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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Work Christmas Party - Inappropriate?

80 replies

allgoodnamestaken · 13/10/2015 11:33

Company are half owned by a French company and the work Christmas party is in Paris. Suggestion by French boss is to go to a cabaret show. www.lido.fr
I don't think that it's appropriate. Not sure that I'd want to be sat beside my boss and watching this.
Youtube preview of the show
Opinions?

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 13/10/2015 12:17

we had one and I know that my boss was not hugely impressed

I am with you OP, call me a prude but this is for personal time not work

work = NO NIPPLES Grin

OfaFrenchmind2 · 13/10/2015 12:17

Those who think it's objectification, do you object the same way to nude paintings and art nude photos?
Because it is essentially the same thing. Celebration of female and male body, with excellent dancers and nice music (food is shit though). It's like putting a common stripper and a Lido dancer on the same level, and believe me, it's light years different.

allgoodnamestaken · 13/10/2015 12:18

Dancers at 30sec are partially topless and there are a few topless ladies at 4.35

OP posts:
NancyDroop · 13/10/2015 12:20

Celebrating the female body doesn't necessarily need to be part of a work event though does it?

iseenodust · 13/10/2015 12:20

Icebeing is spot on. It is still a work event if work are paying. Never mind the time of day or indeed season. It's not appropriate.

DrDreReturns · 13/10/2015 12:25

Perhaps it's a cultural difference? You could explain to your boss that the British people in your firm would find it inappropriate.

lorelei9 · 13/10/2015 12:26

This is the sort of thing I'd see with my friends
but I would be unhappy if it was suggested as a work thing

There's so much room for people to make inappropriate remarks etc, I just think I'd find it grim to be sitting next to colleagues who might be thikning all sorts - I'll grant you they could easily do that in their head to liven up an accounts meeting but then I wouldn't be aware of it!!

I would canvass opinion and see what others think.

also if you have to pay for yourself that's wrong in any case.

I know an informal work group who went to see Magic Mike as a laugh (my friend's work) and it really surprised me tbh. Again, fine if people want to do that on personal time but not for a work thing.

OfaFrenchmind2 · 13/10/2015 12:29

On that, we agree NancyDroop. Especially since the food is mediocre.
But then again, you may have to tell your French boss to learn the British way, because a work do at the Lido is pretty much normal back in Paris.
They make much of their Revenue on work related bookings.

shovetheholly · 13/10/2015 12:29

It sounds like there are a host of gender issues with this, as well as potential cultural sensitivities along lines of race and religion. Both could mean it's not seen as a fully inclusive event for all members of staff.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 13/10/2015 12:31

OfaFrenchmind2
there are some lovely male forms i would like to fully appreciate as well, but we don't get to, how odd.
so yes sexist.

NancyDroop · 13/10/2015 12:33

Maybe OP can push "the food is shit" angle Smile

It just seems to me that there must be plenty of other great ways to have fun in Paris, that are less controversial.

A river cruise? An amazing restaurant? A musical?

OfaFrenchmind2 · 13/10/2015 12:35

Well, there is also topless and almost nude males in the show, lovely ones, it's not the Crazy Horse.

And in the end, we French do not get too exited about a tit or more getting some fresh air. Maybe we have become desensitised.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 13/10/2015 12:35

tbh I think you'd be better talking to your new colleagues because you don't seem to know much about the culture of the company that you've joined eg you don't know if you are going to be invited to this event; you don't know if attendance is compulsory or optional; you don't know if the company is footing the bill or you are expected to pay. I'm also guessing that you have no idea if your colleagues would be offended by a few minutes of topless dancing during a French cabaret show.

I don't think it's inappropriate when you view it in context ie Parisian cabaret culture. But, actually, what matters is whether the people who are going to attend find it appropriate or not. If I were you, I'd try to find that out.

catgirl1976 · 13/10/2015 12:38

Hm

I went to the Crazy Horse in Paris recently with DH. I would have been very uncomfortable had I been sat next to Darren in accounts

This looks a bit tamer than that, but still......why can't you just stand round the photocopier with a plastic cup of warm, gopping wine and some Quality Street like most people? I agree it's a little much for a works do.

Georgethesecond · 13/10/2015 12:42

It's so easy just to type "I wouldn't book it or have anything to do with it" and then sit back on your sofa, issue resolved. Not so easy a situation if you might lose your job and not be able to pay your mortgage.

allgoodnamestaken · 13/10/2015 12:42

Attendance is compulsory and the company is footing the bill.
I don't know if my colleagues would be offended by this - I sit in a different office from them and am only here a short time. And even if I knew someone years I don't know that I would know their views on this type of show. I was asked to book this and commented that some people may be uncomfortable. But not sure if it's something that some/most people would just enjoy in the spirit of being in Paris.

OP posts:
Georgethesecond · 13/10/2015 12:43

Like all the LTB posters. Easy to type three letters. Not so easy to turn your whole family upside down and live with it for the rest of your life.

mewkins · 13/10/2015 12:45

If you would geel uncomfortable watching it (me too) then it is wrong that you would need to attend for work - either that you are forced to attend or feel that you must attend or else it will damage your career or will be looked upon unfavourably by your company.

I believe that there have been tribunals where women working for a company have successfully claimed discrimination because socialising with clients always took place in a strip club etc. No one should have to do something they are uncomfortable with.

Can you either politely say that you are uncomfortable with booking this or, if you must book it, explain that you won't be attending as you feel yhat the show objectifies women.

Treats · 13/10/2015 12:45

This seems a bit mad to me. Most workplaces know that Christmas parties are a massive risk area for inappropriate behaviour and control those risks appropriately. Making their female staff sit through a show with at least apparent, if not actual, nudity is hardly prudent risk management. Imagine how well this would play in court if a staff member later took them to tribunal for sexual harassment? Why do this to themselves? What's wrong with a nice meal in a restaurant?

For myself, it's not my kind of thing. I would probably enjoy it if I was with a bunch of friends, but I would HATE to go with colleagues. To the point of refusing to go, regardless of how bad it looked.

Treats · 13/10/2015 12:49

Sorry OP - not really responding to your dilemma. Have you got an opportunity to speak again to the person that asked you to book it to 'clarify' what's required? Perhaps mention that you're surprised about the choice of entertainment because this sort of thing would never have been considered in previous workplaces because of the risk of sexual harassment claims.

If you've been instructed to do this by someone senior, I wouldn't necessarily canvass opinion on it from your colleagues - that might not go down well.

Alexjoy · 13/10/2015 12:51

Sounds bloody good to me.

Can I come?

Xmas party in Paris, yes please!

Rubygillis · 13/10/2015 12:51

God, it's so FRENCH isn't it? "Ladies" (clearly not women) strutting about in mid height heels, and then a cat walks in, probably looking haughty and saying "bof"

And a warbling singer for way too long.

Amazed it's still going to be honest, it looks so old fashioned.

So many lovely things to do in Paris, is this really the best thing they can come up with?

KitZacJak · 13/10/2015 12:52

I don't think there is anything wrong with it and there is plenty of male flesh on display too. However, I know what you mean about watching with work colleagues but it wouldn't bother enough to stop me having a freebie to Paris!!

Greengardenpixie · 13/10/2015 12:59

Attendance is compulsory
Really?
I have never heard of a compulsory works night out!!!!!!
Book it and if you are not happy feign illness.

GnomeDePlume · 13/10/2015 12:59

I agree with you OP, I would consider it inappropriate for a works event. I also get majorly annoyed with works events which push gambling (eg going dog racing).

In your own time with your own money and your own choice then fine. Pushed as a works event then not fine.

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