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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 3.5yo & 7m old with parents for 3 days??

44 replies

u32ng · 03/10/2015 22:27

So, My DH has a big birthday next month and as a surprise I bought tickets to the 2016 British formula 1 GP back in July (he's a lifelong fan who's never been to a race yet). At the time, the dates for the race was wknd of 24th June.

My plan had been for me & DH to go, and for our DS1 and soon to-be-born DC2 to be looked after by a combination of my parents, DH's mum and DH's sister & BIL.

The dates have now shifted by 2 weeks to the 8-10th July. This means 2 thirds of my childcare options have been erased as DH's mum and his sister's family will be abroad. This would leave only my parents to look after both DC's for fri/sat/sun/mon am. This just seems like a long time with two young children and although I know my laid-back mum would say that is fine I don't think she would appreciate the reality of it. Especially as my dad is pretty useless at looking after young children so I just know it would be 90% on my mum with minimal help from my dad.

I was SO excited about having got the tickets (had been researching/planning it since Feb). Now I'm just stressed and don't know what to do about childcare!Sad

Taking the DC's is not an option. The only thing I've come up with so far, to give my parents a break, is seeing if the nursery would take older DC on the Friday as a one-off.

DH knows nothing about all this (being a surprise present) so I have to sort it out alone for now. Only DH's mum is aware of the issue.

So, AIBU? If so, I am desperately seeking advice on how I can I sort this out??

OP posts:
Iguessyourestuckwithme · 03/10/2015 23:17

If your mum us happy then leave them for 3 days. It will be fine.

Noideaatall · 03/10/2015 23:21

How old are your parents? Unless they are particularly old/frail, I think it's fine. It's a one off, it's not as though you are asking them to do it every week, they have plenty of notice. I would go & not stress about it.

Welshwabbit · 03/10/2015 23:23

Were it not for the breastfeeding, I'd have been happy to leave my similarly aged kids with my parents for that length of time. My brother and SIL left theirs (aged nearly 3 and nearly 1) with my parents for 5 days. All was fine. It sounds like your mum will reckon she can cope. Do you have any reason to doubt he

Welshwabbit · 03/10/2015 23:23

her?

DaleTremont · 03/10/2015 23:24

Do you have friends near that could take one or both of of the DC for a couple of hours on the Saturday or Sunday perhaps, then drop back off with your mum?
But otherwise if your mum says she will be fine, then she will! Enjoy the weekend, Silverstone has a brilliant atmosphere, you will both love it.

Yika · 03/10/2015 23:24

Ask your mum! Sounds fine to me. Do you and your mum know anyone who could come in and babysit one day to help out (under your mum's supervision given that one is a young baby)?

AgentZigzag · 03/10/2015 23:34

Agree with the other posters, if your Mum says she's fine then let her. She's an adult and knows what she's up against small children are like.

It's not as though you're fucking off for a 3 month cruise Grin

They'll have a great time!

AnnaMarlowe · 04/10/2015 01:54

All you can do is ask your Mum. If she says yes bring her back a really really good pressie and send her flowers.

Scarydinosaurs · 04/10/2015 02:13

Sounds fine to me!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/10/2015 02:21

If your mum is generally well and fit, and not too ancient, and has said it will be fine, then why are you doubting her?

Just let her do it, she'll probably love it!

Also, don't arrange childcare that your Mum will have to sort out drop off and pick up and possibly need to bring the baby in the car as well if your Dad is that hopeless without checking first that it's ok with her.

Spartans · 04/10/2015 07:16

If you know she will say yes, but actually wont be happy aboutNit and may struggle then Yabu. But that's just me personally. you mother should be trusted to tell you the truth, however you know that's not going to happen.

What would happen if by Sunday she says she can't cope and you need to go home?

Spartans · 04/10/2015 07:20

The other option is to wait until you give the tickets to dh and put your heads together to come up with a mother solution.

When are the dates set in stone?

RainwildsGirl · 04/10/2015 08:36

depends on your parents but my parents had our 3 DC (aged 4 and 2) for 10 days for us last year to go away for our anniversary. yes they were tired when we got back but they had had a ball and would happily do it again. my parents are late 50s and in good health and my dad is fairly hands on though.

if your mum says its fine and I'm assuming you know your mum well enough to know if she's telling the truth about this, go and don't look back! its great for couples to get some couple time and great for GPs to get some quality time with their GC. everyone benefits.

sometimes as a parent I think its easy to think 'I cant wait for some time away from the DC so why would anyone else want them for a week/end' - we forget that we have the everyday hum drum boringness - GPs get to do treats and have fun the whole weekend so their experience is totally different. (again assuming you have GPs who are hands on and want to be involved in the GCs lives)

kgov1 · 04/10/2015 10:03

Could your mum and dad stay at your house? It might make it easier to look after 2 small children in their own house where all their things are, your mum and dad would also not have to 'child proof' their house then either.

Agree with the others, if mum is on board, go for it.

Original poster
u32ng · 09/10/2015 07:20

Thanks for advice so far - sorry for dropping off the radar there for a bit. Busy busy week.

I suppose I am lucky in that my mum already looks after ds1 2 days a week so isn't completely clueless as to his routine etc. I will speak to them and make it clear that I will do whatever I can to try and make it easy for them. Including delegating some specific tasks to my dad so he doesn't wimp out of his share and leave both kids' care ALL to my mum!

The nursery is not far away so I may seriously consider putting ds1 in just for the Friday just so it is a bit more easy going with dc2 only, ahead of having them both on sat/sun.

Thankfully it will be summer so they won't be stuck indoors!

I desperately want to make this work for DH's sake! I still won't tell him about the childcare situation until after his birthday though. Then we can brainstorm further ideas together.

OP posts:
MissMarpleCat · 09/10/2015 07:35

I think you're taking the piss, you've no idea how discontent/content your baby will be. I wouldn't expect this of my parents, or do this for my dd. Your DH can go by himself.

Seriouslyffs · 09/10/2015 08:38

^^ are you on glue MissM
Shock

PicnicPie · 09/10/2015 09:10

I would still go as long as your parents are happy with doing the 3 days .

I would definitely look into getting your eldest to attend nursery on the Friday. Your mum is already used to your toddlers routine and toddler will be at a good age to go out with your dad, maybe swimming or softplay on the Saturday. That'll just leave Sunday and like you say if weather nice then just a picnic and run around in park or garden will be nice.

It'll be fine. Go and have a fab time.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 09/10/2015 09:17

MissM are you nuts? This is a completely normal thing to happen.

My parents went to Egypt for ten days when I was 5 and my brother 2, my mum's parents came and looked after us.

OP - if your mum says she can do it, then believe her. I think the extra day of nursery is a good idea though.

MissMarpleCat · 09/10/2015 09:34

The baby isn't even born yet, it may, or may not be, a screamer who won't sleep.
2 & 5 is very different to 7months and 3.5.

MissMarpleCat · 09/10/2015 09:35

And obviously the baby will need to be on formula and not breast fed.

Floisme · 09/10/2015 09:37

I'm not a grandmother. However if I were, I would love to have small grandchildren for 3 days.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/10/2015 09:40

Oh yes how dare you leave your children like ever Hmm

It's three days go have a good time your children will be fine. left with responsible adults... who love them....who are family.. .

god you'd think you'd dropped them.at the fire station or something Confused

Number3cometome · 09/10/2015 09:43

MissMarpleCat - And obviously the baby will need to be on formula and not breast fed.

Incorrect. What's wrong with expressing and storing up enough milk?

My baby is at nursery, he is 13 weeks old (today) and I am at work. Guess what? got a freezer full of expressed milk at home!

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/10/2015 09:45

And so what if the baby is on formula? miss