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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Work Christmas Party - Inappropriate?

80 replies

allgoodnamestaken · 13/10/2015 11:33

Company are half owned by a French company and the work Christmas party is in Paris. Suggestion by French boss is to go to a cabaret show. www.lido.fr
I don't think that it's appropriate. Not sure that I'd want to be sat beside my boss and watching this.
Youtube preview of the show
Opinions?

OP posts:
DoJo · 13/10/2015 11:39

What do you think is inappropriate about it? I skimmed through the video and it looked like dancing, sword swallowing and general cabaret? Is it more burlesque than it looks (video is from a distance so it's hard to tell)?

Original poster
allgoodnamestaken · 13/10/2015 11:40

The topless dancing

OP posts:
TurnOffTheTv · 13/10/2015 11:46

Surely they will be wearing pasties if it's a cabaret?

tabulahrasa · 13/10/2015 11:49

Well there's a couple of bits with mostly naked women dancing...but they appear to just be dancing without clothes rather than stripping or doing anything particularly innapropriate.

I wouldn't be particularly bothered about watching the women without clothes with people, I'd be bothered about the fact that I'd be pretty bored though.

TurnOffTheTv · 13/10/2015 11:49

And the ladies are wearing full body stockings. Albeit nude ones!

G1veMeStrength · 13/10/2015 11:52

I haven't watched the video as at work, but as a general rule I wouldn't want to support anything that objectifies women.

DoJo · 13/10/2015 11:52

Ha ha - ready that as 'pasties' as in Cornish pasties and thought that might be a little surprising in Paris!

Would you have to go to the Christmas party? Could you say something along the lines of 'well, it's not my kind of thing and I'm sure there would be others who wouldn't want to hang out with their colleagues at this kind of show, but so long as it's not compulsory then fill your boots'. That way you are making your feelings clear but not impinging on what it presumably supposed to be a nice gesture.

Original poster
allgoodnamestaken · 13/10/2015 11:54

There does seem to be a bit of nipple/boob on show.
Wonder how it would go down if I suggested going to see a show like the Chippendales instead.
I've seen burlesque shows and enjoyed them but do think that this would be a bit boring.

OP posts:
Original poster
allgoodnamestaken · 13/10/2015 11:55

It's not that I don't want to go myself, it's more that I've been asked to book it and I have a problem with the fact that it objectifies women. If there was male nudity I'm not sure I would be asked to book it.

OP posts:
ItchyArmpits · 13/10/2015 11:58

I hate all work parties with a passion. No good can come of them.

YANBU.

IceBeing · 13/10/2015 11:58

'should I be exposed to women dancing essentially nude in the work place?'

The answer to this is no. (unless that is actually the purpose of your company...)

It doesn't matter if you are out of the work place if it is still a work function. If you spoke to your boss completely inappropriately at this event would you still be in trouble? If yes, then this is a work function and all the normal rules about diversity and equality and respect in the work place still apply.

DoJo · 13/10/2015 11:59

Oh I see - I didn't realise how involved you were in the process! Could you come up with some other ideas and just flat out suggest those instead? Tell them that you aren't really comfortable booking something that seems so one-sided in terms of the appeal to men vs women, and have come up with some other ideas which might be a bit more inclusive?

cheekyCheeks · 13/10/2015 12:00

Have you just been asked to book or asked to book it and attend it?

WhatstheT · 13/10/2015 12:01

I guess the answer will be in the numbers of people who decide to go. If it's not your thing don't go.

I'd be more bothered about travelling to a work's party that far away, I can't even be bothered when it's in the same town.

As for the youtube video, looks great to me, would be something I like, not to everyone's taste but wouldn't call it inappropriate by any stretch.

scatterthenuns · 13/10/2015 12:03

I went to a work party at the Playboy club once.

It's not appropriate.

AnotherCider · 13/10/2015 12:03

No, the women don't all wear body stockings or wear pasties. I've been to tbe Lido a few times, a number of the dancers will be fully clothed,and a number of them will have naked breasts. They don't strip, or dance differently to their fully clothed counterparts. There are also males semi-clad, though none have their penises on display.

Its probably not an ideal choice of show for a work group if you don't feel comfortable with partial nudity, i guess.

Keeptrudging · 13/10/2015 12:03

Having been to many horrific 'bring a party to a party' nights out, where I have seen more of some colleagues flesh than I needed to, this looks more entertaining.

NancyDroop · 13/10/2015 12:04

I think you are right to be uncomfortable.

Can you instead reply with some nudity free alternatives?

scatterthenuns · 13/10/2015 12:04

Although tbh your video looks very PG.

Original poster
allgoodnamestaken · 13/10/2015 12:05

I'm only new here so don't know if I'm going to be asked to attend. I don't see anyone going against what the French boss has suggested.
It seems like a complete waste of money to me but I'm not sure if it's something that the majority of people would enjoy.

OP posts:
Crabbitface · 13/10/2015 12:07

Yeah I think it's completely inappropriate for a work do. I personally would not go and I certainly wouldn't organise it. Because then you are complicit in putting other women (and some men) in the uncomfortable position of having to either go along and watch something they don't agree with to save face, or say they are not going and risk missing networking opportunities, and being rewarded for their past years work. I think that if it is being funded in any way by your company they are potentially leaving themselves open to accusations of workplace sexism. Fundamentally if there are women dancing on a stage with no clothes on - it is objectification and is no better or worse if it is in Paris, a burlesque night, or in a seedy pub down a dodgy lane.

G1veMeStrength · 13/10/2015 12:07

In that case I'd reply saying that you don't agree with the objectification of women and therefore don't wish to be involved with booking the event, unless they would like you to suggest an alternative venue.

NancyDroop · 13/10/2015 12:10

Are there other women attending? They will probably feel uncomfortable too. I wouldn't book it. There is no need to see boobs at a work event...

FingerOFudge · 13/10/2015 12:11

no, I wouldn't want to be watching this sat next to my male colleagues. If I worked for your firm, I wouldn't want you to book it!

TheHouseOnTheLane · 13/10/2015 12:14

I watched that vid right through and saw not one bare boob. I saw some flesh coloured leotards and a few low cut tops but not bare.

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