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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU wave of light for baby loss.

170 replies

3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 16:42

Ok I might be a tad U to post here, but there was another lovely thread from a lovely poster that didn't get much traffic.
Just a little reminder to anyone who would like to take part. To remember all of the precious and beautiful babies that have sadly been lost there is a wave of light this evening. Everyone is invited to light a candle at 7pm in all time zones (apologies if this is late for anyone) to participate in a worldwide wave of light in observance of baby loss awareness day.
I will be lighting mine for my beautiful angel girl born sleeping in March this year. I miss you so very much my darling but the pain of missing you is a badge I will wear with pride because it means I got to hold you if only for a little while.
Flowers to all of the other families who are lighting candles tonight instead of tucking their babies up for the night.

OP posts:
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LittleBairn · 15/10/2015 18:02

Good reminder. I'm just about to pack my candle I light for my DS and DD before we move abroad. I will light it for them both tonight and for all the other babies that have passed.

Original poster
3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 18:03

Lavender the support from the hospital staff can make so much difference to how a family grieve and heal. You are doing so much and it must be so hard. It is really appreciated Flowers

OP posts:
FeelingSoBlue · 15/10/2015 18:05

I'll be lighting a candle tonight for my twin niece/nephew babies, fell asleep in January this year. Love and peace to all parents on this thread who've endured a loss, and of course parents across the world. Star

Original poster
3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 18:05

Mistletoe I'm so sorry about your loss and I wish you all the best in this pregnancy.
Isthereever it will be so special for you to light a candle, knowing we are not alone is so helpful.
Little Flowers for your DD and DS

OP posts:
Kacie123 · 15/10/2015 18:09

I'm ready with 3 candles.

I'm not sure if I care how attention-seeking it is anymore ... My therapist made a really good point which is why shouldn't I let people know that I'm hurting - why do I feel the need to hide away so much?

I think it's part of what makes it such an unreasonably taboo issue and ironically makes it harder on all of us. So sod it, I'll even post it online tonight.

Sincere Thanks to all.

ProbablyMe · 15/10/2015 18:13

I will be remembering Rowan lost at 16 weeks in January and the nameless baby lost very early in pregnancy in March.

Time passes but the pain can still be so raw I can't bear it.

Original poster
3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 18:16

Definately not attention seeking. There have been times when I have been out and about and I have seen mothers with their beautiful babies and I have desperately wanted to tell them 'I am a mother too, my little girl was perfect and I love her so much, I just don't get to hold her' I want to talk about her birth and everything but I know that I can't, or at least if I do I run the risk of making everyone feel like crap. So I stay quiet and cry when I get home and call out to my angel and tell her I'm sorry I didn't mention her when I could, that I still love her it's just people don't know how much you can love death until you carry it in your womb and hold it's precious little body in your arms. Until you have to let it go Sad
So sorry if some people get upset becuase we get one night of the year when we get to talk about our children. that one night is nearly as precious as they are.

OP posts:
SugarMiceInTheRain · 15/10/2015 18:19

Hugs and Thanks for all of you who have lost little ones. I shall be lighting 3 candles tonight for the three little ones I miscarried.

CuppaBiccieBliss · 15/10/2015 18:22

I shall be lighting two, I lost twins at 12 weeks. I was only 17, they would be 10 now and I still think of them everyday. I look at my dds and wonder what might have been. Hugs to all lighting candles Flowers

eastegg · 15/10/2015 18:23

Just spoken to a lovely man at the hospital chapel who said some very nice words and lit a candle with me for my baby.

Mumberjack · 15/10/2015 18:26

I will be lighting a candle for my beautiful daughter who was stillborn just over 3 years ago, and for the other angels I know.

HappyBeet · 15/10/2015 18:26

I was quite angry when I saw a few aquaintences moaning about it on Facebook, along the lines of 'I've never lost a baby but if I had I wouldn't...blag blah blah'.

Those people are blocked now.

Do you know what? It's not attention seeking for people to honour their dead parents, spouses or friends. It's not attention seeking for any human being to reach out and want to talk about their pain.

I grew sick of (mainly older generation) family and friends effectively 'shushing' me if they thought I was about to discuss losing Alex, or the earlier babies.

So tonight I'll be posting on social media too. And if anyone thinks it's attention seeking or it makes them uncomfortable they can just suck it up.

(Cough not looking at you in-laws Wink )

SilverNightFairy · 15/10/2015 18:27

Thinking of all who have lost tiny precious one's.. May their memories be for a blessing.. Xx

HerRoyalNotness · 15/10/2015 18:28

Flowers for us all

Lighting for our sweet India, 2 weeks until her first birthday. We miss her every day and it is so raw still.

whohasnickedmyvodka · 15/10/2015 18:34

My candle is ready to be lit for my darling daughter eve who was born sleeping a year on Saturday I'm currently pregnant and due in just over 8 weeks my emotions are all over the place huge hugs for every one who has gone through the pain of losing very special children xxx

Funinthesun15 · 15/10/2015 18:35

Flowers for everyone.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 15/10/2015 18:36

I will light mine for my wee Critter last year. I will be a little late, but will light it. Wasn't planned, and thanks to the coil ended up ectopic. But god those few days when we decided we were happy about it and picked your name...Bliss. So critter you remain. We all carried them for every second of their lives, and we'll remember them for every second of ours. Sad

Funinthesun15 · 15/10/2015 18:37

i will be lighting a candle for all the precious babies/children, I hope this is ok

Of course it is and thank you Flowers

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 15/10/2015 18:38

Yanbu I'll be lighting a candle

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 15/10/2015 18:40

Should say it's for my 3 angels

Flowers to you all

GrizzlebertGrumbledink · 15/10/2015 18:42

I'm lighting mine for a tiny patient I couldn't save. I think of them and their family every day.

TimeforaDietCoke · 15/10/2015 18:42

I'll be lighting a candle for our babies lost last year at 13 and 5 weeks respectively. I feel very emotional as I'm lucky to have a beautiful newborn boy, but I'll never forget our first two babies Flowers to all those lighting candles tonight.

melonface · 15/10/2015 18:43

Lighting a candle for my little one x

Ihatechoosingnames · 15/10/2015 18:47

I feel so lucky I have never lost a baby (I am now 36 weeks with DC2 so touch wood everything goes smoothly til my c-sec next week) so I will light a candle for all the gorgeous babies who have been lost Flowers

80sMum · 15/10/2015 18:47

I shall be lighting 2 candles, for my beloved twin boys who were born at 29 weeks and lived for just one precious day. They would be 33 years old now. I will love and miss them for the whole of my life.

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