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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have a cuddle in bed with nearly 13yo ds?

126 replies

ScottishGlen · 18/10/2015 21:15

My dc have always enjoyed snuggling in bed with dh and I - usually on a weekend morning before everyone gets up. We didn't co-sleep except when the dc were ill.

My ds is nearly 13. He will sometimes join me in bed for 5-10 minutes when he gets up, before going downstairs to make his breakfast. He lays next to me with an arm round my middle - sometimes snoozing and sometimes having a chat. I cherish these times as they are very peaceful and cosy. Sometimes he will tell me about what he is looking forward to at school and if there is anything worrying him this is likely to be the time he tells me.

I thought nothing of this until reading an article in the newspaper about a lady who was on Loose Women. She said she co-slept with her children until they were nearly 10 and received a lot of criticism for doing this.

It made me wonder about ds. What do you think?

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 18/10/2015 21:40

My dd is 16 and has only just stopped wanting to be cuddled. Sad.
I could still put her on a butty and eat her all up. Enjoy those snuggles for as long as you can. As far as I'm concerned you're never too old for one of your mums snuggles. You son sounds like an absolute diamond, btw

inchoccyheaven · 18/10/2015 21:41

Ds1 stopped co sleeping with me at 10 1/2 yrs and ds2 will still come in if he is scared or lonely etc and he is 13. Its nice but he does take up a lot of room!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 18/10/2015 21:42

Paul. Flowers.

spiderlight · 18/10/2015 21:42

Enjoy it!! My 8-year-old DS still loves cwtching up to me in bed and would sleep in with me every night if he could get away with it (and he snores less than DH, but DH gets fed up of the spare bed!). There's absolutely nothing wrong with it so make the most of it.

ScottishGlen · 18/10/2015 21:45

Your responses have made me feel all warm inside! Sounds like everyone should be doing plenty of dc snuggling in bed, regardless of their age.

OP posts:
GurlwiththeCurl · 18/10/2015 21:46

My DSs still do this, when they want a chat, a hug or some comfort when things aren't going well. I am almost totally bedridden, so I am always available to them when they are around.

They are in their mid-20s!

Muddlewitch · 18/10/2015 21:47

Nothing wrong with it op, it's a cuddle not co-sleeping anyway.

DS15 will come and flop next to me in bed on weekend mornings if I am having a lie in, usually to share random YouTube videos on his phone with me ( currently 'what are those?' Videos) I think it's lovely.

thewavesofthesea · 18/10/2015 21:50

Really hope my boys will be doing this when they are teenagers! Oldest is 6 now and both love their cuddles. Sounds lovely

Youarentkiddingme · 18/10/2015 21:51

My DS 11 loves finding me laying in bed or on my bed. It's his chance to take the biggest running jump and fly through the air landing next to me!
He's not a cuddly boy and doesn't lay still but I love the fact he wants to come and be with his mum!

lavenderhoney · 18/10/2015 21:52

Mine are always coming in for a cuddle and often ask to sleep in my bed. My ex dh didn't like my ds doing it from about 2 onwards and said it wasn't normal infront of ds. Awful. Neither dc ever wanted to come in for a cuddle with him about. Or co sleep with him.

Since I left, they come in early mornings and sometimes they want to co sleep. It's fine-and I'm sure they'll grow out of it.

WizardOfToss · 18/10/2015 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skinnyamericano · 18/10/2015 21:52

I will be sleeping with my 13 yo DS tonight (think he might be mortified at the thought of co-sleeping!), as my DH has got a terrible cough and has been banished to DS's room.

There is nothing weird about it - he's my son. (Better not snore though!)

justgoandgetalife · 18/10/2015 21:53

My DS12 often joins me if I have a lie in (not often!) or enjoys watching a particular TV series snuggled up under the duvet. Yummy! His older brothers wouldn't dream of it though! It's so nice to have 'just' a cuddle with someone who loves you without strings attached, iyswim?

GirlsTimesThree · 18/10/2015 21:53

DH was away last week. Around midnight DD3 (17 and the only one still at home full time) crept in and climbed into bed next to me. She couldn't sleep and wanted a cuddle. It was so lovely.
The older two are 21 and 19 and they still come and sit on my knee when they're home (which is a bit uncomfortable as they're 5'10" and 5'11"!), and the family tradition of getting into one bed on birthdays and Christmas mornings still seems to be going strong!
They're so busy living their own lives most of the time, I cherish the moments when they still want that closeness.

justgoandgetalife · 18/10/2015 21:54

Reading my last post sounds a bit yuck but wasn't meant to be!

sleeponeday · 18/10/2015 21:56

I can only hope mine will want that cuddle time at 13. It sounds lovely.

Paula Flowers

Jerseyknit · 18/10/2015 22:00

Co sleeping and snuggling with your children is most definitely not odd or weird. I can't imagine why anyone would think it is. I enjoy nothing more than getting my teenage ds in a headlock and forcing him to spend more than two seconds in my company Grin. I was still cuddling my granny at twenty. How lovely OP, enjoy every second.

OfficeGirl1969 · 18/10/2015 22:05

Aww, reminds me of Sunday mornings with all lot up to them being about 15/16, they'd still sneak in for a morning squeeze/leap on the bed until one of us almost vomited......
They're all adult and away from home now but it was lovely!

Gatehouse77 · 18/10/2015 22:05

DH and I co-slept with our DDs on holiday as we were in a hotel for 3 nights with 2 doubles and a pullout. DS (16) had the pullout, DH and DD1 (14) in one myself and DD2 (12) the other. It felt like we were camping out!

DS has had some challenging times recently as, on occasion, has co-slept with DH.

Those that think it's weird are imposing their adult connotations onto an innocent situation.

pnutter · 18/10/2015 22:06

This morning ds 21 who was just visiting and dd 9 and I all cuddled in bed watching YouTube . It was something I will now cherish as its so rare. They are still my babies ?

StrumpersPlunkett · 18/10/2015 22:11

Ds1 is nearly 12 and goes to sleep each night after I have snuggled in with him for 5 mins tickling his back, he is strong willed and would be very quick to say if he wanted me to stop.
I love it and I think he does too.

imwithspud · 18/10/2015 22:11

Sounds lovely, I never had that sort of relationship with my own mum but I hope I can create that bond with my own dc. I don't see why anyone would criticise you for it. Those people must be very strange.

Wishfulmakeupping · 18/10/2015 22:14

I read comments on that story with great sadness- of course there's nothing wrong with it OP its just such a shame people out there think that there is.

gameru · 18/10/2015 22:18

I co-slept with my DS until he was 14. Nothing wrong with co-sleeping or bedtime cuddles at all. I'm sure there are people out there who find it weird or odd, but I don't tolerate their judginess.

donajimena · 18/10/2015 22:19

My older son has just been in for a cuddle, he's 12. It's lovely but he's been kicked out now (nicely)