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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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AIBU wave of light for baby loss.

170 replies

3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 16:42

Ok I might be a tad U to post here, but there was another lovely thread from a lovely poster that didn't get much traffic.
Just a little reminder to anyone who would like to take part. To remember all of the precious and beautiful babies that have sadly been lost there is a wave of light this evening. Everyone is invited to light a candle at 7pm in all time zones (apologies if this is late for anyone) to participate in a worldwide wave of light in observance of baby loss awareness day.
I will be lighting mine for my beautiful angel girl born sleeping in March this year. I miss you so very much my darling but the pain of missing you is a badge I will wear with pride because it means I got to hold you if only for a little while.
Flowers to all of the other families who are lighting candles tonight instead of tucking their babies up for the night.

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ShelaghTurner · 15/10/2015 20:41

Thank you for this thread. I usually would mark this on fb etc as I feel very strongly that baby loss shouldn't be a shameful secret. However, I have an unusually large amount of pregnant friends at the moment, one of which has said she's finding it really hard to keep calm about her pregnancy worries while seeing mentions of this.

So thank you for giving me somewhere to remember my little baby K, who is still in my thoughts and missed every single day.

3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 20:44

Oh Shelagh Flowers for little baby k

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chelle792 · 15/10/2015 21:04

A couple of my friends have sent me candle pictures for baby Amelia Rose. It's lovely that they are remembering her

AIBU wave of light for baby loss.
Oddnoddle · 15/10/2015 21:10

My own little try of a poem, not exactly Shakespeare I know

My grief is like a deep dark hole

when you fall to the bottom it is so dark, so dark you cannot see a thing it's
like being at the bottom of a deep deep well

when you manage to claw your way up a bit, and struggle on, carry on, sometimes you can see the light above, your not in the light but you can see it in the distance

after a lot of time, and a lot of trying you can actually climb out of the hole, but your never far from the hole, your always standing beside it, waiting to fall in at any moment, all it takes is an insensitive comment or a sharp reminder and within an instant, you are right at the very bottom of the deep dark hole.

and so much energy goes into purely exisiting, so much energy and strength it takes to just get through the days
even on good days my heart aches and is deeply deeply sad
Normal things I find so hard and difficult like attending tots groups as the first question will be, how many children do you have
Dagger to the heart
yet I will continue to strive to make my life and the life of your sister and brother and father the best and happiest and best I can make it

just know dearest beautiful son, I love you, I miss you, I think of you every single day, I spend as much head space on you as I do your brother and sister, which is as you know, alot because you children are my world, everyday I wish you were here with us, all of us together, enjoying simple things like watching a film, having a cuddle, reading you a story, seeing your face, so perfect
and all the great times I wanted to share with you like taking you sledging, taking you on holiday, swimming with you, playing with you, birthdays and Christmas's

also I want you to know, I always think how would have your life turned out, what things would have you been into, what toys and games would you like
would you like rides in theme parks or would they scare you
would you like pets what food would you have liked
what sort of man would you become, what job would you do, would you get married, would you have children, what would you call those children, would they be boys or girls
so many things I wonder and they are all about you

I kind of imagine you would have like the toys we have in the house, like your big sisters sylvanian collection! your little brother loves them
I imagine you would have liked all the foods we do and a cheeky takeaway on a Saturday night
I imagine you would have loved theme parks rides like the rest of us
I know you would enjoy stories and reading
everyone loves them

just want you to know how very much I love you and miss you
I will miss you forever
love mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 21:11

Chelle, Amelia Rose is such a beautiful name x

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3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 21:18

Oh oddnoodle that is beautiful and so very true of what it feels like to have to live without a part of yourself. Thank you for sharing it. I really hope people who have already posted come back to read it.
I can never capture how I feel in written form. I have tried, it's just whatever I write never seems enough. When I write how much I love her I just can't express how deeply I feel it, and when I try to say how helpless I feel, it only just skims the surface.

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LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 15/10/2015 21:20

Sorry I missed this. Lighting a candle a bit late for my little nephew who was born sleeping earlier this year. He would only have been a couple of weeks older than my ds. Heartbreaking and makes me hold ds extra tight.

WaggleBee · 15/10/2015 21:21

I didn't do this as I didn't know about until now. Not sure I feel strong enough to see the flames lined up on my mantelpiece. Not tonight. A close relative had their baby today and although I am happy for them it just hurts so much that we might never know that happiness. Sorry, just wanted to get it out there. I can't say it to anyone in rl.

I am thinking of you all. ????????

3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 21:24

WaggleBee Flowers thinking of you and your precious babies especially given today.

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AugustRose · 15/10/2015 21:25

Flowers for all the precious babies remembered here and around the world.

This is actually the first Wave of Light I have missed since my DS2 died 6 years ago at 37 weeks but it was for a good reason. DD2 was having her hair cut short for a local children's charity so we were out of the house but I know her brother wouldn't mind for such a special occasion. I had on my special DS2 necklace so he was with us as always.

Thank you for sharing all the wonderful poems and sharing your stories, you are stronger than you now.

WaggleBee · 15/10/2015 21:26

Thank you lovely. Lots of love to you. FlowersStar

Trooperslane · 15/10/2015 21:26

Waggle X Sad

SeaMagic · 15/10/2015 21:29

I am lighting a candle for the baby I discovered had died at my 12 week scan in September 2013.

Love you my sweetheart and I hope you know somehow just how much you were wanted.

You would be 19 months old now xxx

AngelBlue12 · 15/10/2015 21:31

I have no candles to light for my lost two, but I will be thinking of everyone.

3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 21:32

SeaMagic Flowers

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3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 21:33

Thinking of your precious little angels too AngelBlue Flowers

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3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 21:34

August I think her brother would be very proud of her Flowers

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Pipbin · 15/10/2015 21:36

Thinking of my only ever baby - lost at 13 weeks.
I saw your heart beating so strong but it wasn't to be.
I was blessed to have you for just that short time.
Gone but never to be forgotten.

TheCatsMother99 · 15/10/2015 21:37

I don't normally join in Facebook things like this but I felt compelled to this time as a gentle message to my friends who've lost their little ones to say that I'm thinking of them. It's something that can be so hard to talk about for them but I wanted them to know I still (and always will) care.

I'm sorry to hear of those on here who've lost too. My thoughts are with you all.Flowers

purplepandas · 15/10/2015 21:37

I have my candles lit tonight. Really touched that my sister messaged me with a picture of a candle for DD1. Really means so much when other people remember. This time of year is tough, their birthday and DD1's anniversary is next week.

MrsJorahMormont · 15/10/2015 21:39

Thanks for everyone on this thread Sad

3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 21:40

Pipbin and purplepandas Flowers

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Diggum · 15/10/2015 21:46

I didn't know about this but it's such a beautiful sentiment.

Lighting my candle a little late for my tiny boy whom we lost just a few weeks ago, before he could become a proper bump.

3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 21:51

Diggum Sad thinking of you and your tiny boy

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Wilhamenawonka · 15/10/2015 21:55

Only just seen this.

It's too late for a candle now as I'm in bed but thank you for the chance to think about my little boy.
No one else really remembers as I have a rainbow baby but I'll never forget my baby Max.
I love you sweetheart.

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