to have shouted at the knobhead who parked in a parent and child space?!

[SparklyTinselTits]

(pre-thread warning: I'm a bit of a grumpy arsehole most of the time)

So, about two hours ago, myself, DH and DD (6 months) went to tescos. Headed for the parent and child spaces, but they were all full. I saw a couple, probably in their mid-30's loading their shopping into their car - not a child or car seat in sight. So DH pulled into a space just across the way from them. I made a big show of struggling to get DD out of her car seat in the normal sized space, and as we walked past I said "nice to see you struggling to get all your kids into your car in that massive space"

The man didn't know what to say, and the woman just put her head down and pretended not to have heard me.
Was I BU? Or does everyone else get The Rage when childless people park in parent and child spaces?!

maud im not being ignorant, if a person doesn't currently need it it's unfair to take it from those who do.

Hazey that sounds like DS.

On his last DLA claim when I questioned them not giving his the mobility component their reply was that they believe it is a conscious choice of his to refuse to move and have meltdowns, they ignored the pain he is in too

Ffs. P&C spaces are a courtesy. Disabled spaces are a legal requirement.

if a person doesn't currently need it it's unfair to take it from those who do.

but you don't know that for certain do you?

But Tali you can't see if someone has a need for the space. You are not in a position to pass judgement without making yourself look ignorant.

You don't know when the meltdowns are going to occur. My son can get out of the car happy and smiling but be put back into it headbutting and biting. His disability would be invisible getting out of the car.

Hazey I'm aware not everyone has one, but again a SN buggy would be fairly obvious.

One of the situations I commented in. A young woman got out the car and walked into Tescos. No disabled relative, no obvious disability, no lack of other spaces both disabled and normal. I don't think she'd noticed it wasn't a normal space to be honest.

Sirzy - it is disgusting, I have taken the phone from my friend as she hasn't been able to stop crying, when trying to talk to someone from the BB department. It would be of such benefit to them as a family to have something so simple. It makes me very angry, for her and for you. I really hope they see sense with your ds eventually.

Yes we feel the same, it's pathetic that people can't leave the space clear for drivers with children under 5.

Do you know she wasn't in pain with every step though Tali?

If I needed to go to the supermarket at the moment I would be very tempted to use a p and c space if it was the closest to the store - I am ill at the moment making breathing painful and meaning I get short of breath very quickly. If using a p and c space would make the shopping trip a bit easier I would. Thankfully I have family who are doing shopping and bits for me but not everyone has that.

Honking that's fair. If it's just one person in the car (it was both times!) though I think that's extremely unlikely.

As a disclaimer, I have depression highly likely to be bipolar 2, anxiety and dyspraxia. I'm being investigated for scoliosis and possible nerve damage following a traumatic birth. The DLA arses said I "looked fine". So don't make the assumption I'm saying everyone who looks okay isn't disabled. But I do question why a single adult with no obvious mobility requirements would need extra space.

It is awful, the system isn't designed to support people. It's designed to make people have to battle every step of the way.

What about dementia patients Tali? My mum got a blue badge for her dementia but many don't (we were lucky, we had a good admiral's nurse who helped us with the paperwork).

It's not the wider space that's needed, it's the proximity to the store. If the P&C's were further away you'd find less people wanting to use them who weren't 'entitled'. If you don't have a blue badge but need that closeness to the store then you'd use a P&C as you don't get penalised as you would in a disabled bay.

So why would a dementia patient and their carer use a P&C if they didn't have a blue badge? Dementia patients get exhausted very quickly when they shop. It takes a ton of concentration to think about what you need, what the name of it is, what it's used for etc., Imagine not remembering the word for 'kitchen towels' and then, sometimes, if you can recall what it looks like, not remembering what you'd use it for so you can't put the word and it's use together. Multiply that by many of the items you buy each week and then to actually use the logic to find the right aisle. As an example my mum looks for things like tinned fruit with the fresh fruit - it's all fruit to her so she can't understand why it's in another aisle.

So when mum goes shopping with me or my DSis and we've not had the chance to help her do her list, her brain hurts (as she puts it) and she feels drained. She then feels too tired to walk across the car park to the car and will resist any move to get her there - imagine trying to move an adult who is acting like a stubborn toddler... but if I didn't have that blue badge or the bays were full I couldn't leave her whilst I went to get the car as she may wander off...suggestions for what to do in that situation would be nice. I'm sure the Alzheimer's society and the other dementia charities would love to hear them.

Just because a P&C space has a wider area doesn't mean it's all about wider spaces for those who use them. If it is then it doesn't matter where they are sited does it?

OMG !!!!! I managed to raise 3 kids AND go to the supermarket before parent and chIld places were thought of. Where do I claim my award ...

Sirzy but there were disabled spaces free! Loads of them!

But they can only be used by people with blue badges.

In some places, like retail parks, the disabled spaces are situated in a certain place and the P&C in another. In our local shopping centre, the BB ones are further away from the pharmacy. If mobility is really bad that day, I'll use P&C but put up my BB. It doesn't stop the odd person from giving me grief but what can I do?! I know people will say that it doesn't happen that often but I am at my pharmacy weekly, so it can happen.

Jeez Tali, do you take up residence in car parks trying to spot inconsiderate fools who you can set to rights with your little notes.

She might have ibs and be about to crap herself, she might be someone who just didn't notice - who knows - but you are not the parking space police!

FWIW, my friend doesn't always use her son's sn buggy, sometimes, especially in the supermarket, she walks with him, but uses the older child trolley in the supermarket - I guess if you saw her getting out, you would think.....
'hang on, that boy looks far too old to need a p+c space, I'd better get my notebook out and write an appropriate note....oh wait a minute, better follow them first, just to make sure they don't qualify for my criteria of 'genuine need'.....'

It's not the wider space that's needed, it's the proximity to the store. If the P&C's were further away you'd find less people wanting to use them who weren't 'entitled'. If you don't have a blue badge but need that closeness to the store then you'd use a P&C as you don't get penalised as you would in a disabled bay.

Valid point, my gripe is regular spaces are extremely difficult to get my baby out. I'd have no problem with them being farther away.

I wouldn't comment to someone with elderly relatives getting out. Both times it's been young people who seemed to not realise the space was a special space.

I have diverticulitis and if I needed to go suddenly I'd certainly use a P&C space.

hang on, that boy looks far too old to need a p+c space, I'd better get my notebook out and write an appropriate note....oh wait a minute, better follow them first, just to make sure they don't qualify for my criteria of 'genuine need'.....'

No. I don't care how old your child is. And yeah I totally live in car parks looking for people. It's not just I call it out if I spot it.

I've never understood why P&C spaces are so hated on MN. I don't mind people without kids who are unwell or have another good reason using them, but someone without DC & no reason for using them is a cunt. You need more room to get a small child out of a car therefore it's only polite to leave the larger spaces for families with small children whenever possible. It's called being a nice person.

Ywnbu. Only on mn do people think parent and child means anyone.

At the supermarket I use when I have ds with me (the only one with an sn trolley) the p and c spaces are in a better position, slightly further away but away from the busiest area for traffic so safer for ds. I always park in one of them rather than use a blue badge space. He has less safety awareness than an nt toddler so I think it is reasonable to do so.

leaving a snippy note isn't 'calling it out' really is it?