to think that DP should contribute a greater part of his salary to our joint/family finances?

[ScandiCinnamon]

Excuse the rambling and the exact numbers but wanted to give as full a picture as possible.

Backstory. Been together with OH (not married) for just over 9 years. Two DC's (one 5 and one 7) both in school. We live in co-owned property. He is working full time in a fairly stressful job and earn (I think) about £4k/month after tax. £2.3k of that goes into joint account for mortgage bills etc. When we met I had a decent job with a good salary, but now I work PT so I can collect the DC's after school. I earn a pittance, but still contribute. So, pretty much at the end of the month I am left with £70 'pocket money' for myself and I don't manage to save money/put anything aside for a pension. He has after commuting costs etc £1.3k to play with. Our joint account regularly goes overdrawn due to car trouble/emergency house stuff boiler/roof etc and so on.

I am starting to feel increasing resent and almost feel trapped. And that I am simply filling a function in the family. AIBU to think he should share more of his money and that it is astounding that our joint account goes overdrawn but he still has his little money pot for himself?

Don'tHave, OP has also said that the 2.3k he puts in the joint account doesn't cover all the basic expenses. That does rather sound like he's not sharing enough of his funds to support his DCs lifestyle: and OP only mentions mortgage, bills and shopping at Aldi, so it doesn't sound an especially lavish one (am guessing south east commuterville so large mortgage, could be wrong though).

But yes, the 'spends' gap is concerning and would be even if DP's 2.3k was covering the bills. Based on OPs most recent posts, it's quite clear this is a classic case of the part timer enabling the full timer to work in a long hours, lots of travelling job without having to stump up for childcare/minimising the amount of paid childcare needed (which I presume is the reason why the internalised misogyny brigade are now conspicuous by their absence). If DP works abroad a lot and wouldn't be home until 7 at the earliest, realistically that would be a nanny situation if not for OP doing all the after school care. Nursery probably wouldn't be an option, maybe a very flexible CM if one is available. OP mentioned an au pair, but tbh that plus fairly frequent cover for foreign work travel and school holidays would be a lot of responsibility for one. Either way, it wouldn't come cheap. He might not even be able to work in that job if OP were doing something similar: by the sound of things, the family unit couldn't cope with two jobs like that plus two kids. He wants OP to work part time, allowing him to take on much less of the childcare than she does, whilst keeping the fruits of the labour she facilitates for himself. This is one of the many reasons why, if I were you OP, I'd be thinking very hard about feathering my own nest.

How did the conversation go op?