Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?

436 replies

Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 10:17

I suspect I am. I've heard so much about them being amazing, wonderful Nanny dogs.....

But I've also heard of a lot of attacks. I'm desperately afraid of them, truth be told. I don't trust them. Especially as the dog wouldn't live with DS, but only see him about once a week so its not like DS would be "his" charge.

Sister has wanted one for years and is bitterly disappointed as this is the year she's finally in a position to buy a dog.

But in fairness I just said that she could certainly get one, but would have to see DS elsewhere other than her place as I wouldn't be comfortable with DS in an enclosed area with one in case DS did something wrong and the dog felt threatened and we wouldn't be fast enough to stop something happening.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
KERALA1 · 15/10/2015 13:52

Not keen on dogs after neighbours black lab ran into our garden and bit me on the face. The neighbour tried to say it was my fault! Still remember the frustration of being falsely accused but unable to defend myself as was only about 4 and didn't have the vocab

RoseDog · 15/10/2015 13:52

I just shared a bowl of soup with mine..I will suffer for that later when the Staffie farts start!

TheNewStatesman · 15/10/2015 13:55

"Why do you say that? Genuine question, I'm intrigued."

Some SBT owners are the scary types who have poorly socialized dogs in spiked collars.

Then you get the people who get SBTs from shelters and advocate for them ceaselessly. These people tend to be very "into" dogs and dog-rescue politics in a serious way, and can be rather, ahem, enthusiastic in their defense of their pets. Flooding threads with endless pictures of their dogs posed with babies or dressed in wooly hats etc., under the apparent impression that this actually changes people's mind about the breed. (It does not, by the way. Just so that you know.)

If someone starts a discussion saying "What type of dog shall I get?" it seems like about 50% of the responses will be from people banging on and ON about how they should get a SBT. Or a greyhound. The general rule seems to be that when a particular breed of dog tends to get dumped in shelters in disproportionate numbers, that breed inevitably gets eulogized by people who are involved in dog rescue-related issues.

I suppose they have to try and get rid of the wretched animals somehow. But it doesn't make me trust the dogs one bit more.

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 15/10/2015 13:57

lol Rose

my kids have grown up with staffies- but only by the time the youngest was 10 would I leave kids and dogs in the room together. You have to be sensible about it (bordering on overcareful)- and I stress, this is because they are DOGS, not staffs.

A problem I have is keeping visiting children away from the dogs when I can't supervise them- you have to be really really on it- I find that staffies are quite appealing to kids-though fuck knows why, they are ugly brutes Grin

RoseDog · 15/10/2015 14:01

Haha yeah are not the prettiest of dogs! And they do draw visiting children to them, I've also never had a problem with parents not allowing their children to visit because of the dog.

TheNewStatesman · 15/10/2015 14:04

Children should definitely not be left alone with dogs--any dog. But in addition, I think we should be trying to make sure that the dogs themselves are as safe as possible. It seems a bit utopian to imagine that a dog and child being left alone together can be prevented 100% of the time. In the chaos of a family household, people go in and out of rooms, kids walk around from place to place, dogs don't always stay where they are supposed to, doors get left open, people get distracted....

SisterMoonshine · 15/10/2015 14:07

I don't like seeing the photos of babies/toddlers faces near to the dogs, at all.
And I do fancy my chances of booting a Jack Russel off a child, better than a dog with more muscle like a Staffie.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 14:09

Whenever people defend fighting dogs as soppy, cuddly things and post photos of their kids romping all over said beast animal, I imagine what they would say if I had sharks in my swimming pool, and telling them that they are stupid to be afraid of letting their kids swim because dolphins cause more bites per year etc.

1pink4blue · 15/10/2015 14:10

I had the most beautiful 6 year old white full kc reg staffie bought at 8 weeks old. she was friendly and as soppy as you could get she was great with my children and other peoples I also used the nanny dog phrase.she was never left alone with my children.
She wouldn't take food from the children's hands or anything I have photos of her on her back asleep with my 14 month old son.
The next day she turned on him and tried to rip his face off and she didn't stop I got her off 3 times and she kept coming back for him. she was put down that night.
I agree not all are bad but just beware it only takes seconds for the damage to be done .dog attacks are more common than we realise the amount of people who came up to me while we were in hospital to tell me their stories of being attacked by all different breeds of dogs was unbelievable.
It doesn't matter what the breed is just always be. cautious.

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 15/10/2015 14:15

It seems a bit utopian to imagine that a dog and child being left alone together can be prevented 100% of the time

oh it can. trust me.

stairgates everywhere. constant awareness. Plus: SHOUTING

it's taken about 10 years off my life

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 15/10/2015 14:16

sorry xpost 1pink

how awful!

Flowers
April2013 · 15/10/2015 14:18

Any dog is capable of attacking a child, any breed. Dogs and young children must never be left attended because of this, but there are loads of benefits to children and adults to having a dog, teaching empathy, improving immunity, having fun etc etc etc. If she wants a staffie perhaps she could consider getting a rescue one that had been fully assessed for suitability with children - most rescue charities have just a few dogs that they are happy to rehome with young children so perhaps best she tries to get a dog like that, they may or may not be a staffie. She needs to get a dog that will help you to overcome your fear of dogs, otherwise it may put a strain on your relationship so perhaps you could try and be involved in the getting a dog process.

Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 14:33

No Quint I HAD a JRT in the past. No dog now or planned.

OP posts:
hollyislosingthewill · 15/10/2015 14:37

My Pomeranian is cute,fluffy and demonic. I 100% don't trust her with children she usually runs away from them but if they chase her she turns evil. The staffie complete opposite very gentle and seems to know how gentle to be however she is awful with other dogs and is never off lead or unmuzzled for this reason.

QuintShhhhhh · 15/10/2015 14:40

Well, if I were your child free sister, and I wanted a dog, and I had to face two options:

a) get a dog and not see baby nephew at my house
b) not get a dog and have a baby visit for a short while once a week or so

I would go for the dog! Sorry!

Dont give her an ultimation that will end up with you cutting off your own nose!

StarkyTheDirewolf · 15/10/2015 14:40

TheNewStatesman

I understand what you're saying. I'll be honest. I do think staffys get a bad rap, some staffy owners are knobs, but so are some lab owners, beagle owners, chihuahuas owners. Staffys used to be the "hard" dog used to scare off people, I don't necessarily think that's true so much anymore. My Dps are a retired teacher/social worker, they have a staff. My dgp were a seamstress/church warden, they had a staff. I know many nice, middle of the road families who have a staff. But it does seem to be only the village knobhead who allows their staffy to pull along on a chain and bark/jump who gets any acknowledgment, because its negative. All of the people I know who have staffys got them because they are friendly, sociable dogs who enjoy a walk and company, followed by curling up and farting in front of the fire. I'm not trying to change your opinion, I'm just offering another, saying all people who own staffys are crazy isn't true at all.

I won't put up a pic of ours with her Christmas hat on, even though she looks particularly smiley. Kennels are full of them, its sad.

Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 14:41

No answer from sister yet, but I'll update when she does.

OP posts:
Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 14:51

The thing that bugged me a bit is that at no point did I tell her not to get one. Just that I wouldn't be comfortable with her babysitting DS in her house alone with it. She then dropped the breed like a hot potato and sulked about how she was going to be saddled with a crap Labrador who'd just lay there like a thick rug.

I was a bit Hmm. Talk about a guilt trip. Just get the bloody dog if you want it so much! Stop blaming me!

But its a bit like "I can only have the dog of my dreams if Anna lets me have the baby around it". Errrr......no!

But anyway I guess I've totally given in now so have to stand by it and hope its a lovely dog. Cos if it ain't and I want some rules like muzzle or garden when DS is over there, I forsee a lot of flouncing.

OP posts:
sparechange · 15/10/2015 14:52

OP, it sounds like you are both being quite passive aggressive.

Your text to her is the most PA thing I've read, and her reaction to your initial concerns is also very childish. Don't let the dog become a metaphor for any bigger issues you have with each other...

Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 14:55

My text was PA? Thats mean. It wasn't. I meant it. I'm going to judge it on a dog by dog basis as people convinced me here.

We've also had breavements this year and life is too short. Thats why I started wondering if I was being unreasonable and posted here. I started to feel guilty about it.

OP posts:
QuintShhhhhh · 15/10/2015 15:00

"I wouldn't be comfortable with her babysitting DS in her house alone with it."

You are assuming that your sister is really dying to be saddled with your baby on a regular basis while you are out having fun. Do you honestly think people are so keen to babysit other peoples children that they would forego having a pet?

Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 15:01

Well she was, wasn't she!

OP posts:
StarkyTheDirewolf · 15/10/2015 15:04

I'm going to judge it on a dog by dog basis as people convinced me here.

I think that's a really good way of looking at it. Smile

sparechange · 15/10/2015 15:14

Aw c'mon, OP
"Been thinking about the staffie thing. Seeing that we're going to have to be super vigilant no matter what you get, you may as well get what you want. Look into puppies"
I can hear you rolling your eyes while you typed that! I know your priority is your DS, but you are being PA with the way you've phrased it, basically saying her decision to get a dog is unwise means extra work for you but she 'may as well' do it anyway.

I'm sorry you're having a tough year, and I don't think you've got anything to feel guilty about.
But looking at the bigger picture, dogs and pets are supposed to bring people happiness rather than arguments, so I hope it all gets sorted very soon, and you have some lovely spring walks to look forward to Flowers

WeAllFloat · 15/10/2015 15:14

Can baby gates even keep a staffie out of a room if it's determined to get in?? I'll never understand why families opt for these obscenely muscled ugly things, with a bite capable of crushing babies skulls in one snap or ripping faces off. Yes, any dog can turn, but why would I buy the dog that a lone person has no hope of stopping once it's gone demented. People can post all the pictures they like of dogs cuddling babies, but the pictures of mauled children's faces or the floral tributes when yet another child dies because granny's 'nanny dog' went berserk are the ones that make me think you should stay away.