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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think you don't go on holiday whilst having a high risk pregnancy and without adequate insurance

707 replies

Defenderwife · 04/10/2015 10:57

Woman gives birth after food poisoning whilst on holiday in the Dominic Republic.

She had a cervical cerclage so knew she had a high risk pregnancy.

Her insurance didn't cover her entire pregnancy.

They are now stranded with a premature baby in a foreign country with no financial help and are relying on donations and GoFundMe.

I have made a donation but inside I feel almost angry. Why on earth have they let themselves be in this situation? That poor poor child.

OP posts:
PurpleCrazyHorse · 08/10/2015 14:42

I've reported the GFM page as illegal based on the fact they won't be using the money for the intension specified in their campaign. I never donate to things like this as it almost always ends up with a sour taste in your mouth. It's easy to report pages using their online form.

Hoping they take the GFM page down and re-donate the funds. If they want to raise money for the hospital in the DM then they should set up a new GFM page for that.

Sansoora · 08/10/2015 16:06

If you dont donate to 'things like this' why would you bother reporting the page?

LittleRedSparke · 08/10/2015 16:31

Oh ffs

Just because you don't donate to pages like this doesn't mean you don't report them if you think that they are wrong...

Sansoora · 08/10/2015 16:35

oh ffs

are you generally so rude?

PurpleCrazyHorse · 08/10/2015 16:55

Why wouldn't I sansoora? I believe it's wrong that they're still collecting donations despite the fact that they no longer need the money for the purpose they're reporting. The page should be closed and the proper procedures followed now the campaign is redundant. Why should they get £70k+ to do with as they wish? If they want to collect for the hospital, then they can set up a page to do that.

Some people finding the GFM page might not realise that insurance are now paying out for the full cost. There is a comment buried in the comments area at the bottom, but they've not updated the main text to make it clear.

If it irks me, then I'll do something about it. Might not make a difference but I'm not going to post on here and then not do something constructive about my opinion.

multivac · 08/10/2015 17:00

Thank the lord you're here, PCH, and irked, too!

I mean, whatever this couple is going through is nothing compared to your irritation, and I can completely understand why you felt compelled to put a stop to this awful fundraising. You might want to pop across to the couple's hometown next weekend, by the way, where family and friends are hosting a fundraiser - perhaps you could stand outside with a banner or something?

sleepyelectricsheep · 08/10/2015 17:55

"I've reported the GFM page as illegal"

Why the fuck would you do that?

Your intervention could have a very real consequence of that baby having a worse outcome, or the money not being donated to the hospitals but being refunded instead and many babies having worse outcomes. Happy with that as an outcome are you?

Did you think it through or are you more concerned with blame than consequence?

Did you donate?

I did and I will be very upset if my money is paid back and does not go to the family or the hospital.

What an unspeakably awful thing to do.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 08/10/2015 18:04

How would reporting the page lead to the baby having a worse outcome? The insurance have said they are paying in full.

multivac · 08/10/2015 18:07

They haven't, actually, Abbey.
But I'm sure mumsnetters (or, more specifically, AIBUers) know best.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 08/10/2015 18:11

It said on their Facebook that they are - read Princess post from yesterday for the full thing

sleepyelectricsheep · 08/10/2015 18:16

PurpleCrazyHorse that was a small minded, petty, ignorant, self-important act that - if successful - could mean the health of several other human beings in a poor country is worse than it would have been.

I still can't believe you did it.

Like Olivia said up thread, mumsnet exists to make people's lives easier.

Your actions are truly appalling.

ConstanceMarkYaBitch · 08/10/2015 18:29

Would you ever shut up, sheep, you sanctimonious soapbox!

The child is fully covered by insurance. The parents already have 75 THOUSAND pounds of other peoples money. Nothing anyone here does will have any effect on anything to do with that baby, your dramatic shreiking is totally unwarranted.

These people have and are continuing to take money under false pretences. Jaysus, go watch a soap if you need the drama, and stop causing it here.

Only1scoop · 08/10/2015 18:42

Agree sanctimonious load of crap

Fair enough you decided to donate this you have stated several times. Well done you....and are positive and evangelical regarding your choice.

Other posters are happy with their choices and views. Doesn't mean they are wrong.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 08/10/2015 19:02

PurpleCrazyHorse that was a small minded, petty, ignorant, self-important act that - if successful - could mean the health of several other human beings in a poor country is worse than it would have been.

If successful, it means that the campaign is deemed fraudulent.

PrincessTooty · 08/10/2015 19:05

This is an emotive thread and posters are bound to have very diverse views but it would be a shame if it got bun fight'y and ended up getting deleted. Its informative and interesting.

sleepyelectricsheep · 08/10/2015 20:05

"If successful, it means that the campaign is deemed fraudulent."

If successful it simply means it doesn't meet their T&Cs, not that it was fraudulent.

Either way, if the money was due to end up being donated to a hospital in a poor country, but PurpleCrazyHorse has put a stop to that, how is that a good thing? It's not.

Oh you're all so sure the family won't donate, but what if you're wrong and a hospital in a poor country loses out on tens of thousands of pounds because of you?

What was the point of doing that? Who would it help? No one.
Why would you want that on your conscience?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 08/10/2015 20:11

Either way, if the money was due to end up being donated to a hospital in a poor country, but PurpleCrazyHorse has put a stop to that, how is that a good thing? It's not.

It's dishonest. If they want to raise.money for.a children's hospital in the Dominican Republic (an admirable cause) then they need to state that.

RomComPhooey · 08/10/2015 20:16

Sleepy - you sound awfully invested in all of this. Are friends or family?

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 08/10/2015 20:16

Yeah. I would not have reported but I still think it is totally inappropriate. There has been no indication that the insurance company won't fund medically indicated care (all of that seems to be running off a sort of hangover of mistrust from the time difference gibberish). So stop the fund. All this "oh but it's ok, we'll give it to charity " is not an answer.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 08/10/2015 21:12

I don't mind if they update their page to reflect the new purpose for the money or indeed use their story and start another GFM campaign for the hospital. What they're doing is to continue asking for money for one cause and then deciding to use it for something else, that's wrong.

sleepyelectricsheep · 08/10/2015 21:55

"Are friends or family?"

No, I have no connection with the family.

I have found this thread astonishing and saddening. Some people seem desperate to hate this family - it started long before the insurance said they'd pay out - just look at all the different reasons people are having a go at them as the thread progresses.

I can't help but wonder if when large sums of money are involved, for some people it eclipses all other relevant details. People seem to have forgotten - or don't really care so much - that there is a very vulnerable baby and family in terrible circumstances at the centre of this.

As well as being utterly depressing, it's also really interesting how people are so keen to believe what the insurance company says - who, let's face it, is part of an industry which makes profit especially when it finds loopholes to deny people in desperate need of care the medical attention they need - even prem babies. Certain people on this thread have literally made stuff up to paint the family in a bad light, so they can think badly of them. Why is that I wonder?

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 08/10/2015 22:13

As well as being utterly depressing, it's also really interesting how people are so keen to believe what the insurance company says - who, let's face it, is part of an industry which makes profit especially when it finds loopholes to deny people in desperate need of care the medical attention they need - even prem babies.

There has been nothing to indicate that the insurers actually did anything wrong, or even particularly out of the ordinary in processing such a claim is there?

The family made up (admittedly seemingly in good faith in their panic) a story about time difference loopholes. And then there is this lingering idea that they are trying to screw them over. It was all the family's panic because they read the insurance (probably for the first time based on how they reacted) and realised that they were potentially royally stuffed.

I don't understand why so many people are determined to make the company out to be lying bastards. They are just an insurance company processing claims. I don't 'believe' them, I'm just a believer in Occam's razor.

I have not forgotten about the baby at the centre of this. What has happened is very sad. I wish her all the best. I make regular donations to Tommy's for premature babies and miscarriage. But I do think that this family's behaviour now is wrong. And I still think that they were very, very foolish or naive to travel when and where they did. And not to take out proper insurance (prompting the random time difference scare). And it is possible to hold those views simultaneously.

PrincessTooty · 08/10/2015 23:12

Sleepy Do you think the family should carry on trying to raise funds even now? What would you advice them to do if they asked you?

Wolpertinger · 08/10/2015 23:30

I'd be surprised if the private hospital accepted her back. Generally speaking you don't transfer neonates between units as a) transfer is the most dangerous time and b) you are then spreading bugs from one unit to another. You arrive in one unit and then stay there until you can step down to less intensive care or go home. If the private hospital took the baby back they would be putting their other babies in the unit at risk.

So WTF are they still raising funds?

Sansoora · 09/10/2015 00:40

Why should they get £70k+ to do with as they wish?

Because those who are donating seem ok with them having the money.

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