To have a cuddle in bed with nearly 13yo ds?

[ScottishGlen]

My dc have always enjoyed snuggling in bed with dh and I - usually on a weekend morning before everyone gets up. We didn't co-sleep except when the dc were ill.

My ds is nearly 13. He will sometimes join me in bed for 5-10 minutes when he gets up, before going downstairs to make his breakfast. He lays next to me with an arm round my middle - sometimes snoozing and sometimes having a chat. I cherish these times as they are very peaceful and cosy. Sometimes he will tell me about what he is looking forward to at school and if there is anything worrying him this is likely to be the time he tells me.

I thought nothing of this until reading an article in the newspaper about a lady who was on Loose Women. She said she co-slept with her children until they were nearly 10 and received a lot of criticism for doing this.

It made me wonder about ds. What do you think?

I think you'll find you're in a minority with that Iamloved

Iamlovedbyg
What would you say to your child if he asked for a cuddle then?

It's not weird it's normal. My sons are 15 and 19 and 6'4" but they still love our bed and cuddling their mum and sit on my lap too!
In fact, if we weren't such all so tall we'd probably all chat in our bed. Best and most relaxed conversations, and also the stuff that's really bothering them comes out then too.
DH usually thrown out by his sons.

Mine are 23,22, 21 and 18... and all will come in for a cuddle now and again if they are here (two are living away now). Usually on a saturday morning I'll get 'budge up Mum!' and they will lie next to me and chat about their lives... I love it!!!

The only time it gave me a shock was one morning, DH was on nights so I'd gone to bed alone, rolled over in the morning to find a snoring body next to me... with hair! (DH is bald). Turned out DS1 had lent his bed to a friend for the night so just got in with me in the night!!!! He's 22... :D

Am ridiculously excited that this thread has made discussions of the day! What started as me questioning my mother's natural instinct has turned into tales of family love and warmth. How refreshing!

Fine, it's totally innocent. It's lovely he still wants moments like this with his mum - treasure them.

IamlovedbyG:
All things are pure to the pure in mind. He's not making a grab for her breasts! It's a lovely son and mum moment that should be cherished. If he's still doing it when he's 40, it might be time to worry

IamlovedbyG don't be daft. What's weird about a cuddle with your DS?

I'm nearly 50 and I still tell my mum to budge up for a cuddle.

My 12 Dd sometimes asks for a C.I.B.
(Cuddle in bed ) I mostly always say yes because it's the only time she's nice at the mo !

The younger one not so keen, because it means she doesn't get to sneakily read herself to sleep.

Loose Women is the devil's work.

Oh I love this thread.

I regularly cuddle 10 year old ds to sleep and sometimes sleep in his bed for a good part of the night. Family have made me feel a bit crap about it, but reading this thread has made me feel better.

You're not co-sleeping, you all have the privacy of your own beds and he's the one instigating it. I think it's lovely! Absolutely do not breath a word to any of his friends, but definitely enjoy it as long as it lasts

IamlovedbyG. Just to be clear - I did not mention "spooning" with my son or him "lying behind me with his hand draped over my middle" I have no idea where you got this from. As described in my original post, he snuggles up to me and puts his arm round my waist. Fortunately your view that this is "f*ing weird" seems to be in a minority.

I would not have dreamed wanting to cuddle up to my dm as she was a nasty, moody, bad tempered unmaternal piece of work. So if your child CHOOSES to snuggle up with you then you are a most wonderful, kind and loving mother and just the type of mother any child would wish for :)

Ds1 who is 22 still Gets on bed talks to both me and his dad Cwtches in its lush do also get his girlfriend doing it aswell sometimes think may aswell live in our room on bed
Ds2 is 9 and sleeps in with us regular making the most of it to be honest Enjoy the time

I saw the article too. The lady from dragon's den?

There's a difference between co-sleeping and snuggling in bed in the morning. Not to say either are wrong... Every child is different.

Your ds sounds like an angel (compared to some of the little *** that live around here)! You must have a lovely relationship :) Enjoy it and don't worry about what anyone else thinks! It may embarrass his friends if you mention it to them though :')

Up until my mum died a couple of years ago, we used to cuddle on the sofa all the time. We always had a close relationship, but never co-slept.

If it is to any relevance... I am now 25, moved in with my fiancee earlier in the year and getting married next month - Still partial to a snuggle, now it is with my h2b :)

These stories are lovely.

I did not have that kind of relationship with my own parents, but DD who is 9 is always welcome in my bed, whether because of a bad dream/illness or just because she fancies a cuddle. I love it and hope it continues for many years like so many of you lucky mothers!

A teenager is not a grown up, usually. I would hope that of course they would want their mums sometimes, unless those mothers are weird, hard, cold and emotionally unavailable like mine was.

I go and sit on my parent's bed for a chat if we stay at theirs or share a holiday cottage. DS climbs in with them, I stick my feet under the duvet when I'm cold.

Ha! My best friend's then 16yo DS would stay up half the night watching Saw movies - and then have get into my friend's bed for a cuddle before going back to his own bed to sleep (the silly sod). YANBU!

It us often the case nowadays that DS wakes up long after I am out and about. But I certainly enjoy when he snuggles up with me for a few minutes before he goes to bed.

We have a movie night every now and then when we get in PJs and snuggle in bed with a movie and hot chocolate. I know this won't last forever, and I never know if "tonight is the last time". He is growing up so quickly, and demanding more independence day by day, So I am enjoying the cuddles while they last.

Anyone who is unable to differentiate between motherly love and other types is sick/sad or both or perhaps they had some sort of trauma which is very sad indeed but of course would make them unable to relate to the instinctual motherly love we are talking about :(

Naw. Boys need just as much (if not more due to society restricting them) cuddles as girls do. Soak it up while you can. :)

DS (20) got in our bed this morning to cuddle DH (and then asked me to get back in for a family hug)