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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wince at the C word on MN

309 replies

Yarboosucks · 06/10/2015 18:43

I am certainly no prude and have not lived a sheltered life…. But I am amazed at the use of the c-word on here. I just don't get the apparent acceptance to use a reference to female genitalia as an insult. Do people use that word in RL or is it just here?

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 07/10/2015 14:51

Squoosh

I don't think cunt or other swear word are 'just words' I wondered if people who dismiss them as 'just words' felt in that case it was something ok to say in their childrens hearing.
'People I know' in relation to swearing would not include my kids, no, because I don't think swear words are 'just words'
If you won't say them infront of children, then I guess they are not 'just words'
I am not bothered if other people say cunt if they choose to.

UntilTheCowsComeHome · 07/10/2015 14:57

Me and DH use a whole range of swear words in front of our DCs.

I don't doubt that cunt has featured from time to time, but it's not one of our most used swears.

We much prefer silly swears like 'knobhead' 'wank face' or 'bell end'

Our DCs are 14 and 10. They know that the worst words we use are adults only but we're really not bothered if the odd 'shit' is uttered by the eldest.

But we're working class and didn't go to uni so I suppose it's to be expected.

squoosh · 07/10/2015 15:01

Well all words are 'just words'. But clearly some words have the ability to shock and wound, but this isn't limited to swear words like 'fuck' and 'cunt' is it?

I would imagine that most people on this thread who use the word 'cunt' would be unlikely to use it (or similar) in front of children or other people they suspect would be offended.

Andylion · 07/10/2015 15:03

Andylion maybe the ones you've been around but mines pretty awesome.

MN needs a sarcastic font.

Gottagetmoving · 07/10/2015 15:07

I would imagine that most people on this thread who use the word 'cunt' would be unlikely to use it (or similar) in front of children or other people they suspect would be offended

Hopefully not, no. I think someone said they were not bothered if it offends others, perhaps even they would not use it in front of their children.
I was just curious as to how far the word was considered insignificant to them.

SoupDragon · 07/10/2015 15:44

Swear words are just words. That really is all they are. However, as with all language, the key is to know what words are appropriate to use in different scenarios.

My teens know they are not to swear in front of me, they absolutely shouldn't swear in front of anyone in authority or pele who are much younger than them and they positively absolutely on pain of death are not to swear in front of my parents. I know they swear, I don't care that they swear but I have taught them to know what language is appropriate for where they are and who they are with.

MrsP777x · 07/10/2015 16:02

I said that I swear more if I know it offends people because I'm a cunt like that.

If people took that seriously... well that's your cunting problem isn't it.

DoJo · 07/10/2015 16:10

Just curious, Those of you who say cunt is 'only a word' - Do you say it when your ( young) children are present? Are you happy for young children to say it?

Not intentionally (although it's possibly he may overhear it), but then I don't use the words 'stupid', 'idiot', 'shut-up' or 'Grandma does my head in' in front of him either. Believing that something is 'just a word' doesn't mean that anyone believes it is suitable for universal consumption by those who are unable (or apparently unwilling) to understand the nuance of language.

spanisharmada · 07/10/2015 16:20

I don't have a problem with the word cunt, I doubt my DC would be offended by it, they don't really do 'offended', bit young iI suppose.
I save my pearl clutching for words that are açtually offensive like mong or paki.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 07/10/2015 16:27

So, to sum up, according to this thread:

Scummy/working class/uneducated people use the word
Middle class, try-hards use the word
The upper classes use the word
Lecturers and well-educated people use the word
So basically, people from all walks of life use the word cunt.

Therefore anyone arguing that 'only' certain types of people use it are wrong because all kinds of people use it.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 07/10/2015 16:29

I hate that it is given such special status. As if a only woman's genitalia can be the worst most unspeakably disgusting thing that must not be named.

So I am working hard to make it as commonplace as the humorous 'dick' by liberal usage.

same here

Vagabond · 07/10/2015 16:30

A judicious swear word works brilliantly for effect, which is really why the swear word was created. If used constantly, it just makes the person sound a bit limited in their ability to express themselves.

I loved the use of "thundercunt" in the movie Spy. It was so effective because it was used once. If it had been dotted throughout the script, it would have been really lame.

I dislike the C word unless used lethally and occasionally - like a secret swear weapon!

UntilTheCowsComeHome · 07/10/2015 16:45

Unfortunately in my accent cunt never sounds as good as it should.

I'm from shropshire where we tend to drop the 't' off the end of words, so to make the word sound right I have to over pronounce so it either sounds 'plummy' or like a fake Yorkshire accent.

This means which ever way I say it, it just sounds comical.

So I stick to dick.

(The word not the body part) Grin

Anotherusername1 · 07/10/2015 16:50

I can understand people swearing in the heat of the moment, but typing on MN is not in the heat of the moment. Everyone can take a step back and think "is my post offensive" before they click post. I find some of the language on here deeply distasteful.

If you are using social media it is best not to say anything that you would not want your grandmother to read. And it's not anonymous on here. People can out themselves very easily, and you're only a hack away from people knowing what email address goes with what username.

squoosh · 07/10/2015 16:59

Everyone can take a step back and think "is my post offensive" before they click post. I find some of the language on here deeply distasteful.

That's your issue.

I generally do re-read my posts before posting, more so I can check for typos than to worry whether my use of 'cockwomble' will be offensive to someone reading.

Goodforsolong · 07/10/2015 17:06

MN, on Twitter FB etc, describes itself as 'the one with the swearing'. Ther's no bait and switch. If you want a site which restricts or bans swearing, there are plenty to choose from

^ a quote from earlier in thread (there are lots of others). As some none sweary people not only want to sensor other adults. But also clearly lack the ability to concentrate long enough to RTFT

Dawndonnaagain · 07/10/2015 17:15

If you are using social media it is best not to say anything that you would not want your grandmother to read.
My grandmother wouldn't be in the slightest bit bothered to read the word cunt on an internet forum. She was 99 when she died, only a couple of years ago.

SoupDragon · 07/10/2015 17:24

*RTFT

Goodforsolong · 07/10/2015 17:31

Grin well that pissed on my bonfire!
fair enough, I haven't looked at that page in quite awhile.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 07/10/2015 17:31

I don't have any grandmothers. They both died before I was born.

And my maternal grandmother would have massively hiked her bosom at me having children out of wedlock, despite having a relationship with a married man and giving up their child for adoption. I don't think she was any standard for me to go by.

What I write on here, as an adult, is my business and no one else's unless it actually becomes offensive. By that I don't mean someone overly sensitive having a wibble at bad language. I mean actually offensive, as in racist, homophobic, disablist, etc.

If people genuinely have an issue with swearing then this isn't the site for them. It is grossly unfair of anyone on this site, a site for adults, that allows swearing and doesn't moderate us like children, to attempt to prevent other posters from swearing just because they don't like it.

As I've said, it is not mandatory to post here. If you're that sensitive to swearing other websites are out there.

LavenderLedge · 07/10/2015 17:32

I hate "minge".

Yarboosucks · 07/10/2015 18:00

LilacSpunkMonkey thanks for the summary! I had been thinking the same thing and so my question at the top of this thread got answered. I still don't like it and won't use it, but do get that others don't feel the same way.

OP posts:
Itsmine · 07/10/2015 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 07/10/2015 18:44

...' people genuinely have an issue with swearing then this isn't the site for them. '

There never used to be the same level of swearing on the site as there is now.

PinkCrocsSize5 · 07/10/2015 19:38

I use it occasionally in real life. Don't think I have on here recently. I only use it in appropriate situations. So, never in front of the children or my parents for example.

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