Page 3 | To ask those of you who have a later family dinner get young dc to bed on time?

Newtothis2015 · 2015-10-20T09:41:08+00:00

My 2 and 6 year old normally eat dinner at 4.30pm with me, there dad gets home at 6pm and reheats his later. I have been doing a trial of us all eating dinner at 6pm and it is not working for the following: 1: dd is starving after school and is eating a dinner sizes snack after school (think toast, biscuits, cheese, sausage rolls, Apple, all at once!) 2: it takes youngest dd 45 minutes to eat dinner as she is slow and steady and has a pudding too which she also eats slow and steady 3: dh sometimes has a late lunch at work and doesn't always want to eat straight after work 4: I am tired by 6.45pm and am slow at cleaning the kitchen 5: the kids are not in bed until 7.30 with a 6 dinner and take an hour to fall asleep so are not asleep until 8.30 and do not want to wake in the mornings Shall I put this down as not working? Or are there any of you who manage a 6pm dinner and kids asleep by 7pm? If so how do you do it??

RapidlyOscillating · 20/10/2015 13:12

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stoppingbywoods · 20/10/2015 13:19

Why not have high tea when they come home.
Then bath time.
Then supper as a family - you eat your dinner, they eat hot chocolate and sausage roll. This could double as their messing about time if you're happy to eat anywhere.
Then sleep. And train them to go to sleep on their own so you can get red up during that time.

Forestdreams · 20/10/2015 13:20

It will get easier when they don't have to be in bed so early.

My 2 are 6 and 8 and I still feed them separately, but they need to finish tea by 5.30 or they will wet the bed, and DH doesn't get home til 7.00.

MrsJayy · 20/10/2015 13:28

Up until dd2 was 5/6 I made dinner for 5 i ate with them usually dh was either in or not he re heated when he got in I think doing what works for you is fine especially with your toddler eat later at the weekends.

fififolle · 20/10/2015 13:45

Perhaps the sweets/buttons after the meal including pudding are sending they're sugar levels too high before bed. We've noticed a big difference in the time taken to settle by our 5year old just by restricting sugar late in the day.m

FragileBrittleStar · 20/10/2015 13:47

when DS was little preschool- we used to all eat together later - but then he went to bed later (8-9).
Now he's at school he wants to eat earlier- normally between 5- 6 on school days. I tend to eat with DP later after DS is asleep around 8.
I try and make sure we have weekend meals together

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 20/10/2015 13:48

OP I'm wondering how much your dd eats at lunchtime? Just thinking out loud that that might be your answer to pushing teatime back a bit.

When mine were smaller we usually ate at about 5-5.30pm. I'm wondering if you could gradually push tea back to being a bit later? Then you could sometimes eat with them and/or dh could sit and eat his meal while they finish theirs?

The only other thing I wondered was whether early bath (ie before tea) might streamline bedtime and also distract your dd from asking for snacks.

Having said all that, it's not really the end of the world if they eat earlier for a few years. My youngest was a nightmare if not fed tea pretty early for years and now is very flexible at the grand old age of 8 - this won't last forever.

My lot would happily eat at 6 now but evening activities mean they're now actually having to eat earlier - and dh not usually home until after 7. Grr.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 20/10/2015 13:50

Good point fifi - I try not to give dc3 chocolate after tea as it inevitably means he's bouncing off the walls afterwards and it makes getting him to bed a nightmare. Could be a coincidence but worth a try?

troubleatmillcock · 20/10/2015 14:16

I have recently changed my and DH schedule to fit with 2 year old DS, so we all eat together now at 5:30pm - 6pm. Bit chaotic but there you go.

Before we used to feed DS, put him to bed at 7pm, then eat our dinner but it felt like we were all night cooking and messing around in the kitchen. Fair enough its more leisurely if DS is asleep, but during the week I'd rather have more 'me' time in the evenings. Plus its fun to eat as a family.

Now we all eat together and dinner is done by 6m, so the evening seems longer.

Plus I am starving by 5:30pm, and needed a snack to tide me over - which means I ate more. Just have dinner instead, works for us.

ifonly4 · 20/10/2015 14:31

I always used to eat with DD around 5-5.30pm. You say they have the odd sweet, chocolate buttons - how about saying they can only have it if they eat quickly. I used to clear the kitchen and start preparing DH's tea while DD finished and then bath was around 6.30pm with the aim to be in PJs by 7pm and 30-60 mins relaxation. Hopefully at this point, DH was home and eaten and he could then spend a few mins with DD talking about their day and reading a story - she always knew that was her final wind down time before bed, and we didn't mess around.

thegiddylimit · 20/10/2015 14:51

DH and I both work FT so we've always eaten tea with the kids (7, 6 and 3) between 6.30 and 7.00 (or later) since we're not home before 5.30. Bedtime is suppose to be 8.00 but is often later, then they are up at 7am again. They are used to it so it's not an issue whereas for your kids it must be a bit of a shock to the system to have tea 2 hour later than their normal.

If you want to move their teatime I'd try and make it a bit later at the weekend to begin with when it doesn't matter if they are tired in the morning and slowly move it towards your ideal time.

reni2 · 20/10/2015 16:05

Keyser- it's not so much sophistication that drives a later mealtime in our house as the wish to eat together. I'm not comfortable with having several mealtimes, that would feel a bit institutional. And if we ate at 5 no doubt another meal would be required at 7-8. I don't think it's a bad thing to be a bit hungry for an hour. That said, a banana after school helps a lot.

BlingBubbles · 20/10/2015 16:08

My LO's 9months and 4years old) eat at 16:30 /17:00 and are in bed by 18:30 / 19:00. DH is normally only home at 18:00 on a good day so there is no way we could eat together. The kids are normally knackered by 18:00 and are calming down for bed.

DH does bedtime stories with DD and put DS to sleep and then we eat at about 20:00. I could never eat at 17:30, it wouldnt feel like dinner ;)

On weekends we will all eat breakfast and lunch together.

This works well for us, I guess once the kids are bigger than we will amend the schedule and see what will work best then.

plantsitter · 20/10/2015 16:12

Mine are 5 & 6 and we've been trying it, but not every night. More like once or twice a week (and both weekend days).

I thought it would be good because the kids have started being really fussy fuckers eaters and I feel less emotionally attached if we can just chat about our day - plus I only have to cook once.

However if it feels too difficult I'd leave it for a few years. I do feel like I'm staving the kids off with fruit for hours before they can have their tea on late-tea nights!

Artandco · 20/10/2015 17:59

But it's not bad for children to feel hungry. If they have eaten breakfast and lunch and no doubt some snack of some sort, they can't be that hungry. Yes maybe hungry as in I'm ready for dinner soon, but not actual hunger and starvation when they last ate a banana about 3 hrs before and a full lunch 3 hrs before that

SharkSkinThing · 20/10/2015 21:00

I eat with my 5 yo DS around 4.30/5pm as he is always ravenous after school. DP eats later as doesn't get home until 7pm, by which time DS is in bed having stories.

On a Friday DS has pizza on the sofa, and I eat a grown-up (ie curry!) meal with DP a bit later. At the weekend we all eat at the same times, generally 5, 5.30pm for tea.

For me, having a tricky sleeper who wakes at 5am and needs to be in bed for 7/7.30pm, this takes priority over shared meal times (and he eats with me in the week!).

Maybe try in the summer, when it's a bit lighter and they are a little older?

Katarzyna79 · 20/10/2015 21:10

op I would say do not stress, your life will be easier if you let them eat dinner as soon as they get in I can imagine the youngest snacking my eldest is 9 and he heads straight for the snacks too.

you should eat your dinner with them and have a snack before bed if youre peckish. This way you get some well deserved "me time". On the weekends you can eat together. When they are older there will be many opportunities to eat together.

My children don't go to sleep straight away either, unless I put them to bed separately, if they go at the same time they use it as an opportunity to chat and play games.

I have a nightmare though, I get zero rest. My youngest 2 are usually in bed by 6.30pm. At 7.30pm I get my dad and mils dinner ready, it would be easier if they ate a bit earlier but my father refuses. At this point I go to sit, thinking I'll get a rest, but then my older 2 kids and their father get in at 8pm then it's time to feed them. After that I have the bombsite to tidy up. It's usually 9.30-10 before I sit because of their baths .I find it hard to relax so I forgo my meal and go for a long shower. I try to watch something to chill out but usually nod off on my laptop, life is really tough.

Hang in there you are doing your best nothing wrong with your previous routine!

DrasticAction · 20/10/2015 21:29

I always find these threads fascinating I suppose the precise timing of the meal gets me.

We eat at about - 6.30 sometimes its served by 7 ish, sometimes, later.

we are 3 and 8. we cant eat earlier as we are out. dc go to bed at 8pm, but older one messes round and falls asleep later, we aim to get toddler into bed at 8, but depending on what she woke up and whether she had a nap will affect that time.