.

DH leaves for work a 4:15am so he is home early enough for dinner every evening. I, on the other hand, can be home mid afternoon or 7pm (final year student and my university is 60 miles away).

Both DC also do sports (swimming, gymnastics, running, etc.) on an evening.

As such, our routine is flexible. We always make sure there are healthy snacks (things like cooked chicken thighs, plain nuts, tomatoes, cucumber, apples, grapes, cheese) for the DC to grab from the fridge/cupboard when they get in from school. The eldest, in particular, needs a hearty snack as she does 2-3 hours gymnastics training some evenings. Our evening meal is usually between 5 and 7pm.

It works for us, and has done for the last few years.

I am gobsmacked you eat at 430. That just seems so early for a child, never mind an adult.

I would just give them more for lunch or a large snack after school, bath and pjs on and then dinner around 630 or 7.

We eat about 5, dh later. We are both ravenous by then, the advantage is that she doesn't snack and she wolfs down anything I put in front of her. She helps me cook and we often have whatever friend has turned up. I used to eat later when I didn't get home till 7 but I work school hours now so this really works for us.

I hate eating late now. I don't eat breakfast and only have a light lunch.

ps, we don't eat the the friend, just feed them.

Well we have an 8 year old and still don't eat together. DH doesn't get home until 7.30 and that is too late (for us) to do the whole meal and bedtime thing. Weekends OK though. We always ate together as a family, but my father was reliably home at 6pm on the dot - another hour and half makes a lot of difference.

I don't think half 4 is that early fir kids really. u think it's better to have a meal and crack on with homework or go play than to snack all afternoon.

going to bed on a full stomach is not good for you.

bedtime.is so important once they hit school. it affects their moods and their appetite and the behaviour if they don't get enough. little ones get exhausted at school and having a late tea really does risk them not eating anything or filling up on snacks and becoming wired by bed time.

that's what I've found anyway. now my two are a little older it's easier to get them to hang in. and after school activities or impromptu play out does mean sometimes dinner is pushed back and they manage ok.

but even at 5 and 9 it's still calmer and easier to have tea at 5/5.30 then be able to stagger bath and bed times than it is to have to rush and chuck them straight in bath after tea and try to make sure youngest is in bed by 7 at least.

If you feeding them chocolate button you are giving them caffeine so they won't sleep for ages
Same with sweet sugar rush
Time to knock them treats the head . No child needs sweet every day.

I also think. it's nicer fir the parent to come home to them already fed and then spend time doing the reading and having a snuggle while you do bath times and bed time than it is to literally throw food at everyone when they get in and spend all evening rushing about

We usually eat about 6.

If they have a snack after school it is something like a piece of fruit OR a digestive biscuit OR some cheese and a breadstick, so not huge.

Tea at 6pm
bath at 6.30
youngest out first and into pyjamas, oldest is usually slowest at eating tea so he often gets into the bath as youngest gets out
once youngest is watching Night Garden with a cup of milk I get the middle one out and into pyjamas, then oldest one last
Youngest and middle one go to bed about 7pm
Then there's some time to do school reading book with the oldest
Oldest is in bed by 7.30pm.

Whichever parent supervises bath time, the other cleans up the kitchen and puts the dishwasher on. If DP is working late I tend to do it after I get the youngest out of the bath as the older two don't need direct supervision.

My two are 4 and 1, and I work full time. The 4yo goes to a childminder after school and the 1yo is at a nursery. I pack the 4yo a afternoon snack. It has a sandwich, some fruit and one of those bear paw things (because she really really loves them). The 1yo has a high tea at nursery as well.

When I get home at 5.30, I get dinner ready for 6pm. We all sit down and eat, but I don't expect them to eat a full dinner. Just another small hot meal. I think the trick is not to see this as a very very large meal. But just a time where the whole family sits down. They should have enough food from the after school snack/high tea. In fact when we only have DD1 and she was at nursery, she never joined us for dinner. It's just somethhing we started this september when she starts school.

And yes, bath at 6.30. We clear away their food even if they don't finish.

Meal times are inevitably something of a function of all the external time constraints on a family. However, a large meal at 4:30 is really quite odd and suggests that breakfast and lunch are not sufficiently copious/nutritious.

Why?

we used to leave the house really early so breakfast was at like half six. lunch then around half 12 at school. waiting til 6/7 o clock for tea then meant 6/7 hours between meals. that's quite a big gap no matter how big your breakfast or lunch was.

if people are at work all day surely it makes more sense fir the CM to give tea around half 4 than it is to serve it up late evening.

But Giles the gap between breakfast and lunch is 6 hours (half six-half 12 you say), why does a child need dinner 4 hours after lunch? Another 6h after lunch would mean dinner at 6:30.

We have always eaten when I get home between 6pm-6.30pm (If I'm not back by then they eat without me, but that's rare.)

DH & DS have a snack straight after school. Usually a sandwich or fruit or yogurt (or all three) depending on how hungry they are. We don't eat pudding at dinner time or have snacks after dinner. DS doesn't mither for them because they've never been an option.

Families grow and change. What can't be made to work now will probably be fine in a couple of years. I would try family dinners a couple of times a week (say at weekends) and just do what gets you through the day the rest of the time.

6 to 8 hours between lunch and dinner is pretty standard across Europe.

I guess we eat 7am, around 12.30pm and 6pm.

Because schools start early and for the most part at least when the first start they are exhausted and eating at half six when ideally they should be in bed by seven just isn't conducive to a good night's sleep.

i realise people do what they can witg what they have and when it's weekends and holidays it doesn't matter what time anything is. but everything in this boy try is geared up fir annoyingly early starts and going to he'd soon after dinner on a full stomach is not comfortable. it only takes getting stuck.in traffic or a queue at the petrol station or quick detour to drop off a friend on way back from work to substantially delay things.

others maybe perfectly happy eating late. do what works for you. I'm. just saying with small children who have been at schoolor nursery all day and the very act of listening and following instructions and being sociable can in itself be exhausting when they are little, I think that getting to bed early calm and relaxed is more important.

as I said in my other posts it's not forever and when they are a bit bigger it's easier to extend timings. but there is often a window with kids and if you miss it they can be up fir some time. longer and much more wired or emotional

on bus excuse typos. you get the gist

Not quite - we manage a 5:30 dinner and bed by 7.
Both of us work full-time so getting dinner done by 5:30 is the biggest challenge (lots of meal planning, batch cooking, slow cooking etc.)
2yo DD is still spoonfed so one of us has to feed her whilst the other eats, then we swap.

The time between 5-7 is like a military exercise in our house and there is no room for slackers

Some nights we just feed the kids and then eat something nice (spicy) after hours. I love cooking on an evening with a glass of wine, all relaxed like, and really miss it so try to do this every couple of weeks.

yy it's the same here dinner between 5 and 5.30 and then it's action stations

dd2 not so much now as she's older but dd1 definately needs bed no later than 7.30 and on days we have swimming and dinner is later fir that reason I hate it. I hate throwing her in the bath straight after dinner she barely has time to speak to her daddy.

pair that with a Sunday when both are in their jammies by half six and they can sit and relax and chat or read a book til bed it's far nicer.

luckily fir us the rest if the week it's not a problem but if I had to choose between say a 4.30 tea and one at half 6 I'd take the 4.30 any day.

Why are they eating at 4.30 then you're eating between 5 and 5.30? That's even more bizarre.

dinner at 5.30 would be more of an ok time than 4

I am totally perplexed about sending kids to be at 7pm and being confused about them still being awake an house later.

Clearly the children aren't tired. Put them to bed at 8 and they'll go straight asleep. Simples.

Since when is 7 a compulsory bedtime?

We don't have a sit-down family dinner except on weekends.

The kids get home from school between 4 and 5 and are ravenous. It's easier for me to just have supper ready by the time they're home.

Husband and I eat much later.

I interact with them no less than I would if we were eating together.