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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dear son please remove your...

115 replies

bananaandcustard · 17/10/2015 17:20

little blue can of lube from the bathroom. I assume you and your girlfriend used it this morning (during Saturday kitchen, btw we turned up the sound on tv to stop our ears burning) and forgot to take it back to your bedroom.

As you are so careless with your more 'personal' items I feel quite at liberty to also mention that you do need to make more of an 'effort' with your girlfriend, rather than rely too heavily on lube.

Thanks for that son.

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 17/10/2015 17:44

This will be the punchline. He's either 14 or 57.

Sparklingbrook · 17/10/2015 17:45

Must have been over the toilet Topsey. Lube bit useless in bath or shower? Grin

Topseyt · 17/10/2015 17:46

True, Sparkling.

catgirl1976 · 17/10/2015 17:47

Still.

At least he won't get her pregnant if they are having bum sex.

Silver lining, no?

TendonQueen · 17/10/2015 17:54

I'd go with casually saying when you're next all together, 'So, son, is it that you're doing anal or that you don't get her wet enough using the usual channels?' Then you can point out that there'll be no need for future conversations like this if he keeps his sex life a bit more out of your way.

catfordbetty · 17/10/2015 17:55

Replace the contents with Tiger Balm. That'll learn him.

LemonBreeland · 17/10/2015 17:57

Oh lordy! Is this the kind of thing I have to look forward to as my DC grow older?

BasinHaircut · 17/10/2015 18:05

Pass me the brain bleach when you are finished worra.

How disrespectful. I'd go batshit.

Original poster
bananaandcustard · 17/10/2015 18:06

Tigar balm...... surely the screams will interrupt saturday kitchen even more?

Son is 22yrs and cant afford to move out.

I am ok with them having sex, just to do it in a less 'chandelier' hanging from ceiling sound level.

I dont care if he is having sex with a girls bum or a boys, that is up to him and his partner.

I just wish they would be more careful with personal items and leave them in the bedroom.

I also regret picking up the said item ( without my glasses on) to try and work out what it actually was. Antibac liquid soap can be a blessing sometimes.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 17/10/2015 18:10

Tell him you used some of his toothpaste and it tasted weird.
Grin
Wait until he's eating his cornflakes them make screaming sex noises and shout loudly. Bet he will buy a tent.
Grin

peggyundercrackers · 17/10/2015 18:12

You should tell him you have your DH thought you would try it out to see if it was any good and thank him for helping you spice up your sex life.

Hassled · 17/10/2015 18:14

:o

I inadvertently picked up DS1's used condom from a bedroom floor once. It was cunningly disguised underneath some Christmas wrapping paper, and there was a rapid guest turnover so I was doing some rapid tidying. I still haven't recovered. I sort of wish I was still going through toddler hell.

Haggisfish · 17/10/2015 18:18

My dog once brought through a condom box with used condom and tissue into the lounge when whole family were there. Dog delighted with itself, culprits still unknown!

lavenderhoney · 17/10/2015 18:19

" good morning, oh wonderful son. You left some lube in the bathroom. Dont do that again. Your father and I manage to keep our sex life private in our bedroom and I'd like you to do the same. Please reassure me you are using condoms and disposing of them responsibly, or you will be paying dyna rod next time. More tea? Toast?"

ThursdayLastWeek · 17/10/2015 18:24

Haggis that happened to me too, except it was my exes dog, at my exes house, in his dining room while I was sitting with all his family eating dinner.

Then the dog ate it.

I could have died.

CreviceImp · 17/10/2015 18:25

At 22 he could pay and use a hotel with his girlfriend.

Really disrespectful if you can hear it. How about giving them a round of applause next time or just having it out with them?

Not acceptable behaviour.

BIWI · 17/10/2015 18:28

Are you sure it wasn't hair gel?

honeyrider · 17/10/2015 18:28

I'll never be able to watch Saturday Kitchen again without thinking of this

SurlyCue · 17/10/2015 18:30

I am wondering why it moved from bedroom to bathroom.

I'm worried he accidentally lifted the tube of toothpaste instead of the lube. Wink

Seeyounearertime · 17/10/2015 18:31

I'd take it and put it in your bed side table OP and leave the door cracked open so he can see it. Maybe stand a toy next to it?
If he asks just say,
"Yes son, your dad was a bit dry last night" and wink.

Grilledaubergines · 17/10/2015 18:32

I must be in the minority. I can't see the issue here. What's the difference between leaving lube out and tampons or condoms or something? Chuck it on his bed and leave it at that.

As to the noise, well yes it can be awkward to hear but they're enjoying each other and sex. When you're caught in the moment, it's not easy to think of volume!

SurlyCue · 17/10/2015 18:33

At 22 he could pay and use a hotel with his girlfriend

Why? Confused he shouldnt have sex in his own home?

BojackHorseman · 17/10/2015 18:37

If I had to stay in a hotel every time me and a girlfriend wanted to have sex I'd be bankrupt.

Pasithea · 17/10/2015 18:43

Certainly don't need lub for Saturday kitchen. Mmmmmm James Martin.

eddielizzard · 17/10/2015 18:45

squeeze most of it out down the loo and leave the cap off.

he won't want to say anything but if he does, say you thought he wouldn't mind since he left it in the bathroom and you and your dh fancied a bit of hanky panky. you hadn't tried anal before but now you're a convert.

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