To leave my 3.5yo & 7m old with parents for 3 days??

[u32ng]

So, My DH has a big birthday next month and as a surprise I bought tickets to the 2016 British formula 1 GP back in July (he's a lifelong fan who's never been to a race yet). At the time, the dates for the race was wknd of 24th June.

My plan had been for me & DH to go, and for our DS1 and soon to-be-born DC2 to be looked after by a combination of my parents, DH's mum and DH's sister & BIL.

The dates have now shifted by 2 weeks to the 8-10th July. This means 2 thirds of my childcare options have been erased as DH's mum and his sister's family will be abroad. This would leave only my parents to look after both DC's for fri/sat/sun/mon am. This just seems like a long time with two young children and although I know my laid-back mum would say that is fine I don't think she would appreciate the reality of it. Especially as my dad is pretty useless at looking after young children so I just know it would be 90% on my mum with minimal help from my dad.

I was SO excited about having got the tickets (had been researching/planning it since Feb). Now I'm just stressed and don't know what to do about childcare!

Taking the DC's is not an option. The only thing I've come up with so far, to give my parents a break, is seeing if the nursery would take older DC on the Friday as a one-off.

DH knows nothing about all this (being a surprise present) so I have to sort it out alone for now. Only DH's mum is aware of the issue.

So, AIBU? If so, I am desperately seeking advice on how I can I sort this out??

Expressing milk is not always easy, I found it very difficult and never mastered it.

MissMarpleCat

So? doesn't mean everyone finds it difficult and if OP chooses formula that's her business?

There's also every chance by 7 mo the that baby is sleeping through and happy and in a set routine. both mine were. everyone I know with kids was too and plenty of people on here would have had relitively easy babies. it could be the opposite but that doesn't mean someone. shouldn't make plans. you just deal with what you get and adapt as necessary. even chance this will be fine.

I think you're taking the piss, you've no idea how discontent/content your baby will be. I wouldn't expect this of my parents, or do this for my dd. Your DH can go by himself.

Really? Three days with your grandkids is hardly a huge feat, and OP I wouldn't even bother with day care unless they request it. My parents took DD the day we got home from the hospital so we could get out and get some fresh air and go shopping.

Babies adapt.

My parents have been taking DD entire weekends every few weeks since she was a newborn.

You seem to be a bit confused. You see, babies are not dogs that can only bond to one person. They are complex human beings and can have multiple loving relationships with multiple people. DD now has a loving relationship with both her grandparents and us.

You have done your DD no favors by being sole carer for her, it's not hurting her don't get me wrong. But the only person it's benefiting to never get a child free weekend is your need to be near your child.

Oh, and DD was formula fed. She's still happy and healthy. I got lots of sleep because people were able to help feed her and give me a weekend to recharge. :)

I'm not sure the nursery would take them for a one off. Most have settling in days that only usually last an hour or two before a child does a full day.
And if they have never been before then they maybe upset about the situation putting your mum in an awful situation.

DH and I went away last week for 4 days to Dubai.

We have a 1 and a 2 year old and I'm 34 weeks pregnant (I had s fit to fly letter and full travel insurance!). Our parents split the childcare and the DC had a ball.

I was very reluctant to go but DH and I had an amazing time and I'm so glad we did. It's the longest time we have spent without DC in 3 years and it felt like a second honeymoon.

Our DS went to nursery for full days on the Friday and Monday so that helped but the grandparents genuinely enjoyed looking after them

I know you're all jumping on MissM, but actually I can see what she means though her phrasing and absolute statements are a bit much.

I wouldn't have left my children at that age (just a personal choice) but if I'd wanted to, I couldn't have left DS at 7 months. He had absolutely crippling, terrible separation anxiety. He couldn't settle for other people and would be distraught if I left him. I occasionally had to nip out for an hour or two here and there and he would be left with people who adored him. However, he would scream with absolute terror, shake, vomit, sweat and panic.

There's every chance that the op's 7 month old won't be like that but it can happen and there's no way I would have put my parents or DS though what would have been a thoroughly miserable time for everybody.

OP, I do hope it works out. There's every chance your Mum will have a fab time if she agrees to it and DC2 is of a disposition to cope with it. Are there any friends/godparents/siblings/cousins who can take the dc for a day out on one of the days. It can be exhausting doing a few days full time when you're not used to it. It's very different to caring for them during the day and handing them back.

In theory if you are all fine with it then go for it and have a good time.

You never know what your baby may or may not be like but if you are basing it on everything being great then why not plan to go? You've got plenty of time to have "practice runs" and sleepovers while you are still in the area :)

However my 8 month old stopped sleeping through the nights at 6 months, due to being poorly, and since has woken every 1 to 2 hours all night, and is a real handful, we cancelled a weekend away because of it, because it just wasn't the right time to be having her stay at her grandparents over night, but she spends days there now.

When my DC were those sorts of ages I was averaging about 4-5 hours of broken sleep a night (both children waking frequently). There is no way on earth I would have expected anyone else to look after them for one night let alone 3 days . The issue is that OP just has no idea what her DC will be like at that sort of age. So whilst it might be totally fine it also might totally not be.

In OP's shoes I think I would gratefully accept her parents' offer, but have a Plan B to only attend some of the GP if her children are likely to be particularly demanding.

I think it will be a lot easier on the children than having 3 different lots of carers, and not too much to ask of your mum if you think she would be ok to say no if it's too much. Nursery on the Fri is a good shout.

However IF you end up with a BF baby who won't take a bottle, you'd be signing up for a lot of heartache getting them to take one. It's necessary if you're going back to work, but I don't think I would put me and the baby through it for a treat for DH.

Surely you don't have to go for all 3 days though? I think they make you buy all weekend tickets but you don't have to go to all the sessions do you? We used to do British GP in a day, leaving home at 2am on the Sunday and arriving back about midnight. Depends how far you are travelling of course, but you don't have to go to the practice sessions too.

redsky that was the point I was trying to make. My ds used to wake multiple times in the night at that age, no way would I have expected someone else to go through that hell! Op doesn't know what ds2 will be like in the will they/won't they sleep lottery.

We're talking about July. If it really turns out that DS2 is a terrible sleeper/won't eat/cannot be left for any other reason, guess they'll have to change the plans then. I would make sure you can change the names on plane tickets, so if that's really the case, DH could go with a friend instead.

sorry, no idea where I got that you were flying anywhere.

I think you're taking the piss, you've no idea how discontent/content your baby will be. I wouldn't expect this of my parents, or do this for my dd. Your DH can go by himself.

Oh, I totally thought you were jokingjoking with this post and am astonished to read on and find you are actually serious!

hazleNutt you must be picking up on my vibes as we are planning on flying. We live in NE Scotland so it's the easiest & quickest way & also therefore makes it unlikely that I would go for only part of the weekend.

But yes when I book the flights I'll make sure they're as flexible as poss in case DC2 is a demon child and DH has to take a friend. DS1 was pretty much sleeping through at 6m and still sleeps well now: 7.30-6/6.30 so fingers crossed for same with no.2!!

Also to clarify, DS1 already goes to nursery so it would just be a case of tacking on an extra day. I sure if I give the nursery 9months notice they might be more accommodating??

I think you're taking the piss, you've no idea how discontent/content your baby will be. I wouldn't expect this of my parents, or do this for my dd. Your DH can go by himself.

Ah ha that was so funny! Yes, parents should NEVER go away form their children EVER cos it like, makes you into a shit mum or something.

When my DC were those sorts of ages I was averaging about 4-5 hours of broken sleep a night (both children waking frequently). There is no way on earth I would have expected anyone else to look after them for one night let alone 3 days .

Yeah, but when you volunteer to watch a baby for a couple days, it's not exactly a mystery what you're signing up for. I would expect to not get any sleep if looking after an infant, especially one that wasn't mine. It also depends on the her parent's age and health. If they're middle aged and in good health, just buy them some extra coffee beans for the weekend, and pick them up something nice during your trip as a thank you.

As it is her parents already look after DS a few times during the week. That means she'll have plenty of time during the 7 months to bring new baby around to meet and get used to grandma.

Just go have a good time, I should expect that your mother or mother in law ( the clue is in the name for those that think grandmothers have lost the knack , hey they managed their own kids.) All this angst from some people about leaving them, if they are fit and able then go. In the future I hope they have daughters or DIL who will allow them to look after their grandchildren. Or maybe they won't ? Op have a great time, I sure your kids will have fun too !