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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Work Christmas Party - Inappropriate?

80 replies

allgoodnamestaken · 13/10/2015 11:33

Company are half owned by a French company and the work Christmas party is in Paris. Suggestion by French boss is to go to a cabaret show. www.lido.fr
I don't think that it's appropriate. Not sure that I'd want to be sat beside my boss and watching this.
Youtube preview of the show
Opinions?

OP posts:

balletgirlmum · 13/10/2015 12:59

The Lido is seen as high class in France. The dsncers are smongst the most highly trained.

I'd love to go there for the experience and I'd be as happy for my dd to work there as anywhere else.

zzzzz · 13/10/2015 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItchyArmpits · 13/10/2015 13:09

Book it and if you are not happy feign illness.

^^This, especially while you're new to the company.

Having watched the video, I think your chief problem is going to be boredom. Who knows? Maybe the geese will do something unplanned and liven it up.

You have my permission, in the event that someone makes innuendoes about the sword-swallowing, to stab them with a fork.

OneofTHOSEWomen · 13/10/2015 13:11

Could you not run it by HR first? Surely there are equality and diversity policies you have to follow even during a work outing?

Preminstreltension · 13/10/2015 13:12

Funny how it's always the female body we're being asked to celebrate isn't it?

No this is not appropriate. And this is not about being "uncomfortable with nudity". It's about being uncomfortable with the same old bullshit.

DrDreReturns · 13/10/2015 13:14

Preminstreltension FYI:

"Well, there is also topless and almost nude males in the show"

OfaFrenchmind2 · 13/10/2015 13:19

balletgirlmum Inded, I think people here think it is a former bordello that moved on to strip club. No, it's a beautiful show, with exceedingly good dancers, females or males, that happen to have less clothes than ballroom dancers.

OP, remember you are going out with Parisian people. If you want to propose alternatives, which could be a good idea for the more sensitive British workers, keep in mind Parisians will not want to do the classic touristy stuff. You will have to find something unique and entertaining enough that they forget about the Lido and do not resent their British colleagues for their apparent censure.

Happfeet2911 · 13/10/2015 13:28

I'm with ballet and ofafrenchmind, you come across as typically british, a bit of a prude and very narrow minded. There will probably be as many women as men in the audience, the dancers are some of the best around and not considered at all sleazy. I can't understand the obsession with a flash of nipple or arse, don't any of you complainers go on holiday to the Med? Go along with an open mind, you might enjoy it!

attheendoftheday · 13/10/2015 13:31

I would object! I think it objectifies women and is totally inappropriate for a work do.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 13/10/2015 13:38

You are being asked to book it. No skin off your nose to select a headcount number and put in the big bosses credit card details.

Compulsory attendance though - I'd be raising that with HR before booking it. No way on earth would I want to go to that with work colleagues or at all for that matter

lorelei9 · 13/10/2015 13:44

OP, thanks for clarifying it's being paid for

re compulsory - that means UK staff have to go to Paris for a work do? That would be unreasonable in itself in my humble opinion.

If you want to keep out of trouble, the easiest thing would be book it, say you're excited about it, then be ill on the day. Is it just a day trip or do you have to stay overnight?

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 13/10/2015 13:46

What does your HR manager think?

If it was me and I was asked for my professional opinion about a mandatory work activity that involved viewing naked/semi naked women I would have to do The Sexual Harrassment and Equality Act speech. Then maybe the "this is how much a tribunal will cost you in legal fees and management time" one too. Unless that sort of thing is part of the employment contract in some way.

Usually this face nips that sort of nonsense in the bud ->

balletgirlmum · 13/10/2015 13:53

Much as I'd love to visit Paris & the Lido I would not be happy at a compulsory event like that especially in Decemver which is a busy time with family/school commitments.

shovetheholly · 13/10/2015 13:54

You could add potential racial discrimination, too, given that some religions prohibit people from seeing nudity of this type. Particularly as this is a compulsory event.

TheBlessedCheesemaker · 13/10/2015 13:57

Not For a Work Do. Under any circs.

I would email boss and say you are terribly sorry, but this type of event would constitute gender discrimination in the workplace in the UK and you would therefore be potentially breaking the law if you booked it, and you wondered if perhaps there is a circus or something similar that he might like to suggest as an alternative for you to book?

Saying that, one of the best nights out I ever had was at the Moulin Rouge where we had a show like this. It was so unintentionally funny that we were laughing so much it hurt. Every time we stopped and wiped the tears from our eyes a different routine would come on and it would start us off again. The best was when two 'lovers' were being winched along the ceiling towards each other on wires, but the people pulling the line kept jerking it, meaning the dancers kept nearly losing their balance...whilst they desperately tried not to drop the huge workman's torches they each held in their hands, torches that they were trying to keep pointing at their own faces so that the audience could see them...all being done as they crowed out their undying love for each other...

Still not in for a work do, mind.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 13/10/2015 13:59

It's sex not gender discrimination btw

TiredButFineODFOJ · 13/10/2015 14:24

Oh dear this is so inappropriate, do you work in the city or something? Would you be staying overnight in Paris? Are hotels provided (what next- top and tailing Bob from the post room in a double bed?!?!)
Please speak to HR. And also call ACAS.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 13/10/2015 14:35

I wouldn't be offended by naked flesh on show in itself. I would however be thoroughly bored watching a cabaret show in place of a Christmas party.

Hire a room with a bar, lay on a buffet and engage a cheesy DJ. That's a Christmas work party .

Treats · 13/10/2015 15:11

ofaFrenchmind - I don't think that the British are more "sensitive" - we recognise that objectification of female bodies contributes to unequal treatment of women and that no workplace that supports equality would want to partake in that. Is it very different in France? Do French workers typically go to this type of show for their Christmas celebrations? Would they really "resent" their British colleagues because they did something different?

If the cultural gulf between the two sides is really so unbridgeable, then the firm should scrap all thoughts of "entertainment" and just lay on dinner with a free bar. Fine wine and gloppy cheese on one side of the room; egg, chips and lager on the other........

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 13/10/2015 15:20

You're all off to Paris for a compulsory Christmas party and being taken somewhere with crap food? What a wasted opportunity. Can't you go somewhere with wonderful food and wine instead? That's what I'd like most about an outing to Paris.

OfaFrenchmind2 · 13/10/2015 15:24

we recognise that objectification of female bodies contributes to unequal treatment of women and that no workplace that supports equality would want to partake in that.

Because France does not and the workplace is still like a Benny Hill skit...

Where we differ is that we do not equate Lido and strippers, skilful dancing and base objectification, and we see enough nipples and bum, male and female every day that we are not unduly titillated by the beautiful male and female dancers of the Lido. We just admire their skills, form, and the whole extravagant show. Maybe we are a bit more relaxed.

It's like having a beautiful nude sculpture, male or female. You do not want to boink it, it is not for sex.

And yes, a Lido, or Moulin Rouge celebration is not so out there in France. Op's French colleagues may have expected to go. I am not saying that they will hate their British colleagues, but the alternative proposed better be nicer than the very touristy stuff that has been proposed in the thread.

Fwiw, we French have to adjust a little to the piss ups that are the traditional British Christmas party (I love them now :) ).

Topseyt · 13/10/2015 15:25

I wouldn't book it, and would tell them why.

I can't stand work dos anyway. I haven't been to any for years, and don't miss them.

It is inappropriate.

DrDreReturns · 13/10/2015 15:42

Just tell your boss you're booking them all a hotel room each in London, they can then go out and get shit faced and have a kebab! Christmas party a la Anglaise!

ButtonMoon88 · 13/10/2015 15:52

I would like to go but I don't think it's Christmas party appropriate. Surely good food and drink are better so you can all have a chat about your Xmas plans and begin to feel festive?

whois · 13/10/2015 16:00

I would enjoy the show. I like caberet and burlesque and circus type shows.

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