Excluded

[3littlerabbits]

Probably am unreasonable but basically we have a group of friends, children all at school together, playdates and all the rest. Found out the rest of the are having a party tomorrow evening at one families house with all the children. No invite for us. Feeling quite rubbish about this. Got a real heart sinking feeling about this now. Tell me to get a grip?

I thought OP said she was the only one out of this group of friends not invited.

If it's usual for them to meet up in different combinations, with other people sometimes being the only ones left out, then fine, OP was being unreasonable this time.

YANBU, OP.

I had a similar situation with 3 friends of mine in that they kept on excluding me.

In the end I decided that I didn't want to be friends with the type of people that behaved that way and that they weren't true friends anyway and ditched the lot of them.

YANBU - its hard. But if you are going to have group friendships in the community you need to get a thicker skin. Am working on this myself!

You will not be invited to some stuff and you will then hear about it and feel crap. Very hard not to feel crap and if like me you are a catatrophiser you blow it up in your head "nobody likes us! Why?!". If they are decent people ten to one its not about you at all there will be reasons why you left out this time (space? family feel they've seen a lot of you recently and want to catch up with others). Do not raise it. However unfairly it makes you look needy and whiny. DO NOT ring, or invite others to something at the same time. Do nothing.

If they are mean and looking to freeze you out (less likely but does happen) theres sod all you can do about it anyway so may as well hang onto your dignity.

The only tactic is to really work at at least pretending that you are breezily oblivious, cheerful and have so much other stuff going on you hadn't even registered.

Invite other families / couples outside the group over. Widen the net. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Any update OP?