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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why people send their children to private schools?

491 replies

TheStripyGruffalo · 18/10/2015 12:52

People I know have done it for various reasons a) because they want their children to get all A* grade b) because they don't want their children mixing with the people at the local comprehensive and c) because they think it looks good to have children at a private school.

If you send your children private do you mind saying why? I'm genuinely interested (and I'm not a journalist). We didn't choose private schools because we thought our DC would not be comfortable being amongst the poorest families there.

OP posts:
Leavingsosoon · 18/10/2015 18:24

Think that's more to do with Tory voters being more likely to earn significantly above the national average ...

Postino · 18/10/2015 18:25

If selective schools were abolished, there could be some kind of lottery system for local schools. It would mean a lot of criss-crossing of school runs though.

Oh sod it, it's not going to happen is it? apparently the greater good goes out the window when it's your own children

Postino · 18/10/2015 18:27

That sounded judgey. I don't mean to be, I can relate. We're all doing what we think's best in a very imperfect world.

Chipstick10 · 18/10/2015 18:29

Because lots of people want better for their child.

BertrandRussell · 18/10/2015 18:29

I would really love to know how much "buying into the catchment" actually happens. I'm not saying it doesn't- but is there any way of knowing how much it happens?

Another thing I wonder is why all these people who can afford private education and all that goes with it live in massively disadvantaged areas with rubbish schools. I would have thought that the sort of places people like that live would also be the sort of places where the state schools are "leafy".

AnthonyBlanche · 18/10/2015 18:30

mini Edinburgh has approximately 25% of children in private education. No idea why, but it certainly saves the council a lot of money!

Leavingsosoon · 18/10/2015 18:31

In general, I'm not arsed about the quality of ed-you-caaaaayyy-shun as I am afraid I am one of these lazy types who does think bright children with involved parents do well wherever.

My DS is being bullied at the moment, though, and it is a wrench to see him upset about going into school. That said, it's not to say there wouldn't be any such nonsense at an independent but I think people feel, as fee-paying customers, they can demand it stops.

Lemonfizzypop · 18/10/2015 18:32

I fundamentally disagree with a system that lets you pay for a better education, however I can't say that faced with shit schools that I wouldn't choose to pay to give my child the best chance, it's a decision it's impossible to be objective about, that's why I wish it wasn't possible to choose, I wish more money was pumped into making education universally better and that children from all walks of life could mix together.

Sweden manage it! Grin

Chipstick10 · 18/10/2015 18:32

Oh I just read up thread. I think it's the other way round. Lefties sending their children private and then trying to deny others the same right. Diane Abbott and most of the hypocrites in the Labour Party . Do as I say not as I do.

Dreamgirls234 · 18/10/2015 18:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Leavingsosoon · 18/10/2015 18:34

Swedes total population is less than 10 million, though, while the uk's stands at over 64 million! Grin

Leavingsosoon · 18/10/2015 18:35

Wonderful cross post between dreamgirl and chipstick Grin

And obviously I meant Sweden's, not swedes!

Lemonfizzypop · 18/10/2015 18:37

I know Leaving, hence my laughing smiley! There HAS to be a better and fairer system than our current one though, it just seems to keep the rich richer and the poor poorer.

M4blues · 18/10/2015 18:38

Bertrand
House prices in the catchment for my local primary average around 600k. Those kids are no less advantaged than mine just because I pay. It's just that their parents pay for many of those Ex curricular things that mine get as part of school.

AnthonyBlanche · 18/10/2015 18:39

Perhaps grammar schools should be reintroduced throughout the UK? They could be means tested, so that if you are too rich, you can't send your child there.

Leavingsosoon · 18/10/2015 18:41

I agree with that! I think one of the problems is that there is such a reluctance to actually be really straight and honest (and I admire the posters who are) - people keep twittering about small class sizes and of course if they could have the same service at Grime Street Comp, but, and because of but, and, and because of and, so ...

Truth is, and to a point understandably, no one wants their child to be in a class with the mad the sad and the bad. Problem is, there are numerous fantastic, caring parents who don't want that for their child either but have no choice, and that's where it's so very unfair.

HedgieRobin · 18/10/2015 18:41

We have three local secondary schools...
One fantastic Catholic - no chance in hell of getting in.
One state school which is the worst performing in our entire county.
One private school which is excellent and reasonably priced.

Our choice was worst performing in county, or excellent private, we could afford private so that was the obvious choice for us.

Andrewofgg · 18/10/2015 18:45

Perhaps grammar schools should be reintroduced throughout the UK? They could be means tested, so that if you are too rich, you can't send your child there.

On the other hand there are PP criticising private-school parents for not sending their DCs to the state systems.

I am confused . . .

Leavingsosoon · 18/10/2015 18:45

Well yes, for you, but on a more general level, what about those who couldn't afford it?

They don't care for their children any less than you do (and before anyone leaps at me, I'm not laying into you, I'd possibly have done the same.)

Must admit though, I'm not sure about all this 'worst performing school' business. Even at really grotty schools a few kids always come through with good results.

Isn't it more to do with the actual experience we want them to have while they are at school?

winkywinkola · 18/10/2015 18:47

Smaller classes.

Good sports facilities.

M4blues · 18/10/2015 18:50

Leavingsosoon,
I am being honest. I live in a relatively affluent part of the country. You'd pay upwards of 500k for a doer upper in my primary catchment. Most houses go on between 600k and 850k. There is very little 'sad, mad and bad' to be found. Even though our local comp takes from other primaries it's fairly similar. I haven't checked recently but when I checked a few years back they had a FSM figure of 3%. Very low for a comp. and I can assure you, as a state school teacher myself, small class sizes really were a bug motivator.

Andrewofgg · 18/10/2015 18:53

^a bug motivator

Now that's the sort of typo I like Smile

amicissimma · 18/10/2015 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Leavingsosoon · 18/10/2015 18:54

Why, when it makes no real difference to achievement? (Genuine question!)

Imperialleather2 · 18/10/2015 18:59

We've chosen private because

The facilities at the state option were very cramped and with hardly any outside space. In comparison our school has fantastic facilities.

Class sizes a max of 18.

Dd is August born so youngest in the,year and we thought she may need the extra attention she could get at private.

You can't make general rules as each situation is different but with already stretched budgets I'm not sure how outlawing private schools and forcing 000's of extra pupils into the system woukd improve things.