to wonder why people send their children to private schools?

[TheStripyGruffalo]

People I know have done it for various reasons a) because they want their children to get all A* grade b) because they don't want their children mixing with the people at the local comprehensive and c) because they think it looks good to have children at a private school.

If you send your children private do you mind saying why? I'm genuinely interested (and I'm not a journalist). We didn't choose private schools because we thought our DC would not be comfortable being amongst the poorest families there.

We can't afford to send our daughters to private school.

The top state school is down the road but the catchment is full of very expensive houses and you have to have placed your child on the list practically at birth. The school was recently criticised for turning away in-catchment children with special educational needs.

My children will go to the local high school. It is not a 'naice' school, very culturally mixed with racial tension, and children from very challenging backgrounds. The school has no playing fields.

If I had the choice, deep down, I think I would send my daughters to private school. They are all three top of their class. But we can't afford it.
The high school has a record for getting bright and able children into good universities, it has thriving music, art and -against all odds- athletics sections.

So on the whole, my children will have to work harder to get to university, than the children attending private school. They will have more distractions, more challenges, have to be more understanding of their peers and more socially aware.

On the whole I think the high school will prepare them for a useful life, contributing to society. But the road will be more difficult.

"The top state school is down the road but the catchment is full of very expensive houses and you have to have placed your child on the list practically at birth"

Just for information- this can't be right. Check the admissions criteria.

Rightly or wrongly schools have the right to choose because they are independent, there is also an academy near us which was notorious for being awful, worse few % in the whole country, became an academy and now has results up in the 70s. That school is not open to everyone either which means the results are also skewed, nor is the catholic school up the road that has reasonable results, nor is the slightly above average secondary half a mile out of our catchment area that has a huge waiting list even for those in catchment.

The whole system is unfair, there was not enough places in our LA area for infant school children last year in local schools (places were offered but with it being impossible to get to 2 different schools at the required times for siblings) this would have been even worse without the several private schools I guess.

I absolutely do not agree with the system but I will admit to not looking at the greater good and just looking at what is best for our family.

Would you also like a return to secondary modern schools nationwide?

Can I ask a question please
Those with good music and sport provision is this via the school or county?
I mean do you have school orchestras and ensembles and what sort of level are they?
Our high schools don't have orchestras, some might have ensembles of a description but there are very few children who play in each school iyswim.
We have great county provision though where all levels are catered for.

Of course it's not only money that might get you a better education- being born to able parents helps even more.

I don't need to pay for a private tutor, as I can tutor my children myself. So stuck with chemistry or maths A level homework? Easy to ask mum downstairs. Invaluable.

I went to a fee paying school in the West Country and absolutely hated every one of the 7 years I spent there. Nobody asked me if I wanted to go, I was told by my Parents that if I didn't pass the entrance exam I'd be a bad reflection on them. I was taken away from my home and friends at 11 years old and have never forgiven my Mother ( Father died).
Consequently I scraped my A levels and left as soon as I could. It was a case of lots of hormonal girls shut in together all term.
Only a handful wanted to be there, the rest of us were there because our parents wanted to produce little lady einsteins.

It is right BertrandRussell
It is a grant maintained school in scotland. It takes children from 4-18. In fact it has three waiting lists

Our county music provision was difficult to access. It was far away, and run after school on the other side of the county.

the private school had over two hundred children playing instruments so made concerts and playing together much more obtainable.

headofthehive

I totally agree. We have been very lucky in obtaining the best education for dd. I tell her how lucky she is all the time.
She has worked hard though and has sheer ambition, dreams, determination and is motivated beyond belief.
We don't have money, but we have been able to allow her a tailor made education.
Her older siblings have spoken to her about making sure she benefits from it.

The grammar system of the 60s was not this Nirvana that many in MN seem to believe. Yes it allowed some children from poor backgrounds to become socially mobile. The overwhelming majority of these were boys as in many areas, girls could score far higher than boys in the 11+ and still not get a place whilst the boy 20 marks below her heads off to the grammar.

As as for those poor kids branded a failure at 11...
People always argue that it's unfair that parents can pay for independent schools and all that they bring. They want a return to the grammar system because they gave bright kids. Always the cries that poor bright kids deserve to flourish. Well they do, of course. But what about poor not so bright kids? Don't they deserve to flourish too?

Head

We don't have much more than 200 in our borough.
The orchestra is lovely though and lots of brass bands, wind band, guitars, choirs, jazz Orchestra. They are a mixture of all the schools though.

Sugar

That must be really hard, so sorry

sugar21 did we have the same parents? I also went to a private school in the west country and hated it, especially the elocution lessons that I had as an extra to make sure that my accent didn't embarrass my parents.

Another comp is now split into three schools on the same site according to ability. The children wear different coloured ties according to ability

Sugar, I'm wondering if we went to the same school? I was sent to a West Country boarding school age 9 (Y5). I stayed there until I finished A Levels. I'm sure it was a "fantastic education".

The reality is at Uni I couldn't relate to everyone else there (it was a red brick Uni) & it was awful. I'm now nearly 40 & live in the small rural community where all my peers went to the local schools. They have similar careers to me etc. I'm not sure what I gained from being isolated from my family for 9 years.

Would I choose to do the same for my DD's? No way. Never.

Gruffalo Possibly, Oh how I hated those elocution lessons. I adopted a West Country accent on purpose when I went home for the holidays just to piss off My Mother

Honestly? I'm not sure. My DCs go to private school and I don't think it's very good....

My son had dylexia and was bright but slow. In his state primary his ability wasn't recognised until P6 due to his slowness. The small class sizes and special needs provision at his private secondary were a factor, and the fact that science subjects were separated in to the 3 sciences. My ex and I are both science orientated so good science facilities were important to us as our son also showed a science bent (and is now doing mech eng).
He did well there. My daughter is at the local comp as no dyslexia and she chose to go there (son chose the private school) and is doing well.
My ex and I went to state schools and did well and never thought of sending our kids to private schools until our son started struggling. His gentle geeky nature fitted in better with the kids at the private school as well. I think state schools can be tough on quiet geeky boys. Girls seem more resilient and swotty/ geeky girls are more tolerated in state schools although I was much happier at uni than I was at school..

I am sure the reasons are as broad as they are long and is a question posed to start a bun fight. Why choose to shop in F&M not waitrose? etc. Why go to the Caribbean and not Blackpool? Why choose to pay more for a something when you can play less? How about we just accept that we all make different choices?

Why can't we just all get along and drink gin? Or AIBU?

I sent my ds to a private school because I had a horrible experience at all of my state schools. I didn't want that for my child. I wanted the best start for him. His private nusery was attached to the school and it was good for him to follow on. He is from a council estate and I worked bloody hard as a single parent to pay the fees. The small class sizes were better. I'm glad he got a good start.

It's the word 'choice' that's the tricky bit

Ok going to stick my neck out here. I disagree with M4blues. I actually agree with the 11+ grammar system. It separates the brighter/more academic kids and gives them the attention and level of learning that they need. The non passers benefit from the attention and level of learning that they need at non selective schools. Surely better for both, no?
I wholly believe every child is entitled to a good education, but some are more intelligent and academic than others. Why deny it? Surely more chance of flourishing if they do it in the environment best suited. As noted above, I opted my son out of the 11+. The grammar schools are technically "better" but it's not the be all and end all that my child is better suited elsewhere.
A massive part of education is social not academic. I'd rather my children were happy and confident than have a million A grades, if it came down to choice.

ubik but the independent sector isn't setting itself up as fair, open to all, or something we all pay towards. The state system is however, therefore lack of choice in that is massively unfair.