To have a cuddle in bed with nearly 13yo ds?

[ScottishGlen]

My dc have always enjoyed snuggling in bed with dh and I - usually on a weekend morning before everyone gets up. We didn't co-sleep except when the dc were ill.

My ds is nearly 13. He will sometimes join me in bed for 5-10 minutes when he gets up, before going downstairs to make his breakfast. He lays next to me with an arm round my middle - sometimes snoozing and sometimes having a chat. I cherish these times as they are very peaceful and cosy. Sometimes he will tell me about what he is looking forward to at school and if there is anything worrying him this is likely to be the time he tells me.

I thought nothing of this until reading an article in the newspaper about a lady who was on Loose Women. She said she co-slept with her children until they were nearly 10 and received a lot of criticism for doing this.

It made me wonder about ds. What do you think?

Nothing wrong with that at all

A few months ago our oldest DS19 went out for a drink with some work buddies,he's very liked there and so they all bought him drinks(far to many of them)we got a phonecall at just gone midnight he was very much the worse for wear bless him(it's not something that usually happens) so DH and second oldest DS17 went and picked him up.

His father had to give him a firemans lift to his room,it was a sight DH is 6FT and oldest DS is now nearly 6ft 2,he felt so ill the poor little sod and he asked his Dad if he'd cuddle him in his bed for a little while and he did

It looked so sweet,his brother DS17 asked him if he could remember anything about the night before unsuprisingly he couldn't remember much but he could remember me bringing him some water and tucking him in and his Dad cuddling him whilst he fell asleep,he was really grateful bless him

DS co-slept with me on and off until he was 10 or so. Funnily enough I hated sleeping with him when he was a baby as I was afraid I'd smother him or something and he slept fine alone but then we moved house when he was 3 and he started coming in to our bed more and more.

We ended up with him sleeping with me every night and I remember a friend be horrified when DS was around 7 and still sleeping with me. My view was that he obv felt he needed the closeness.

He is now 14 and has to be really ill to want to sleep with me. He does sometimes wander n to my room and lie along the bottom of the bed for a few minutes. Usually heralds a moan about something!

He is not a hugger now which is sad so I make the most of him crushing my feet when he lies on the bed!

People who do co-sleep, doesn't it ruin your sex life with your husband? I've often wondered how that works.

No it doesn't oyster unless you have no imagination and think it always has to be done in a bed.

I don't even share a bedroom with my husband and things are fine in that department

My boss gets in bed with her 13yo DS and they cuddle. Both seem to love it.

I did find it creepy when she told me but both my brother and I were teen horror shows with nothing but contempt for our mother so that probably colours my view! (I will point out that my mother has many faults and admits that she was a horrible parent when we were younger)

Ds 9 sleeps in with me regularly enough as he's asmathic and sometimes I need to have him near.

And then, at times, he just comes in for a cuddle and a chat. Because I'm his mum and it's lovely.

Don't worry, OP. I think the people who see something sinister in it are the ones we need to worry about! :)

What a lovely thread this has turned into! So much warmth, and so many loving families! :)

My 10 and my 13 year old sons come in for morning snooze/snuggle most mornings. It is a great way to wake up!

That's lovely I hope my son still wants to do this when he is 14. Embrace it! My son is 8 and will come in my room every morning, tell me the time and then gets in my side of the bed to give me a quick cuddle. It is probably the only time I can get a cuddle out of him! My parents were not affectionate, but I am very affectionate towards my own children. How anyone can find cuddling their own children creepy is beyond me!

My DC have always been very cuddly, especially DS. He turned 14 recently and I especially treasured a cuddle on his birthday as it made me think he might grow out of this sometime soon. I'm hoping it will just gradually morph into some nice hugs though - he's great at those too. Can't see him ever stopping those!
Lovely warm thread with lots of great hugging and cuddling families :-)

I co sleep with my 3.5 yo and my 7.5 yo sleeps in a separate bed beside mine so as good as co sleeping. As soon as she wakes in the morning she comes in for a cuddle and I can't see that changing any time soon. As long as it's their choice then I don't think there's an age limit on a cosy cuddle with your children.

I'm 40 and get into my parents' bed with my mum in the morning when I go stay at theirs. As do all my kids. My dad gets kicked out to go and make everyone a cup of tea. Poor old Dad

Last time my kids and I stayed at my mum's we all got into her bed in the morning and had a big cuddle, and I'm in my thirties!

Lol oyster dh and I used to get peoole ask about Co sleeping and affects on Sex life.... Oddly enough the more children we had the less it got asked, we are expecting baby number six, I think it's safe to say we still have Sex

Also rw children needing to sleep alone by a certain age... Just because children Co sleep doesn't mean that they can't sleep alone, juat that at home they choose to sleep with us. They still went for sleepovers are frirnds or grandparents etc and see fine on their own. The Idea that young children should sleep on their own,in their own rooms etc is a very western one and relatively recent in human evolution.

Yes, a lovely thread. My own DS, who is 12, just coincidently joined me in my bed yesterday morning. It was lovely, as it had been a while too! I was thinking it would all stop as soon as he becomes a teenager and I'm glad to see it doesn't have to.

My 13 year old will appear in the middle of the night with his pillow if he has had a bad nightmare, every few months or so (ie not very often), and ask me to budge up. I am touched that he still sees cuddling up with me as a place of safety. (I would prefer he stay in his own bed as he's huge and I like my space, but I wouldn't dream of telling him this, or turning him away.)

I remember my best friend at school (many, many years ago) shared a double bed with her nan. She thought it the greatest thing in the world.

I was still getting into my mum's bed when I was 16! Sometimes slept there as well. Would also steal her bed if I had a migraine during the day as her room was cooler in summer, and she'd get in with me if we gave guests her room - we're not precious about that kind of thing. IIRC my brother co-slept for a week after our dad died, and he must've been 13. (Must confess I spent a lot of time at my BF's as three in a bed is physically uncomfortable when you get to teen age.) DM and DB, as far as I'm aware, might still occasionally be sharing a bed when he has anxiety. He's 18. They'd sleep with a pillow barrier between them. I was doing the same at his age because I was a lazy sod and my own double bed would be covered with computer parts and art supplies.

I co-slept with both of mine. The 6 year old still sometimes arrives in the middle of the night or early hours, and if he's not too wriggly I let him stay otherwise he goes back to his own bed.

He'll always come for a morning snuggle though.

My 16 yo will also pile in sometimes and it's all lovely until the great lump gives me a dead leg with his enormous size (well, he's not enormous - just normal 6ft 16 year old boy size, but you know what I mean).

Treasure it I say.

My DDs 15 and 12 still get in with me regularly. OP do what's right for you and yours

DS is 20 and still gets in bed for a cuddle now and again. DD is 39 and when she visits she gets in bed with us to drink her coffee! She doesn't 'cuddle' as such though, but to her it's a good place to sit and chat with both of us together.

My 16 yo DS occasionally does this, sometimes clutching a soft toy.
The rest of the time he barely speaks to me.

I co sleep with my Nearly 9 yr old DS and there's nothing 'weird' going on. It's his choice. He has Aspergers and anxiety. He sleeps in a sleeping bag and I think the pressure of someone next to him soothes the sensory processing issues.

But I'm a single parent so it causes no issues.

The youngest, 14, loves to come into our bed to watch a video. He comes through with his stuffed dog and gets cuddled while we watch and episode of a Friends or King of Queens. Then off he goes back to his own bed.