To tell this friend to get lost?

[thebeezneez]

I have quite low self confidence and self esteem. I have somehow acquired a 'friend' over the past few years that has cottoned onto this and constantly criticises my appearance; to the point that I worry now about what to wear when I see her, and dread bumping into her during the school run if I am wearing anything different or new. I got a new coat a month ago and haven't dared to wear it yet as she'll be nasty. She prides herself on her honesty though.

Basically we have a few mutual friends who all dress nicely, and friend has decided that this is fine and that they can 'get away with the things that they wear'. She is very gushy about them all and says how pretty they all are. One always wears nice vintage clothes and dresses really eclectically and my friend is always saying how nice she looks. However my friend is always telling me that I can't get away with various things that I wear. I think she wants me to just wear baggy jeans and a baggy t shirt all the time.

She has, amongst many other things, told me that I should not wear skinny jeans as I am too large (size 10!), my hair makes me look old, I shouldn't wear scarves as they don't suit me, and she laughs at other things that I wear.

I feel like telling her to fuck off. I wish I had the guts to.

She sounds like a toxic narcissist. Dump her and stick to friends who make you feel worthy.

She is quite clearly incredibly insecure and massively jealous and it makes her feel better to put you down and be a complete bitch about it.

I'd call her out on it, preferably publicly so others can see what a nasty piece of work she is, then i'd have nothing more to do with her ever again and I would breeze past her looking utterly fabulous in my skinny jeans and great scarves, waving my lovely tan around.

OP, I get stuck in situations like this with people a lot. I totally understand what you mean about the gushing compliments about everyone else and then the slightly subtle lack of compliments coming your way, or the 'friendly put-downs' said 'in honesty'. Thank you for your post though, I've always thought it was just me this happened to, and hadn't thought there was any alternative than to be the one that everyone else is better than. There has been some great replies on here and I hope they are helping you too.