To think that keeping a naise house is a relentless all consuming activity?

[midlifehope]

We've recently moved to a new house 3 months ago and I'm trying to keep it all nice like. Granted I have a newborn and a 3 year old, and my dp is not that well house trained. But that aside I am constantly doing housework to the detriment of going out or having much of a life. I'm not ocd I don't think, but the house is never quite to the standard I want it. Soul destroying! Aibu?

I agree- my house is always clean and tidy and I dont do loads! I'm just organised.

I try, it's exhausting!

And this morning DH had the audacity to say that I never tidy.

Hummmrrrpph.

So all my efforts are going unnoticed anyway, so why do I bother?

We have a cleaner which helps but day to day maintenance is such hard work.

I suppose it depends on a lot of things, Fairy. If you have good sleepers who are quite quiet or docile, and a small house without lots of belongings, it's probably easier than if you have a rambling pile with several bathrooms, a couple of rambunctious kids who still wake in the night a lot, and loads of stuff. Of course, if you have the latter and still keep it looking like a showhome, then I salute you. At the moment I'm permanently shattered, in part as a side effect of a medical condition and my medication, and it's all I can do to cook dinner and tidy up once DS is in bed.

(I mean a general "you", not you in particular, btw)

I took the view that as long as the bathroom was clean and so was the kitchen that vacuuming could wait. My baby is now an adult and I can assure you that the time flies so quickly - enjoy your children growing up.

I don't have a clean house or happy children at the moment as the sheer scale of picking stuff up ALL the time makes me cross and shouty. So I don't have any of the sanity / happy kids / tidy house trinity...

My flow chart is this:

• Is anyone coming over?
• Yes.
• Will photos be taken inside the house that don't look like a frat party?
• Yes.
• Clean it.

Otherwise, I do dishes, make sure there's no food crumbs on the floor and make sure we have clean laundry when we need it.

The word that springs to mind is drudgery

Never really understood that word until I bought a house!

I have never mastered it, after several decades.

It is beyond me. I am not interested in housework or tidiness so I just can't bring myself to put in the required hours.

The house is clean enough, we always have clean clothes, towels and bedding, we always have good food, the pets are properly cared for and kept clean. That is as far as my remit as a housewife goes.

I think I may be your friend, Katie.

It is sheer drudgery and tedium. Although I know people who appear to enjoy housework, one of my best friends infact. It's one of those issues we agree to disagree on!

Mintyy, I concur!

My house is nice and clean thanks to the cleaner and DH. I generally do a bit of decluttering in the evening and change the bedding and that's about my lot.

I just about got on top of our old house, but since we've moved to a bigger place I haven't kept up. On the positive side, with older DC and work, the house is lower down my list of priorities these days.

I'm sure minimalism is the key. I love the idea, I just don't know how to have less stuff!

I did little and often when the DC were small and as long as we were all fed and clean and the 'germ' stuff bins, washing up, toilets, etc. got sorted then I wasn't bothered about a bit of mess.

I didn't let my DC wander around eating though like so many of my friends do. They ate at the table and I wiped their hands before they got down so I didn't have sticky walls and mushed in food on the furniture.

I have better things to do than be a slave to housework.

I aim low - happy if I achieve a minimum standard of hygiene. Mess doesn't bother me & DH good about pitching in. I spend less than 2 hours a week on it.

OP, not sure if this helps at all but my mum had, and maintained, VERY high standards of tidiness throughout our childhood... and by God she was a miserable harridan of a mum! She just never EVER relaxed and enjoyed herself, life was a constant litany of moaning that the house was a mess (it was immaculate) and wiping things down and hoovering around our feet and gettint stressed out before vistors came and Every Single Fucking Thing Having To Be In Its Place... My standards are, ahem, somewhat more lax, we are clean but we do struggle with tidiness, it feels like we get a bit on top of it at the end of each day but honestly it's hard to keep it that way.
I yearn for a neat home, yes, but I'm realistic. We have a very chaotic toddler and neither me nor DH are neat by nature.
It'll be neater when toddler gets a bit older.
Until then, I'd still rather live in a bit of chaos than be a stressed out misery.
That said if it's too untidy it makes me stressed (think wall-to-wall toys all over the floor; that's my limit) so I do try to prevent that from being a regular occurence.
It just doesn't matter to me enough to wear myself out/bore myself to tears tidying up on a constant basis.

Don't they say that after 4 years, the dust doesn't get any deeper?

You have all seen that twee thing about housework still being there when your kids have grown up. It's true.

Do the basics, and spend your time with your wee ones. Don't fret about it - you don't want them remembering a grumpy mummy, do you? They really do grow up in the blink of an eye!

Honestly feel like unless I dedicate full time hours to running the house, its just never ending! I would love a housekeeper.

My house is a tip mostly. Everyones fed, no onea dead. One day they'll all be gone

A clean, tidy, organised, fresh house is actually good for my sanity.

It's good for everyone's sanity. I don't understand how anyone can be happy in a messy house, it makes everything much harder to do.

"A minute spent organizing is an hour earned" is a very true quote.

Oh and I a gluten for punishment, just got a cat and kitten to add to the 4 dcs, a guinea and a gecko.