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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my sister if she buys a Staffie I won't bring DS around to hers?

436 replies

Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 10:17

I suspect I am. I've heard so much about them being amazing, wonderful Nanny dogs.....

But I've also heard of a lot of attacks. I'm desperately afraid of them, truth be told. I don't trust them. Especially as the dog wouldn't live with DS, but only see him about once a week so its not like DS would be "his" charge.

Sister has wanted one for years and is bitterly disappointed as this is the year she's finally in a position to buy a dog.

But in fairness I just said that she could certainly get one, but would have to see DS elsewhere other than her place as I wouldn't be comfortable with DS in an enclosed area with one in case DS did something wrong and the dog felt threatened and we wouldn't be fast enough to stop something happening.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
sparechange · 15/10/2015 15:16

WeAllFloat
Reasoned, fact-based and sensible posting, right there Hmm

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 15:22

Calm down, WeAll you're going to do yourself a mischief.

Huntersmum15 · 15/10/2015 15:28

I own a Dogue de Bordeaux (A turner and hooch dog for those who arnt dog lovers) and an Akita (an overgrown husky..) two of the biggest dog breeds and my DS is 3 months old. They are never left in the room together alone. Many attacks are down to the irresponsible owners and their negligence.

Every dog has natural instincts, there are no removing these, even through proper training etc.

Baby gates are not enough protection, when your DS is around sisters, never leave them unattended within visual distance. However the dog and baby need to be introduced within time, if they don't, the dog will see this more likely as a threat and also if you keep your baby from dogs he's more likely to grow up with an irrational fear .

nightmarehair · 15/10/2015 15:31

Huntersmum15 we own the same breed Grin

Huntersmum15 · 15/10/2015 15:31

Annarose you expect your sister to muzzle the dog whilst DS is around? Your going to create more problems there..

IamlovedbyG · 15/10/2015 15:33

This reply has been deleted

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Huntersmum15 · 15/10/2015 15:34

Nightmarehair - the DDB or the Akita? Grin

LadyLuck81 · 15/10/2015 15:39

I don't like my children being around dogs that are an unknown quantity to me and them without me being there and the owner too. I think that's common sense and that's regardless of the breed of dog.

But, and I'm not a Staffie fan personally, who are you to tell her what dog she can get. IF she gets a Staffie deal with it then and ask her to respect your wishes if you'd prefer the dog to be segregated from your kids when you visit.

Any dog has the capacity to hurt people but the vast majority will give plenty of warning signals that they are unhappy before causing harm. If the humans responsible for them out the work in to understand that and understand their dog and you trust them to listen to their pet and act appropriately then maybe you might feel differently?

Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 15:41

Huntersmum no, I'm just wondering if that might be an option when it grows up IF I get worried about its personality. Tbh if i get a bad feeling about it I probably wont be racing around there in the first place so it'll be a moot point.

Hopefully whatever dog she gets will be great and it wont be neccessary.

OP posts:
needastrongone · 15/10/2015 15:42

In what way IamlovedbyG? Can you expand? Do you mean unsupervised?What do you suggest I do with my dogs when my kids are back from school?

Hope you are ok OP. You are well within your rights to not want your DSIS to babysit if you do not want.

nightmarehair · 15/10/2015 15:45

Huntersmum15 the ddb, we had 2 then sadly female one had to be Pts due to health issues. Favourite breed Grin

StarkyTheDirewolf · 15/10/2015 15:45

Obscenely muscled ugly things, with a bite capable of crushing babies skulls in one snap or ripping faces off

I'm laughing because you just described my DH! Grin

WeAllFloat · 15/10/2015 15:52

All humans are capable of harming each other, but would you rather be attacked by an elderly lady, or a muscle bound hulking brute of a man? Nobody likes admitting that they let their idea of what's cute put their children at risk. If you own a staffie, and kids, you are putting them at risk for your own selfish agenda. But, I'm flogging a dead horse because not one staffie owner will acknowledge the danger until it's too late.

Original poster
Annarose2014 · 15/10/2015 16:00

Talked to sister - she was like "oh yeah, thanks....yeah, I'd really like one........unless we see something else in the meantime we really take to....."

After all my agonising!! Shock

Ah well, I have to say I feel better in myself about the whole thing. What she does from this point is up to her but I dont feel guilty anymore.

Thanks for all the multiple points of views. Helped a lot. I'll let this thread carry on without me now, as its already 9 pages, which is a bit mad!

Flowers
OP posts:
NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 15/10/2015 16:01

Yabvu to judge a hypothetical dog according to its breed.

Judge it by it's behaviour and never leave DS unattended with the dog or allow him to pester it, show him how to approach it nicely.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 16:02

It's probably best to have all able bodied men between the ages of 18 and 60 interned somewhere, now I think of it WeAll. Having them roaming around loose is just unnecessary risk.

WeAllFloat · 15/10/2015 16:08

Actually strawberry, the single biggest risk to children is to have an unrelated male living with them.

Dogzeyes · 15/10/2015 16:09

Yanbu if the dog is nervous/badly socialised/left unsupervised with your DS in your sisters care/you feel uncomfortable with the way it is behaving. And I say that as a dog owner. Tbh I always shut my (nervous) dog away with a bone when other people's kids visit just because it means I don't have to watch the dog and kids like a hawk.

Yabu if you think a staffy bite is worse than any other dogs. The vast majority of dog bites are warning bites which are not usually serious, bites which scar/need stitches are rarer and dog related deaths are extremely rare (like plane crash rare, they make the news usually!) and it's not linked to breed!!

ouryve · 15/10/2015 16:11

YABU.

The wrong owners can turn a poodle into a snarly nippy little shit.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 16:12

So you think interning men is a good idea? Hmm

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 15/10/2015 16:14

The whole point WeAll is that the risk is determined by which man, which dog and which common sense precautions are taken.

IceBeing · 15/10/2015 16:14

Why on earth would the op or anyone else go to the lengths of studying a particular dogs behaviour for hours or days on end...to see if it is safe?

There are several posts on this thread that indicate that an apparently perfectly docile protective dog can go nuts and attack a child...so what the hell is the point in 'judging the dog on an individual basis'?

All dogs can go nuts...in some cases with no warning that their actual owner that lived with them saw...let alone something a relative visiting once in a while might notice.

The OP isn't trying to stop her sister getting a dog...just telling her what risks she will and wont allow for her DS.

My personal limits would be that no dog would be left alone with my child, and no dog that I wasn't confident I could tackle would be in the same room with my child.

Even if a dog was small enough to tackle, if it was snappy or bitey I wouldn't have my child in the room with it.

captainproton · 15/10/2015 16:15

The soppiest dog we had Was a lurcher, it was daft as a brush with us his family but would not think twice about catching and killing small animals. It had to be muzzled all the time when out because it had killed sheep with its previous owner. But with us his family such a different beast, and that was the problem the previous owner refused to believe her baby was a killer. When he got older he lived with sis and when we visited he would always be in another room when baby dd was about. we'd let him come say hello and walk away to his bed And close the door.

But having seen the lurcher go from daft brush to killer with no warning no way would I ever assume any placid dog is a safe dog. It's just not worth it. And I really don't understand any owner who treats a dog as mini-human, anyone who anthropomorphises any animal in my mind is not a responsible pet owner.

HappyBeet · 15/10/2015 16:16

Just in reply to the ' cats don't come under the seriously dangerous category' earlier.

My ex nearly lost an eye, had to have surgery and the last time I saw him his face was still heavily scarred seven years after our dippy softy cat suddenly decided to fly at him from across the room and attach itself biting and scratching to his face.

She wasn't a particularly large cat and ex was a thirty year old man, so no vulnerable child. Yet the cat still managed to cause massive amounts of damage before we could both get her off.

The A&E staff said they had seen its like before.

Still to this day absolutely no idea what caused it. While he was in and I was deciding what to do I myself was attacked unprovoked. Luckily I saw it coming though.

I took the cat the next day to a feral cat rescue lady locally who said she would have her. Sad

captainproton · 15/10/2015 16:17

And dogs don't warn you they are going to attack they just do it and you have zero chance of getting there in time.

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