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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why people send their children to private schools?

491 replies

TheStripyGruffalo · 18/10/2015 12:52

People I know have done it for various reasons a) because they want their children to get all A* grade b) because they don't want their children mixing with the people at the local comprehensive and c) because they think it looks good to have children at a private school.

If you send your children private do you mind saying why? I'm genuinely interested (and I'm not a journalist). We didn't choose private schools because we thought our DC would not be comfortable being amongst the poorest families there.

OP posts:
Hezaire · 18/10/2015 17:39

I'm a teacher in a state school but if I was going to send my own kids to private school I would do so for the class sizes

BertrandRussell · 18/10/2015 17:39

"Each to their own in my opinion."

Except it isn't, is it?

The elephant in the room is the fact that, if you think private suction is vastly superior, you have to accept the fact that it is a choice only available to a tiny minority.

Leavingsosoon · 18/10/2015 17:40

Didn't the sutton trust state small class sizes made no discernible difference to achievement?

brokenhearted55a · 18/10/2015 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IguanaTail · 18/10/2015 17:43

Yes it did. But it's not just achievement that parents want. They want their kids to have individual attention and for their kids to be well known and cared for.

If you have 15 kids in a lesson you can get round and see them all. If you have 30 you really can't.

IguanaTail · 18/10/2015 17:44

private suction ??! Sounds kinky.

IguanaTail · 18/10/2015 17:45

Think I'd prefer any suction to be private, if I'm totally honest.

Lemonfizzypop · 18/10/2015 17:52

Crikey the education system in this country is vile and this thread proves it.

AnthonyBlanche · 18/10/2015 17:55

Why is it vile lemon?

NewLife4Me · 18/10/2015 17:58

I think most people go for the actual school being the right fit for their child rather than private or state. Some people H.ed because it's best for their child.
Their reasons will vary depending on the child and parents, surely.

FWIW, dd found the perfect school for her, it happens to have small class sizes, gets good results, is in top 100 schools and none of these were the reasons.

EllyHigginbottom · 18/10/2015 18:02

It never occurred to us that our children wouldn't go privately. We live in one of the global tiger-parenting hotspots and we can afford private, so there you go.

If I'm being honest.

Having moved to a significantly more deprived area in the years intervening, I do occasionally feel very shitty about this decision. I can't defend the system, but like everyone else, I'm giving my kids every single advantage I can.

Sadik · 18/10/2015 18:03

TBH, NewLife, I think most people go for the state school that is available to them!

Lemonfizzypop · 18/10/2015 18:04

Why is it vile lemon?

It's vile because it's unfair that money should be able to buy you a better education, education is a universal need.

Lemonfizzypop · 18/10/2015 18:07

I don't blame people who do it, it's depressing that a country as rich as this can have such shit comprehensives, but I do think society as a whole would be improved if paying for education was illegal.

BertrandRussell · 18/10/2015 18:07

"I think most people go for the actual school being the right fit for their child rather than private or state"

With the greatest of respect that really is utter bollocks.

RoseWithoutAThorn · 18/10/2015 18:09

Our local LA schools had awful inspection reports. I was well aware of their performance as I was a teacher (outwith the area). All 4 of our children went to private school from P1 and we've never regretted that decision.

AnthonyBlanche · 18/10/2015 18:10

Fair enough, if that's your view lemon. In the world we live in money buys lots of advantages in many different areas of life, and it is natural for parents to want the very best for their children.

Abolishing private schools wouldn't result in an equal education for all though.

minifingerz · 18/10/2015 18:13

London has the best state schools in the country with fabulous 'value added'.

London also has the highest number of children in private schools - 15%.

I know plenty of people locally who won't even consider the OFSTED 'outstanding' rated local schools because - well, basically they are full of poor kids.

Honestly - state schools can be fabulous and vibrant places, but a lot of people still won't consider using them because they don't want their children educated alongside kids who will end up as plumbers and shop assistants.

Lurkedforever1 · 18/10/2015 18:13

sadik No, nobody should have to. But the ability was tied in with it for us, it made a fully funded place at an independent a possibility. Otherwise private wouldn't have been on the cards.

lemon yes, but not half as unfair as what catchment you can buy in the state system.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 18/10/2015 18:15

I don't agree that people choose the best school that suits their children

For many at ds school state education is not something that would be considered even an outstanding school and with others they have siblings at the really good state school in the area but they shall also be going on to private secondary schools

Lemonfizzypop · 18/10/2015 18:17

In the world we live in money buys lots of advantages in many different areas of life, and it is natural for parents to want the very best for their children.

Yes I've said I understand why people do it, it doesn't make it right.

Abolishing private schools wouldn't result in an equal education for all though

It would certainly help!

ZanyMobster · 18/10/2015 18:19

I agree to an extent with lemon, we pay because of all the reasons I stated above, DS1 was let down by his state infant school so we moved to private as we feel it is better for him and so far it has proved to be the case. I don't think we should have to, we are far from rich. We actually live in a nice area but the schools are awful so it's such a lottery really.

That said, until things change I am not willing to gamble with my DCs education, we can afford it so we have gone private. We wouldn't have had that choice if we couldn't afford it and it is completely unfair that many people do not have the choice even if they wanted to.

My niece has fairly severe dyslexia and issues with processing numbers. Her state school (was outstanding, now failing) absolutely refused to acknowledge this even after SIL had paid for a proper assessment herself. They tried to work with the school but as DN was achieving only just below average results they were not interested. She has just moved her to private in Y6 and she is a completely changed child, she has 1:1 lessons for her dyslexia and absolutely loves school as she is no longer disinterested due to finding every day an awful slog and is thriving at the new school.

RVPisnomore · 18/10/2015 18:21

I say each to their own as different children have different needs, some are better suited in private others in state. My DH are not massive earners but have decided to sacrifice other things to ensure our DS goes to the school.

However, if you think that if they abolished private schools that everyone would get the same level of access to decent schools it wouldn't happen. Catchment areas for the 'best' schools would be flooded by the higher earners and the effect would be the same, a 2 tier system which would be unfair as it would still give those in higher earning families access to the better schools and as a result education.

Postino · 18/10/2015 18:21

Agree with Lemon that it would certainly help.

"people choose the best school that suits their children". Not all of them by a long shot. So what about the children whose parents don't care? Or can't afford it?

The current system disadvantages them all.

minifingerz · 18/10/2015 18:21

It also helps make sense of it that most people who use private schools are also Tory voters. They believe in competition and a meritocracy, as long as their own children don't have to compete on the same terms as everyone else.