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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask those of you who have a later family dinner get young dc to bed on time?

180 replies

Newtothis2015 · 20/10/2015 10:41

My 2 and 6 year old normally eat dinner at 4.30pm with me, there dad gets home at 6pm and reheats his later. I have been doing a trial of us all eating dinner at 6pm and it is not working for the following:
1: dd is starving after school and is eating a dinner sizes snack after school (think toast, biscuits, cheese, sausage rolls, Apple, all at once!)
2: it takes youngest dd 45 minutes to eat dinner as she is slow and steady and has a pudding too which she also eats slow and steady
3: dh sometimes has a late lunch at work and doesn't always want to eat straight after work
4: I am tired by 6.45pm and am slow at cleaning the kitchen
5: the kids are not in bed until 7.30 with a 6 dinner and take an hour to fall asleep so are not asleep until 8.30 and do not want to wake in the mornings

Shall I put this down as not working? Or are there any of you who manage a 6pm dinner and kids asleep by 7pm? If so how do you do it??

OP posts:
DrasticAction · 20/10/2015 21:30

I always find these threads fascinating I suppose the precise timing of the meal gets me.

We eat at about - 6.30 sometimes its served by 7 ish, sometimes, later.

we are 3 and 8. we cant eat earlier as we are out. dc go to bed at 8pm, but older one messes round and falls asleep later, we aim to get toddler into bed at 8, but depending on what she woke up and whether she had a nap will affect that time.

my dc have a snack after school, toast, and milk or banana and toast etc, then have dinner

to me eating dinner at 4.30 sounds extraordinarily early and they have a long long night having eaten so early to sustain them...

DrasticAction · 20/10/2015 21:30

I always find these threads fascinating I suppose the precise timing of the meal gets me.

We eat at about - 6.30 sometimes its served by 7 ish, sometimes, later.

we are 3 and 8. we cant eat earlier as we are out. dc go to bed at 8pm, but older one messes round and falls asleep later, we aim to get toddler into bed at 8, but depending on what she woke up and whether she had a nap will affect that time.

my dc have a snack after school, toast, and milk or banana and toast etc, then have dinner

to me eating dinner at 4.30 sounds extraordinarily early and they have a long long night having eaten so early to sustain them...

DrasticAction · 20/10/2015 21:30

I always find these threads fascinating I suppose the precise timing of the meal gets me.

We eat at about - 6.30 sometimes its served by 7 ish, sometimes, later.

we are 3 and 8. we cant eat earlier as we are out. dc go to bed at 8pm, but older one messes round and falls asleep later, we aim to get toddler into bed at 8, but depending on what she woke up and whether she had a nap will affect that time.

my dc have a snack after school, toast, and milk or banana and toast etc, then have dinner

to me eating dinner at 4.30 sounds extraordinarily early and they have a long long night having eaten so early to sustain them...

DrasticAction · 20/10/2015 21:30

I always find these threads fascinating I suppose the precise timing of the meal gets me.

We eat at about - 6.30 sometimes its served by 7 ish, sometimes, later.

we are 3 and 8. we cant eat earlier as we are out. dc go to bed at 8pm, but older one messes round and falls asleep later, we aim to get toddler into bed at 8, but depending on what she woke up and whether she had a nap will affect that time.

my dc have a snack after school, toast, and milk or banana and toast etc, then have dinner

to me eating dinner at 4.30 sounds extraordinarily early and they have a long long night having eaten so early to sustain them...

DrasticAction · 20/10/2015 21:30

I always find these threads fascinating I suppose the precise timing of the meal gets me.

We eat at about - 6.30 sometimes its served by 7 ish, sometimes, later.

we are 3 and 8. we cant eat earlier as we are out. dc go to bed at 8pm, but older one messes round and falls asleep later, we aim to get toddler into bed at 8, but depending on what she woke up and whether she had a nap will affect that time.

my dc have a snack after school, toast, and milk or banana and toast etc, then have dinner

to me eating dinner at 4.30 sounds extraordinarily early and they have a long long night having eaten so early to sustain them...

DrasticAction · 20/10/2015 21:30
Blush

this is the second times it happened to me today sorry dont know whats wrong

Sazzle41 · 20/10/2015 21:35

45minutes is a long time. As other posters said, can they have fruit and/or yogurt with a plain biscuit and drink when they come in. Then no pudding after dinner. Weekends when there is no work and less rush you can worry about family dinner. Its not working now so why stress. Try again re weekdays when they are older.

Artandco · 20/10/2015 21:36

Can I ask, those who feed last meal at 4.30pm, what time do they wake in the morning?

I always think it's mean to make them go more than 12 hrs over night so 7.30pm dinner, means if they woke at say 6am I would say back to bed. But if they woke 6am after 4.30pm dinner I would assume they were hungry and let them get up and eat.

Katarzyna79 · 20/10/2015 21:46

my 5 yr old has just started reception a few days ago she usually has hot meals for lunch, but now its sandwiches. When she gets in she is famished, so rather than stuffing her face with snacks which I think is rubbish id rather she have her dinner its usually 3.45pm. She doesn't always finish it, and I reheat it for her by 4.30 by which time her little sister eats with her. 30-40 mins before bed they have their milk and a snack if they wish. Then a few minutes to themselves before bed.

They get up between 6-7am with the older 2 who are 8 and 9. they don't awake with hunger at night, if they were getting up sporadically id put it down to hunger.

Artandco · 20/10/2015 21:54

Kat - that's mad though. 3.30pm is not evening. It's the middle of the day. If she's having sandwiches I assume it's a packed lunch. Why don't you give her more filling lunch instead, like boiled eggs, chicken, pasta, cheese, et

Artandco · 20/10/2015 21:55

Kat - that's mad though. 3.30pm is not evening. It's the middle of the day. If she's having sandwiches I assume it's a packed lunch. Why don't you give her more filling lunch instead, like boiled eggs, chicken, pasta, cheese, et

Katarzyna79 · 20/10/2015 22:06

she hates eggs apparently this is a new thing she used to love them. She wont eat cold pasta or chicken, I did suggest pasta cold, id warm it up so it wouldn't be freezing but shes refusing.

She is very limited in sandwich filling this is her first week of full time school so far she has only accepted chocolate filling and cheese filling. Shes allergic to fish so cant give tuna mayo. Egg mayo she wont have coz of the eggs.

I give her other treats in her box, cheese filled crackers, a sweet treat, vegetable batons, milkshake, yoghurt, fruit etc, sometimes crisps but that's rare.

You think I should give her a snack when she gets in? Shes really bad she will snack untildinner, then come dinner she refuses to eat

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/10/2015 22:08

kat

if she's so hungry she can't wait an hour longer fir tea then you really need to either investigate what's being served and complain if need be or send a packed lunch.

Katarzyna79 · 20/10/2015 22:10

shes not an adventurous eater very fussy my oldest son is the same and hes not changed much. I may get her a thermos those dinky wide ones for soup, some folks put noodles in them too and pasta but shed have to practise using it at home first shes only just got used to the lunchbox lol

Katarzyna79 · 20/10/2015 22:17

shes not had a school dinner yet, because she will be limited. she has a veg diet for school . she hates veg sausages, she hates quorn type burgers, she hates peas , actually shes allergic to peas and pulses, allergic to fish . I thought a packed lunch would be the best option for her. With a school dinner she'd prob eat less or dispose of it without eating. if shes forced to eat something she doesn't like like the veg meat type products she throws up, in some schools they make them eat most of whats on the plate don't they, shed vomit on the plate, shes done it at home when ive tried to make her eat certain veg, nightmare.

I'll just have to get her used to cold foods for variety, she does love her pasta lol

Katarzyna79 · 20/10/2015 22:18

shes not had a school dinner yet, because she will be limited. she has a veg diet for school . she hates veg sausages, she hates quorn type burgers, she hates peas , actually shes allergic to peas and pulses, allergic to fish . I thought a packed lunch would be the best option for her. With a school dinner she'd prob eat less or dispose of it without eating. if shes forced to eat something she doesn't like like the veg meat type products she throws up, in some schools they make them eat most of whats on the plate don't they, shed vomit on the plate, shes done it at home when ive tried to make her eat certain veg, nightmare.

I'll just have to get her used to cold foods for variety, she does love her pasta lol

SconeForAStroll · 20/10/2015 22:24

I am always really impressed by how many posters have dhs that are home early enough to eat together.

My dh has rarely been home ever before 8.30pm, often he isn't home until 9.30. He leaves at 7.10am. Weekends are the only time we eat together.

LittleBearPad · 20/10/2015 23:01

Surely at 3.30 then a snack is more sensible than the first of two bits of dinner?

OP if you do want to move dinner back could you nudge it back 15 mins every few days to get to where you want to.

Scone I know what you mean. DH is rarely home before 8. Sometimes I eat with him. Sometimes I eat with the kids (about 6ish). He usually comes home to pasta sauce / curry etc and he/I bung on the pasta/rice etc.

EternalDalmatian · 20/10/2015 23:13

Dc are 5 and 7 and dinner varies between 5.15pm and 6.15. If dh and I are both home then we all eat together...if dh is in work until later then the dc eat together and I keep mine and dh's for when he's in, and vice versa if i'm working late. It's rare that either dh or I eat alone with the dc.

They will usually have a piece of fruit or a yoghurt after school. If dinner is planned for more of a 6.15 time then they'll have both to keep them going.

Bedtime is between 7pm and 8pm, depending on what time we've had dinner.

Some of the times on here at the more extreme end of things - 4pm or 7m for dinner - sound really odd to me!

shutupanddance · 20/10/2015 23:15

We eat at 7 youngest 2, its when dh gets in. Toddler eats better if has a cooked dinner at lunch time. I would like to change ir really.

lachattequirit · 20/10/2015 23:21

I always find these threads fascinating I suppose the precise timing of the meal gets me

Drastic - I feel like this too and wonder if our family life is a bit chaotic compared to others. We have 3 meals a day but no real routine for set meal times. Some days I'm working, so DS will have already has 3 meals at misery. Some days DH is away or home after 9. We usually have dinner sometime between 5:30 and 7, whatever is easiest on the day.
Family dinners are nice but if eating together means no one is eating when they want it's probably not worth it.

lachattequirit · 20/10/2015 23:22

Misery = nursery Grin

lachattequirit · 20/10/2015 23:25

Also DS goes to bed about 8:30. I don't think it's possible to have dinner at 6 and kids asleep by 7.
Either eat earlier or go to bed later.

Forgetmenotblue · 20/10/2015 23:37

We do several two part meals each day! This is because of work and childcare stuff.

Breakfast part one....at home, toast or cereal or pancakes. Part two is something portable,to have at the childminders just before school so they don't get hungry mid morning, e.g a croissant, a piece of fruit.

Dinner is much the same..."big snack" after school, toast, oat cakes, yoghurt, fruit, banana bread or cake, at about 4.30ish. Part two is at about 7 and is just the main meal (no pudding) and a simple thing e.g macaroni cheese, spag Bol, served with one green veg or salad, so minimal cooking and clearing.

Homework, baths, to etc and all in bed for 8.15

Forestdreams · 20/10/2015 23:43

Lachatte Grin

I think up to a point, though, you get hungry at your normal mealtimes. If I'm in the habit of eating at 12, I'm famished by 12. But if I'm used to eating a 1pm, generally I'm fine at 12. When my 2 were at nursery they had tea at 4pm and we rarely fed them after, just gave them bedtime milk. It didn't make any difference to their waking times. One was an early riser then but she still is now, even when she's had gym until 8pm.

Katarzyna it is such early days for your DD at school. Things will settle. I find starting a new job hugely stressful and I'm absolutely knackered by the end of the day at first. It must be much worse than that for a 4 year old starting school. All the new people, new rules, new routine. And full grown adults get through the day on a sandwich lunch, i'm sure that is fine for a 4 year old. The important thing is she eats something. My 8 year old loves pasta salad but she finds it so filling, she only eats a tiny amount. She eats much more sandwich than pasta salad. If you're worried, wraps are easy to eat and surprisingly high calorie.