Thanking people (wet tunnel scenario)

[squidzin]

Hello.
I often enjoy an afternoon walk with my baby in pram. Sometimes we get to a rail bridge / tunnel bit, quite low and thin, about 10 metres long.

We've had a lot of rain, so today there was a huge muddy puddle with only a slim stretch of gravel path to the side to go along unless you want to walk through muddy water.

So today, I was about half way through the tunnel walking through with pram along skinny bit, and this bloke appears at the other end, who sees me, so waits before coming through.

I prefer to avoid eye contact at all costs and tbh was more worried about my pram tipping than anything so trundled along out of the tunnel.

I hear this tutch and "SAY THANKYOU"... I just looked back and gave a confused look to this bloke who was I presume just avoiding getting his feet wet. It certainly was not a "give way" situation. Just self interest.

Anyway it got me thinking, sometimes I dont always thank people who stop driving at the zebra crossing if I am already walking across because basically they legally have to if they want to avoid running someone over, but I have seen other ppl do this.

I do always thank eg shop assistants for giving change back though, and waiters etc, and am not like a generally rude person.

Anyway, would YOU have automatically thanked the man on the other side of the tunnel? Would you have shouted at someone for not thanking if it were you?

I think he was a bit out of order tbh.

I would have thanked him and think to not do so is very rude

He marked himself out as an arse by by his patronising tut and "say thank you.

"say thank you", what? Is the OP 5?

I'm an over thanker in general and think women do it far to much.

Well, I agree with you there OvO. He shouldn't have tutted. I also agree women over-thank. This, however, wouldn't have been an example of over-thanking.

Well you could have both just kept walking and when you met in the tunnel you could both have stood there not making eye contact until the one who backed down first got to walk through the puddle and getting their feet wet. He, politely, waited to let you through and you were rude not to thank him.

I'd have said thank you or at least looked at him and smiled.

YABU. A little bit of manners wouldn't go astray.

What on earth is wrong with "over thanking"? Is there such a thing?

I would also have said thank you. I say thank you to everyone and am deeply resentful when I (or my DC) hold a door open for someone or give them the right of way and they just blank you completely. Rude.

I would have said thanks. He did wait for you! He could have been really rude and just started going through the the tunnel and you could have had a standoff

Yes. Where I live the roads effectively accommodate only 1 car at a time, so this scenario plays out for me daily (albeit in a car). Once you've mastered right of way, you also recognise that the people who yield to those with right of way (thereby keeping the traffic flowing) need a smile or wave to keep the whole system working smoothly.

Same goes for tube, pavements, tunnels, whatever.

I would have said thank you. Sometimes it's really not worth overthinking things. Just do what seems the nice and friendly thing to do.

Yes, he might have been thinking about not getting his shoes wet - but he could also have been thinking that he would let you through first too. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

YABU

More and more these days it seems people cant or wont use their basic booldy manners.

Don't worry though OP, eventually we'll all be ignorant pigs and there'll be nothing to bother thanking anyone for. Then no one will have to look at anyone or worry about weather or not they had to say thank you

Well, he was giving way for you: if he hadn't done that, you'd have had to run your pram partly through the water to get past him. So yes, I'd have thanked him.

I would have said thank you and would have reacted the same as him when you didn't.

'Self interest'? He waited for you pass. In my world, he showed manners and consideration.

Yes, I have automatically thanked him. You were very rude not to acknowledge him at all. Had I been him I would probably have muttered "No, thank you" under my breath.

You sound a bit rude to be honest . My DS isn't even 2 and even he knows to say thankyou in these kind of situations .

Yes, I have automatically thanked him. You were very rude not to acknowledge him at all. Had I been him I would probably have muttered "No, thank you" under my breath.

Yep. Much like, "Oh gosh sorry, am I in your way?" when someone cuts right in front of you.

What is this "over thanking" nonsense?

It's just basic manners.

He could have just as easily forced you to walk in the water by not waiting

Without the pram would you both have fitted on the dry bit? If so, you inconvenienced him. You can thank people without making eye contact too!

I would have thanked him too. Sorry.

You should have said thank you. At the very least eye contact and a smile to acknowledge that he stopped.

You were rude. Of course you should have said thanks you - he was waiting to let you through rather than get in your way.

I have a similar path near me, we always be overly British and all thank each other.
I also thank zebra crossing stoppers and as a driver get a bit eye rolly when people don't thank me at zebra crossings - it's just polite since they've used up a bit of brake pad so you can carry on.
Highway Code states I don't have to stop unless your actually on the crossing.

I would have said thank you. On my walk to DD's nursery I walk up a street that often has cars parked so high up the pavement that there is only one space to walk past. If someone waits for me to go first, I always say thank you. I would expect people to thank me if I wait for them (and they generally do). I thought it was generally accepted basic manners. Sorry if I sound harsh but you do seem to have been clueless of that fact so worth spelling it out!

the zebra crossing thing is different, because as you say, they legally have to let you past. but someone waiting to let you past, who didn't have to? I think it's polite to acknowledge it with a thank you - no eye contact needed.

Yes YABU. He was obviously staying out of your way to be polite and you should have said thank you.

I don't have enough balls to make such a comment but poor manners is DH's main bugbear and had he been the man he'd probably have said the same, being unable to let it slide. Letting a driver through a gap when they don't then acknowledge this with a wave is another one that really gets him. It's just rude.