Dear son please remove your...

[bananaandcustard]

little blue can of lube from the bathroom. I assume you and your girlfriend used it this morning (during Saturday kitchen, btw we turned up the sound on tv to stop our ears burning) and forgot to take it back to your bedroom.

As you are so careless with your more 'personal' items I feel quite at liberty to also mention that you do need to make more of an 'effort' with your girlfriend, rather than rely too heavily on lube.

Thanks for that son.

Cringe!

Well this is weird

Is he a Mumsnetter?

Are you actually suggesting your son and his girlfriend need lube because he doesn't make her wet enough?

Bleurrrgh! < Orders a lorry load of mind bleach >

I hate to break it to you, but I doubt that's the reason for the lube...

Your son is having Bumsex

This has really made me laugh
Now offering a big bottle of brain bleach and ear defenders

Ooookaaay!

Why don't you post that on his FaceBook wall?

Take him the lube and tell him to have some more privacy next time. They really shouldn't be having sex when you are clearly able to hear them.

Erm... Yep, lube is unlikely to be for what you're thinking.

Also, this is far TMI. Put it on his bed and he'll die knowing you saw it, and then look after it better.

Now to bleach my brain.

Dear son please remove your...

...penis from your girlfriend's bum during Saturday Kitchen.

That's grim. Leave it in his room with a note attached.

sadly this is not the first time he has left such things around our home.

OK, now I'm covering my face and reading this thread through my fingers.

Thanks for that Shatners!

Shatners the least they could do is take themselves upstairs for such antics.

Tsk.

Perhaps it's time he moved out?

"penis from your girlfriend's bum during Saturday Kitchen"

That has made my day. Personally I would take it and hide it so he has to ask for it or replace it (and think about mum and dad having some bum fun).

He's a pisstaker then, with little respect for you. He must know that ignorance is bliss when it comes to your immediate family's sex lives.

well we don't know how hold the son and girlfriend are. She may be menopausal, vaginal dryness may be an issue

Has he no shame? Seriously! That's just gross.

I think if I heard my teenager having sex I would shout them to stop. I accept that it goes on - I wasn't an angel during my teenage years but I was discreet. I would be pissed off at the lack of disrespect.

Disclaimer: I don't have teenagers or older children.

I'd leave it on his bed with note attached too. Make sure girlfriend is also likely to be around to see it and to realise.

Say in the note that they put you off your sacrosanct Saturday morning breakfast.

Alternatively, next time you hear them "at it" send him a text asking if they have used sufficient lube this time, and whether or not they would like a civilised cup of tea when they are quite finished.

I am wondering why it moved from bedroom to bathroom.

Leave it on your bedside table, with the cap removed... he will struggle to use it after that .

You could pop a video camera and some furry handcuffs next to it for added impact too.

It probably needed rinsing off.

How old is he?

Sparkling, I was wondering that too!

Perhaps they began their shagging in the bath, or the shower, or over the toilet.