Thanking people (wet tunnel scenario)

[squidzin]

Hello.
I often enjoy an afternoon walk with my baby in pram. Sometimes we get to a rail bridge / tunnel bit, quite low and thin, about 10 metres long.

We've had a lot of rain, so today there was a huge muddy puddle with only a slim stretch of gravel path to the side to go along unless you want to walk through muddy water.

So today, I was about half way through the tunnel walking through with pram along skinny bit, and this bloke appears at the other end, who sees me, so waits before coming through.

I prefer to avoid eye contact at all costs and tbh was more worried about my pram tipping than anything so trundled along out of the tunnel.

I hear this tutch and "SAY THANKYOU"... I just looked back and gave a confused look to this bloke who was I presume just avoiding getting his feet wet. It certainly was not a "give way" situation. Just self interest.

Anyway it got me thinking, sometimes I dont always thank people who stop driving at the zebra crossing if I am already walking across because basically they legally have to if they want to avoid running someone over, but I have seen other ppl do this.

I do always thank eg shop assistants for giving change back though, and waiters etc, and am not like a generally rude person.

Anyway, would YOU have automatically thanked the man on the other side of the tunnel? Would you have shouted at someone for not thanking if it were you?

I think he was a bit out of order tbh.

I would have said it.. Even if it was in self interest, it's nice to be nice. It takes a minute to say and makes both parties feel good!

Oh and I'm another who will say "you're welcome" to people who don't say thanks.. They need telling!

There's nothing wrong with a 'thank you', costs nothing and at least acknowledges the other person. Held the door this morning for another mum at school, no response In my head I do think evil thoughts, in her case, 'at least I don't look like Gollum' I do hope that there is a place in the next life where these people permanently have doors slammed in their faces!

Of course you should have thanked him! Manners cost nothing.

Wet tunnel disappointment aside, I believe YWBU. I Actually tooted my horn today at a man who didn't thank me when I stopped to let him turn right in front of me. I mean seriously, what does it cost?

And another thing...surely it is actually easier to thank someone than all the effort involved avoiding the person with better manners it, what with all the averting eyes shifty behaviour?

I bellow it at fecking cyclists who don't say thanks when I get out of their way on the narrow path at the back of us.

It wouldn't kill them, and they'd moan like feck if I just carried on walking with no way for them to get past me...

Oh I don't know. I think you probably should have said think you, or smiled appreciatively. On the other hand, I'm going to stop saying thank you for people stopping their car and giving way; I'm always giving a nice big salute or a flappy wave and smile, and hardly anyone acknowkedges it, or they look surprised that I've thanked them. It's a precarious business.

Also, I'd have done that awkward very British fast walk / half run thing that shows the other person that you're going as fast as you can and really appreciate them standing there

I like the hoppy, look fast crossing of the road that is actually slower than walking normally.....

I'd have said thank you. And I have said the same as he did to people who haven't ackowledged me when I have given way - it is rude - and makes people less likely to do something considerate next time.

Not acknowedging him shows a complete lack of respect and courtesy and gives the impression that you think you are better than he is and so deserved to be given way to. Sorry - but good mannaers are the oil that smooths the way - without them you end up with the sort of bridge stand-off that blocked a road for an hour or so a few weeks ago.

I would have said thank you OP. I am not keen on shouting at people who don't though, having been on the receiving end of a sarcastic "you're welcome" even though I had both nodded and waved. Still slightly bitter about it

Disappointing to see 'wet tunnel' isn't what my fevered imagination thought it would be. But as to the actual OP, yes YWBVU.

I don't think it matters whether you were obligated to say thanks or not, if someone sees you coming and waits/moves over so you can pass, you just say thank you. You also make eye contact, because that is how human beings (in the main, social communication disorders/other disabilities/mental health issues notwithstanding) communicate with each other - this communication includes eye contact and occasionally, y'know, smiling and stuff.

And who was self interested? Him for not wanting to get his feet wet (you don't even know for sure if this was even his reasoning), or you, for thinking you didn't need to acknowledge him at all?

But really, at the end of the day it doesn't really matter. He could have got home and moaned a bit about the 'mum by the canal who didn't even say bloody thanks the entitled cow' or he could have forgotten all about it.

Another one here who would have said "thank you". The bloke yielded, and you walked past avoiding eye contact? Unspeakably rude.

How miserable life would be if no one ever thanked anyone and just ploughed their own sweet me me me furrow. I really fear for a future full of MNetters who think their dcs should occupy seats ahead of anyone else, should be allowed to make a noise in the cinema and don't have to acknowledge presents. (All of which I've seen in the last few days on here.)

I have a neighbour that I now completely ignore because I one day waited IN THE RAIN for him to pass with his pushchair and he didn't say thank you. IN THE RAIN I tell ye. It was awful. He didn't even look at me and nod or anything, just walked straight past me.

Totally awful behaviour IMO.

Were you not grateful that he let you come through and waited for you to pass?

"I always say thank you and I would say I get thanked in return 99.9% of the time, even by young teenage boys etc. who are generally considered to be rude."

In my experience - over about 20 years of living in an area with lots of narrow footpaths - teenage boys (and also younger boys) are very polite indeed, it's very rare indeed for them NOT to say either 'thank you' or 'you're welcome' (whichever is relevant). The exact opposite is true for girls. No idea why this is, but the comment I've quoted made me realise this.

I have two young teenage boys, neither are rude.....none of their many many friends are rude either.

Op, YABU, make eye contact, say thank you, it's what keeps the world spinning.

I would have thanked him, but I also think him "ordering" you to say thanks in that way was rude.

Id thank him and get a new pram. Why does it tip?

I would have said thankyou to him. I would have also recognised cars next to a zebra crossing.

where did the op go?

You should have said thank you