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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?

436 replies

Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 10:17

I suspect I am. I've heard so much about them being amazing, wonderful Nanny dogs.....

But I've also heard of a lot of attacks. I'm desperately afraid of them, truth be told. I don't trust them. Especially as the dog wouldn't live with DS, but only see him about once a week so its not like DS would be "his" charge.

Sister has wanted one for years and is bitterly disappointed as this is the year she's finally in a position to buy a dog.

But in fairness I just said that she could certainly get one, but would have to see DS elsewhere other than her place as I wouldn't be comfortable with DS in an enclosed area with one in case DS did something wrong and the dog felt threatened and we wouldn't be fast enough to stop something happening.

AIBU?

OP posts:
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TheNewStatesman · 15/10/2015 12:46

Also, SBT owners come across as a bit nuts, sorry.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 15/10/2015 12:51

also, SBT owners come across as a bit nuts, sorry.

Why do you say that? Genuine question, I'm intrigued.

maitaimojito · 15/10/2015 12:57

We had a Staffie when I was a child and he was the most gentle and loving dog we've ever had.

I think the reputation for them being dangerous and aggressive comes from the minority owners who raise them to be fighting dogs (although the fighting is with dogs and not humans), and also their physical similarities with some of the banned breeds.

I wouldn't hesitate to get a Staffie as a family pet, but obviously you should never leave a child and dog alone together and ensure that the child knows how to interact with dogs.

Keletubbie · 15/10/2015 12:57

I think SBT owners are passionate about their breed. In fact, so are many owners of dogs who aren't necessarily the nation's favourite at the moment.

We're used to people being wary of our dogs in the street, or asking if they're dangerous, or suggesting we muzzle them. It's always nice to meet someone who thinks our soft lump is as awesome as we do, and wants to be licked within an inch of their life :)

maybebabybee · 15/10/2015 12:57

I was going to write out a whole long thing but I just can't be bothered. Here, OP, have a Biscuit. YABU.

Wine to everyone attempting to defend staffies.

Will just say one thing: blame the owners, not the dogs.

Dieu · 15/10/2015 13:04

YABU. I have a Shih Tzu pup (my first doggy pet in adulthood) but grew up with Staffies. Staffies are the best. Last night when I had my pup at his puppy training class, I asked the wonderful and very experienced trainer what her favourite breed of dog was. You guessed it, the Staffy!

WyrdByrd · 15/10/2015 13:11

Assuming your sister is a sensible person who knows what she's doing with dogs and is buying a puppy from a reputable breeder and investing the time in training it properly - yes, yab a bit unreasonable, and I say that as someone who is not a big of fan of alsations dogs either.

The soppiest, more gorgeous dog I know is a staffy cross - she's been with our friends since she was a puppy and seen the coming and going of 2 other dogs and the arrival of 3 babies without any issues.

My BILS's cocker spaniel however, has always been an only pet and never had to cope with babies or small children but is a vicious little bastard that I wouldn't trust in room with my 11yo without a muzzle on.

Is there any reason you don't feel you can just see how it goes before saying you won't go round with your DS?

Alexjoy · 15/10/2015 13:19

No, i would not let DS near one.

PersonalClown · 15/10/2015 13:19

SBT owners are a bit nuts? I guess so as I've just wrapped mine up in a blanket as he's feeling a bit under the weather!

To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?
WeAllFloat · 15/10/2015 13:22

Whenever people defend fighting dogs as soppy, cuddly things and post photos of their kids romping all over said beast animal, I imagine what they would say if I had sharks in my swimming pool, and telling them that they are stupid to be afraid of letting their kids swim because dolphins cause more bites per year etc.

maybebabybee · 15/10/2015 13:23

WeAll Don't be daft, the dogs that people are posting are not fighting dogs, they are family pets.

In any case in many countries people do let their DC swim in shark infested seas, because the risk of being bitten is negligible.So bit a stupid comparison really.

Wolfiefan · 15/10/2015 13:27

Pretty much every Staff I've ever met has been a soppy, cuddly bugger. That doesn't mean I will let my kids "romp" all over the poor creature. Or any other dog.
Dogs are dogs. They all have the ability to snap.
But then we have kittens and I don't let the kids put their faces too close and get clawed.
It's called being a responsible pet owner and parent.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 15/10/2015 13:30

That was a great text to send your DS op, well done for seeing sense (sorry, that sounds a bit patronising but I'm so glad you changed your mind).

Another (nutty?!) Staffie owner here. They really are lovely dogs, mine have converted a lot of people to loving the breed. I also warn people when they approach the dogs that they're in grave danger of getting licked to death!

maybebabybee · 15/10/2015 13:30

I thought being clawed was part and parcel of owning a kitten - when my two were babies I was nothing but scratches!

Was scratched to pieces as a kid, too, by my very beloved first cat whom I still miss. I'll tell you what, it stopped me jumping six feet in the air every time an animal wandered vaguely in my direction - something that my DN unfortunately does do given his mother's utterly hysterical aversion to creatures of any description, be they winged or clawed.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 15/10/2015 13:31

Aren't all dogs fighting/working dogs originally? Apart from the new ones which can't see/breath and are generally an evolutionary nightmare.

Cats weren't really meant to be pets.

And I currently have a bunny sitting on me. A wild rodent back in the day. No idea how that caught on.

Things change. Humans have evolved. Animals will have too.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 15/10/2015 13:35

Also, a lot of the so-caled Staffie attacks in the papers are actually not pure breed Staffs. But no-one is going to own up to having an illegal American pit bull when the police come are they?

ILiveAtTheBeach · 15/10/2015 13:37

YANBU. I look after dogs for a living and I would NOT have a child around this breed.

Yes I'm sure there are lovely ones around. But, they are known to have a nasty streak.

You don't say how old your DS is - I am guessing a toddler? Most dogs are wary of toddlers as they are quite erratic.

My ow dog is a sweetheart, but I do not trust her with small kids, I can tell they make her nervous.

I would recommend a bichon, spaniel, lab, greyhound. But of course she wants a Staffy, and it's not your dog, so you can't tell her what to get.

But NO.....YANBU !And if she thinks you are, well that's just too bad ....you are his mother and it's no-one elses decision but yours!

Wolfiefan · 15/10/2015 13:38

Maybe. I couldn't care less if the kittens scratch my hands. We can work on them learning to be gentle! But if my 5 year old is eye to eye and gets a swipe in her face then that's not ok.

IceBeing · 15/10/2015 13:40

I honestly can't imagine choosing to share my house with a creature that might seriously hurt me....even if it probably won't.

I mean I put up with it from my DD, but there are some obvious evolutionary drivers involved there!

I wouldn't have even a 'well socialized and trained' scorpion....or shark...or snake...or bear...or tiger...or horse or anything that could actually seriously injure or kill me.

Big dogs are in that category...cats and very small dogs aren't.

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 15/10/2015 13:41

Staffies do tend to be great with people.

Some CAN be dodgy with other dogs depending on their breeding. Genetics DO play a part; it isn't "all in the upbringing".

Socialisation to all sorts of things/people/children is vitally important for any dog. A dog who has lots of early, POSITIVE interaction with children is likely to be perfectly safe - as long as the child knows how to safely interact with dogs.

Small children should never be left unsupervised with dogs no matter what the breed or how good it is with children. That's just common sense. Accidents can happen, especially if the owner isn't present.

So it's not as simple as saying "Staffies are great with kids" or "Staffies are ravening beasts just waiting to attack someone". So many variables.

If you're not comfortable it's perfectly reasonable to feel that way.

Why can't the dog go in another room while you visit? Or in his crate with a chewie or Kong?

You/your cd don't have to interact if you don't like the idea?

BloodyDogHairs · 15/10/2015 13:42

OP if your sister decides on a Staffie and buys a puppy just remember it will go thru a awful mouthing stage which all breeds do.

I have 2 German Shepherd dogs (which I walk with my 1&3yr old dc's) and tbh I get nervous if I see a off-lead Staffie but then other dog owners will be nervous when they see my dogs.

At the end of the day you can only decide when the dog is here whether or not you will take your child to visit, my 2 dogs are from the same breeder and have been trained the same but are like chalk and cheese.

maybebabybee · 15/10/2015 13:43

I honestly can't imagine choosing to share my house with a creature that might seriously hurt me....even if it probably won't.

Like a human being, you mean?

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 15/10/2015 13:44

OOOO says staffy owners are a bit nuts?? How very dare you

I've got two

just now I might have given one a salmon sandwich (she's on tablets for tonsillitis) and praised one for not weeing on the other's head during our snork (or whiff, whichever takes our fancy- it's a walk, with sniffing), and had a looong conversation with him trying to ascertain whether it's the breadmaker or the stepladder that's upsetting him (yes, it was the ladder)

not nuts, no. Just enthusiastic

mileend2bermondsey · 15/10/2015 13:48

Yep, absolute monsters the lot of them, doesnt matter how well you train them, how you teach children to behave around them or how well you supervise them. Pic of my old staff attacking me for proof.

P.S. YABVVU

To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?
IceBeing · 15/10/2015 13:51

maybe I did say that I make the exception for DD on evolutionary grounds...having a dog doesn't perpetuate my genetic code to the next generation...