to wonder why people send their children to private schools?

[TheStripyGruffalo]

People I know have done it for various reasons a) because they want their children to get all A* grade b) because they don't want their children mixing with the people at the local comprehensive and c) because they think it looks good to have children at a private school.

If you send your children private do you mind saying why? I'm genuinely interested (and I'm not a journalist). We didn't choose private schools because we thought our DC would not be comfortable being amongst the poorest families there.

but it saddens me

Sorry, I failed to add the main reason was the shocking secondary schools in our area. Primary schools are fairly good but secondary schools are awful, our catchment school gets around 30% A*-C but there are all sorts of issues with it also. We could have just waited till senior school but I felt the transition would be easier the younger they are.

FWIW I did not agree with private education at all before my DCs were school age but I have made the decision based on what their needs are IMO.

One of the reasons was the lack of choice in the state sector especially if 3 of the 4 nearest primary schools are faith schools and your DC are not Christian. DS1 is yr 8 and will move to senior school next year we have been able to find a school that we all feel will be a good fit for him rather than relying on allocation by proximity. We are in London and other than faith, distance is the deciding factor for most children.

Evil I have not written anyone off as stupid. All I said in my original post, giving reasons for sending children to private school was:

*Fewer stupid children at (selective) private schools, and certainly much better behaviour in the classroom. A combination of those two factors plus the superior sporting, musical and art facilities on offer made it a no brainier for us and our DD and DS.

Why wouldn't anyone want to give their children the best educational opportunities?*

So if you read again, you will see that I said there are fewer stupid children at schools which have selected for ability. To get from there to saying I am writing people off as stupid, or that I don't know that there are lots of people with undiagnosed SEN is quite a leap.

Should read distance is the deciding factor in the state sector

I still think it's utterly vile to call any child "stupid". I'm not really interested in you trying to justify your unpleasant views any further.

Tracy I was not privately educated and am in a senior role in one of the professions you list. The majority of my colleagues were also not privately educated, in fact those that were are very much in the minority.

However, I'm not sure the same can be said of our children. I think well over half send their children to private school. Perhaps private school appeals more the more you can afford it? My parents wouldn't have been able to pay for private school - not that there was a private school within two hundred miles of where we lived.

Bertrandrussel - who knows what might have been.
My old school is still there, and the thought of sending my kids there gives me the horrors. I like the fact their teachers at their private school know them.
There are 4 state secondary schools in my old area. Mine was seen as the better one.
I don't know where you are from, but perhaps its not as deprived as the part of Glasgow I grew up in.
I can tell lots of shocking stories and often make people laugh with my terrible tales of secondary school - but it didn't seem funny when I was 13.

Fine with me Evil - i have no need to justify myself to a stranger on the Internet.

No indeed. Glad you're able to keep you children away from stupid thick children who, by their very existence, prevent your own genii from making prigress. Thank goodness for private schools eh?

Progress. Oops.

I've never met anyone who have said b or c, or even hinted at it. Even a is only hinted out and more of a 'this school achieves highest on league times for academia' rather than 'my child will get a*'

I think some of the people you know, OP, have a strange viewpoint, if that's what they are truly saying.

More usual reasons given, ime, are:

• smaller classes
• smaller schools
• less restricted by national curriculum and other national restraints
• catchment options not perceived as a good school
• own education was in independent school and they enjoyed it/feels it suited them
• can afford it and felt it was right option for them
• good wrap around care
• good ranking on league tables (ESP academic wise)
• feel it was best school in area
• feel it was best option to suit their child

Lots of reasons are possible

Forgot to add

• might be choice of sports done, music opportunities, etc.

Just made this choice in the last week :)
Looked round the local (ofsted good) school and didn't love it. It had lots of good things about it, including location (across the road), governors (DH is one). The children seemed happy and key stage 2 looked pretty exciting for a state school.
I didn't warm to the head. I got the feeling that it was all about results, sats, ofsted, not happy children. Funding is very limited I know from DH. The early years wasn't great. Reception classroom small, badly laid out, cluttered. I believe reception should be learning through play and gradual transition to formal learning. This wasn't. 3 weeks into term and they were all sitting practising letter formation, apart from one group doing outdoor sand play with the TA. However if that was our only option I would be pleased to send DS there. There are much worse schools I'm sure.
DS is an only and we are lucky to be able to afford private education. I was privately educated from 9 and am proud of my education. I want that for DS.
We looked round the nearest private primary and loved it. Really warm and friendly, the Head was lovely as were all the teachers I spoke to. The Head wants it to be like a family and it had that feel. Class size 22 to 2 adults at minimum. Often 3. Bright classrooms, lots of work on the walls, not just charts like in the state school. Specialist teachers for science etc. Excellent sports and music facilities. Also 7.30-6pm crèche if needed which is a real help.
DS is starting their school nursery in January and we'll see how it goes for a term, will still put in our normal school application as well and then decide.

There's no way I could afford private but I'm sitting my dd for the entrance exam for a few private schools.

My dd is extremely bright, intelligent, top set in everything and is also the one the school always chooses to represent and help out for things like sports day. She throws herself into every activity going and does above and beyond her homework for fun every night.

I was very much like her and as a result I was bullied until I dumbed myself down and turned into a little shit to fit in. I wash desperate to have friends and be accepted I ruined my education and didn't even take my gcses.

I'm going to give my dd every chance I can to succeed in life. I want her to be somewhere where it's cool to be clever.

The networking also helps them get on in life. If we don't get a full buserie for the couple of private schools in the area hopefully she will get into the grammars that are around.

I don't agree with private schools, it is an unfair situation but I want the best for my dd.

I went to a god-awful comprehensive, and for that reason I WOULDN'T use an independent school for my children.

State schools need those (on average) wealthier and more engaged parents.

I know it's not that simple, but it would certainly be an improvement. Otherwise we're short-changing the majority of our nation's dc.

Agree with you postino

Ex and I chose private secondary education because catchment secondary had such poor results and a terrible reputation. The benefits have been both DC got good GCSEs - in DS's case despite doing no work. In addition everyone comments on their confidence in social situations.

The downside is that they were/are a lot less well off than their classmates and I did get fed up with having to tell them (usually DS) that they couldn't have the latest whatever when there was some credence to their argument that "all my friends have one".

DD left after GCSEs to go to a grammar school which she preferred. DS is doing his A levels and loves everything about school except the actual work.

As DS is not putting sufficient effort in, I am not expecting stellar A level results but don't regret sending him. DS's best friends from his (state) primary school went to the catchment school and both did very poorly at GCSE and AS levels despite being capable boys.

What do we all think is so different about the good private schools and the poor state schools?

I think to be fair, BertrandRussell (and others), people who live near a secondary school that is either very good or very bad are more likely to post about it, if that makes sense.

It's the same reason there are lots of people on MN with 5 year old fluent readers / 11 year olds who can't write / other non-average trait. Those who are round about in the middle are less likely to post about it.

Having said that, at last inspection 44% of yr 7 entrants to dd's secondary school had a reading age of 9 years or lower, and - unsurprisingly - their GCSE results aren't fabulous. Despite all that, it's fine, and I have every confidence that (providing she puts in the effort required, of course) dd will do well.

Walk around a state secondary and see the behaviour the teachers have to put up with while trying to teach. Then go into some private secondaries. The ones I know, including the ones DH and I went to, you don't talk when the teacher is talking, you stand up when an adult walks into the room, you work in silence if told to, you would be out of the classroom if a teacher heard you use a swearword and any disrespectful behaviour would have you in front of the head. Persistent bad behaviour would mean your parents were asked to withdraw you from the school.

Private school fees buy an environment where those with no interest in learning aren't allowed to stay and disrupt those who want to learn.

Because they can. That's it. And even though nobody would publically admit it (for the risk of being pelted with rotten veg) they don't want their Tarquins mixing with Jaydens.

"Private school fees buy an environment where those with no interest in learning aren't allowed to stay and disrupt those who want to learn."

DD doesn't seem to be having much problem learning in her state secondary . . .

I'm sure there is more bad behaviour than in private - as you say, private schools can throw out any difficult children, whereas state schools have to work with them. But then they have to be somewhere - the bottom line for society as a whole is that they need to get an education, otherwise it will be worse for everyone.

leaving. In our case everything. Being made of bricks and having glass in the windows is about the only similarity that springs to mind. I suppose what you're after though is the fact the private don't think my child has less right to reach her potential than her classmates, and therefore provide accordingly. Rather than thinking it's ok to completely ignore her needs under the bullshit theory often trotted out that high achievers don't matter because they still get results.

After a great state primary the idea of her having equals to be educated alongside and compete in a friendly manner with wasn't one I thought that important. But with hindsight I can see that for all her friends at primary, the lack of academic equals wasn't ideal. She is absolutely loving working actually alongside classmates, and joining in with class lessons, instead of spending most of her learning time doing her own thing whilst just seated with her friends. She likes having the same work as other people and it still being suitable for her for once.

We live in an area where unless you're going to send your children to boarding school, private school isn't really an option. (In the county as a whole there's one - very small - regular private secondary school, two tiny special schools that cater for children with specific SN, and one Steiner school that goes up to 14, that's it.)

I think it makes for far greater social cohesion the fact that pupils from all backgrounds go to the same schools. Yes, some pupils may get fewer GCSEs, but overall IMO everyone is happier.