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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To spend a lot of money on clothes etc

116 replies

sltorres9 · 18/10/2015 14:18

I'm a fashion blogger/writer, every week I can spend up to and sometimes over £600 on clothes. Often I get sent free stuff but I like buying this. But now my partner is saying I'm disgusting for spending so much and should invest that money into my family. Who is in the wrong :(

OP posts:
theycallmemellojello · 18/10/2015 14:45

I've just seen that you earn £60k. Yes, I think that spending this amount is problematic. Although how much does your DH earn? If he's a high earner and you're doing most of the childcare while blogging for 'pocket money' I guess that's a different situation to if he's on a similar wage.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 18/10/2015 14:46

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ssd · 18/10/2015 14:46

brag brag brag

WorraLiberty · 18/10/2015 14:47

The OP didn't say blogging was her only 'job' to be fair, so she might be making her money doing something else.

Would you say your clothes buying is 'voluntary', or has it become an addiction OP?

Are there other things going on in your life, that buying clothes helps you to block out?

Sorry to go all deep and meaningful for a minute Grin

DontHaveAUsername · 18/10/2015 14:53

I feel that household bills should be split 50 50. If you're doing that then as far as I'm concerned you do what you like with your income, it's your spending money once the bills are taken care of. Ultimately only you and your partner can jointly decide what's going to work, you need to discuss it together.

It's fine if you want to spend a lot on clothes. I don't spend a lot on clothes but if it's your money and it makes you happy then spend it on what you like.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 18/10/2015 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoreOfWhabylon · 18/10/2015 14:56

BojackHorseman · 18/10/2015 14:59

Yeah I'm a bit Shock that the OP has used her partners income too on occasion, why not just wait until you could afford it with your own money OP?

ThatsDissapointing · 18/10/2015 15:03

That sounds really boring. Ugh, clothes shopping is dullsville. Why can't you just buy the clothes for your 'blog' then return them. You would increase your income no end.

NewToNoContact · 18/10/2015 15:04

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BoffinMum · 18/10/2015 15:04

Open a boutique and flog the buggers.

CookieMonsterIsOnADiet · 18/10/2015 15:08

Given you are using his money then YABVU.

If you were paying 50/50 on the bills then your remaining income is yours to do with as you please just as his is.

You are silly though if you have no savings for a rainy day.

RabbitSaysWoof · 18/10/2015 15:08

I think it's a bit sad tbh.
If you were someone I cared about I would probably ask you if you were unhappy or insecure in some way.

gamerchick · 18/10/2015 15:10

IT doesn't matter what we think really. Your bloke has a problem with you spending money on more clothes you can wear and you really should be listening to him before it turns into resentment.

If you have any kind of debt, including a mortgage then yes I agree with your husband.

Pangurban1 · 18/10/2015 15:11

If you're spending that much every week, then you don't seem to have too much in two wardrobes and drawers. Do you sell on or give to charity/ second hand shops? You must do. It can't keep coming in without some stuff going out too. Unless you are buying the most expensive knickers on the planet which only take up a little room.

Viviennemary · 18/10/2015 15:28

It entirely depends on your income. If you're a footballers wife that amount is probablity total frugality but for most people it's a huge amount of money. And are you're family going without because of your spending.

ThatsDissapointing · 18/10/2015 15:30

Over £30,000 a year on clothes is a bit weird unless you are super wealthy. It wouldn't make me happy. Do you actually have to buy them for your job?
Are they very expensive items? If so them I suppose it wouldn't be hard to spend that much.

It's really odd to regularly buy clothes that you don't wear.
If you are very wealthy then it's much less of a problem.

Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter · 18/10/2015 15:31

Are the clothes a work expense genuinely? If so are they somehow tax deductible? Or is the VAT portion of the price? (I have no idea what the answer to that is btw, just a thought, assuming you are registered as a business of some kind and must have an accountant if you are earning 50k per year).

I think you need to separate essential work spending from "I like buying this" personal fun spending. If your blogging income depends on you spending 400-600 per week on clothing to blog about then you are not "earning" 900-1300 per week in reality - you are earning 300-900 a week. However it you have to consider whether the spending is actually genuinely contributing to your earning power - would you be able earn as much blogging if you spend less (probably - and if not your blogging isn't as profitable as your figures indicate and is even a loss maker in the weeks you also spend money your DH earned)?

Once essential business expenditure is accounted for you and your husband should both be contributing to the running costs of your household - you have to reach an agreement, but it absolutely is U to spend most of your income on clothes just for yourself above and beyond any amount you have to spend to make your business profitable, and sometimes some of your DH's income, and assume he should be the only one contributing to mortgage/ rent, bills, food, clothes for DC, petrol, insurance, holidays....

Keep business and personal accounts separate. Ensure you and DH both have the same amount to spend on yourselves (it might be quite a lot if your husband is a high earner too). Put the rest of your earnings into the joint account - assuming that is what your DH also does.

Your money isn't pocket money - you and your DH are equally responsible for running home and kids, though you don't have to put the same amount in pound for pound it shouldn't be that one of you puts all their income into family funds and the other spends all theirs on unnecessary luxuries for themselves.

tldr · 18/10/2015 15:34

Yep, YABU.

cariadlet · 18/10/2015 15:36

That does seem a hell of a lot - more than I spend on clothes in a year, and I consider myself reasonably well off (although with money everything is relative - it depends on who you compare yourself too.)

But, if you're interested in clothes then spend as much as you like on them with the proviso that:

you contribute your fair share to bills and other household expenses

you have enough savings to live on for at least 3 months if you and your partner both found yourselves out of work/unable to earn for any reason

the spending on clothes isn't at the expense of spending a reasonable, affordable amount to treat your children (occasional trip to cinema, days out, school trips etc)

steff13 · 18/10/2015 15:37

If you're paying your fair share of the household expenses, then your personal spending mone should be spent on whatever you like. If you're borrowing money from your partner to spend on clothes, I think you're probably spending too much.

decisionsdecisions123 · 18/10/2015 15:43

I think you need to ask yourself why you feel the need to buy such an excessive amount of clothing and take it from there. Nobody actually needs to buy new clothes every week or even every month. Most of us buy a few items a year. So what is it all about? Is it to keep up with others around you and impress them? Is it an issue from childhood? If you keep it up and keep buying all these items over 5 years where are you going to keep it all or will you give it away/throw it away/sell it on Ebay? Seems a pointless waste of money to me.

RedSoloCup · 18/10/2015 15:46

How do you even have time to buy and wear this?

I'd be surprised if we spend that a year on all of us (family of 5)!!

AFewGoodWomen · 18/10/2015 15:47

Nowhere near enough info from the OP to judge if she is BU or not.

It does read rather like a wish fulfillment fantasy of a 15 yo.

CalleighDoodle · 18/10/2015 15:48

I think youve had your answer. Your husband, the person who knows you and your family, has said it is an issue. So it is an issue.